If you were to tell me, that this movie’s pitch started something like this, I’d have believed you:

Gunn Cousins: (Pulling up the chairs closer to the table.) “Alright, we have an idea for a great movie!“

Producers: (Looking eagerly): “Cool, let’s hear it!“

Gunn Cousins: (Smiling like crazy.) “Just imagine, a Superman movie, where he’s a total dick and everything is joyless!“

Producers: (Looking around themselves, slightly nervously): “Isn’t that just Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice all over again, minus the Batman shit?“

Gunn Cousins: (Smiling even crazier.) “Nope, not at all! Because this time, he’s a 12 year old kid! See? Totally different!“

Producers: (Looking around themselves, smiling): “Can’t argue with that, go ahead and make it! And remember, joyless, Superman-like kid who’s total dick! And no Batman!“

Gunn Cousins: (Slowly leaving the room.) “Don’t you worry, we won’t! Can we have Elizabeth Banks in the movie?“

Producers: (Already counting all the dollars they are about to make from this movie): “Sure, it’s not like she’s busy with anything, just give her a call!“

And they’ve gone and made exactly that. The biggest problem with Brightburn is the movie is banking on its own premise way too much to carry the entire thing.

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS, BE WARNED!

For a horror movie, Brightburn is not scary, as it mainly relies on cheap jump scares and not on tension building for those jump scares to work. For a “unique” superhero movie, it’s not interesting at all, as it doesn’t give you more details about why Superman… I mean, Brandon, sorry, turned…

That’s my biggest problem with this movie – why did he HAVE to be possessed with something “evil” from the spaceship he came from? Come to think of it, why would the “evilness” waited for almost 12 years to possess him…? Why did it wake up? How does it work? And why wasn’t it attached to him from the very beginning since he landed?! Why it couldn’t be something like actual Superman story, where he stands out from the crowd too much, even in the early age, but where Superman was the “bigger” man, Brandon had failed and that’s why he had turned evil?

To me, it’d have been much better (and interesting) watching almost a psychological thriller about a kid who realises he’s got basically unlimited powers, and he starts to misuse those as he was always the outcast. Where we could see the potential struggle, his adoptive parents would try to ground him to be better, to be good… but no, instead of that, we got a really ineffective “horror” film with one, maybe two alright scenes and the rest was just bland mix of something, that had a GREAT potential.

No character in this movie is properly flashed out, and that’s why even the parents are bland, so when they try to convince him to “be good”, it rings false. Like the “lesson” when Brandon and his dad went camping and the dad was trying to talk to Brandon about “the birds and the bees”. At the end of that lesson, even I was confused as fuck, let alone a 12 year old with super powers and anger issues! I can’t blame him for going right out to that girl’s room, as it almost sounded like his dad encouraged him to do that! What I did like was the ending, not the fact it tried to set itself up for a sequel, but the fact Brandon actually “won” and could (potentially) wreak more havoc.

Overall, as I said in the beginning, Brightburn is a movie with brilliant idea/concept, that unfortunately relied on itself too much and it almost seems like everything else around that idea/concept was done as generically as possible, where in the end, you’re not quite sure what you’ve just watched, but you know, it could’ve been way better.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

If I were to tell you, you are about to watch a movie starring Colin Farrell, Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Eva Green and Alan Arkin, and that movie is directed by no other than Tim Burton, you’d be pretty excited, right? Well, I was…

I wasn’t even expecting that much, to tell you the truth. I was hoping for a nice, simple story about a cute, tiny elephant, with big ears and the ability to fly. Sprinkle some Burton magic dust into it, make it more dream like, and surely you can’t miss, can you…?

Well, Dumbo felt like a… robot. It felts nicely polished, it felt modern, all the actors named above were fine (Michael Keaton might’ve been too cartoony towards the end, and I wasn’t convinced with Colin Farrell’s accent, as he sometimes sounded like a parody) and the CGI was alright, detailed… but so, so lifeless. And that “lifelessness” somehow pierced the entire movie, where there is almost never a dull moment, but it all just feels bland, with no stakes.

Just to prevent any confusion about me being biased, I didn’t grow up watching the original Dumbo (1941), I’ve only seen it this year (2020) for the very first time, so this isn’t me being “harsh” towards this movie because they’ve remade something I grew up with, not at all.

For the entirety of Dumbo, I was asking myself one question: Why would you hire somebody like Tim Burton, an artist who’s “handwriting” is usually all over his movies, where whether you like the films or not, they feel like Tim Burton made them, just not allow him to do it here? Because that is my main complain – this could’ve been directed by any Joe Smith and the movie would’ve looked exactly the same, nothing would’ve been lost. I can only question whether it was Disney who kept Burton on a leash, or whether it was Tim who didn’t want to go all in…? It makes no sense to me at all.

In unrelated news, Nico Parker (daughter of Thandie Newton) seems to have talent and charm after her mum, so I’ll be watching her with interest, hoping there is a new talent on the horizon.

Sorry, if this review feels bland, but I find it hard to write something not bland about this movie, where everything is alright, and nothing stands out. I’d rather have Burton who shoots for the moon and misses, than Burton who seems to have checked out before the digital camera had batteries in.

That’s all for Dumbo! What did you think? Did you grow up with the original? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Films like Hotel Artemis puzzle me – on one hand, they have everything going for them – A-list casting from Jodie Foster (her first role in since Elysium back in 2013) and Jeff Goldblum (who I can’t really take seriously after watching his Disney+ special The World According to Jeff Goldblum – [review coming soon, btw!] especially in a role of dangerous crime lord who’s running the entire LA) to the newly rising “young blood” Sterling K. Brown and Sofia Boutella, and the concept is pretty cool (a hospital or “hotel”, if you wish, for criminals where they have rules, because they are unique and cool and… totally not ripping-off John Wick series… ;-)) but that might be THE problem.

Where other movies (and let’s face it, the John Wick influence is pretty on the nose) establish their characters and flash them out bit more, so when there is a point where they (could) die, we care, this one didn’t seem to bother. We’ve got hints of story lines where person A had a past with person B and he’s always been dragged down by person C, but it never really pays off in the way the filmmakers would want.

And that’s the main issue with this movie – plenty of things are hinted at, but some kind of fizzle out, or because of the underdeveloped characters, never pay off. And trust me, I’m always the one that complains if/when the audience is treated like a bunch of idiots who need to be told every single little thing, just to make sure even the kid who’s on their phone all the time got everything, but there is a fine difference between drop-feeding us some much needed exposition slowly and not expending on your characters (I’d say the master of this, at least for our generation, is Christopher Nolan, and there will be reviews for his movies, believe me).

BUT and this is a massive, almost Cardi B-like but(t), this is Drew Pearce‘s directorial debut. And he definitely can do style, the action scenes were not all chopped up to bits and overall the movie didn’t feel like a chore, which is always a plus, even though if we’ve had 20/30 minutes more, we could’ve had a better characters… maybe? I would not give up on him and I think considering this fact, he’s handled his first movie fairly well.

Overall: Hotel Artemis is worth checking into, if you like mindless, 90 minute action drama, where you don’t need to pay that much of attention to the story or characters. If you want more, consider checking into a different kind of hotel (I’ve heard Grand Hotel Budapest has excellent manager :-))

And this is all for this film. What did you think, did you like it, hate it? Was I too harsh? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke