Let me clarify something – I have been rooting for Megalopolis ever since I first learned about it. Written as a passion project by Francis Ford Coppola himself, entirely financed by him, he also directed it… If one of the cinema’s best directors to have ever picked up a camera wants to tell a story he has been working on and off for the last three or four decades, I am there. Despite the problems on the set, despite the numerous setbacks (no studio wanted to release it), despite the early reviews being somewhere between “it’s awesome” and “this fucking sucks, bro”… I had to see it in the cinema because of his name alone. Unfortunately, this wasn’t it.

This film felt like a dish that started as soup. Then, after some time, you add potatoes, carrots and lamb. Well, now you have kind of a curry, but what the hell, you go with it. After you season it as curry, you decide to add some cream, cinnamon and beef to that soupy curry. Ok, now that dish takes on a different life. But that’s not all; all of a sudden, you decide to add some pasta, cauliflower and rice because fusion is “so in” right now. And when you think this monstrosity of a dish is done, nah, the final touch in the form of an apple pie goes into that pot, making it a curious mess. That’s what Megalopolis was to me. There are elements of something sprinkled throughout the film here and there, but those elements never worked with the other things that were happening on the screen.

Coppola wants to talk about many things. Civilisation, the fall of an empire, fascism, living for the now but not on the account of the future, populism, time… I am sure I had already forgotten at least ten other themes this movie spoke of. Because this film, even without me knowing he worked on it for almost four decades, feels like something somebody had worked on for “a bit” too fucking long. The saying “kill your darlings” is a golden rule for movies like this that have too much on their plate that they end up feeling incohesive, infuriating and, frankly, boring.

It doesn’t happen to me often, especially in the cinema, but I almost fell asleep several times. And I was well-rested and ready to see something special. But, unlike my fellow cinemagoer who did fall asleep and was loudly snoring just one row above me a couple of times during this film, I didn’t. I preserved (it was tough, I won’t lie), but this film made me physically tired. I think it was due to my brain trying to process everything and connect these dots that, ultimately, I don’t think anyone can connect. Francis is cooking with so much stuff that it feels exhausting in the most literal sense.

Just to name an example – Adam Driver‘s character can control time. It’s never explained why, and for the majority of the film, he doesn’t use it, so you forget about it until the very end, where it’s used to kind of (?) make a point about time and its fleeting nature…? Honestly, I didn’t get it. Somebody who is much smarter than me, please explain that to me because I was so lost. And that is only one example of this spectacular mess.

The best thing about Megalopolis was the stacked cast, but I wouldn’t say the majority of them gave good performances. And I am talking about reliable people like Giancarlo Esposito, who never disappointed me until this film, where he was… not great, but so was pretty much everyone else. If I had to pick someone who left this movie unscathed, it might be Aubrey Plaza, whose character (also quite out there) I understood. But I would still not call her great in this film by any means. But I won’t blame either of the actors, as this film looks to be shot mostly on a green screen with no actual locations to be found anywhere.

The other great thing is the fact that Francis made the movie he wanted to make for so long. But the absolute worst thing about this is the fact that he, in fact, did make this movie exactly as he wanted it. Megalopolis is inadvertently the best argument you can make for some studio interference. Those of us who consume many movies often hear this phrase used as the worst thing possible. “Studio wouldn’t let me make the movie I wanted; that’s why it’s bad!” Well, sometimes, having a dog off its leash can be a bad thing, and this dog needed some leash. I believe Francis is and will always be on the record saying that this is what he wanted to make. Despite my not enjoying the final product, I am, without any sarcasm, happy he was able to make it the way he wanted it. I simply wish he gets past this unbelievably expensive hurdle and makes at least one more film. But this time, nothing of his own, and with some oversight. Even the cinema giants need someone who can stand up to them and gently, yet firmly, tell them: “No, this needs to be reworked because you are trying to do “a bit too much”, to put it politely.”

I hope you can tell that my feelings about Megalopolis are complex. It’s hard to put aside the fact that one of the most legendary directors who ever lived made a movie like this on purpose. So, because of it, you try to give it some leeway and hope that maybe, if you rewatch it a few years down the road, you will see the genius that’s been there the entire time. Maybe, who knows? But at this point, I can’t, and Megalopolis hardly worked for me. There were some interesting ideas, visuals and cast, so I wouldn’t call it a complete waste of your time; however, I can’t recommend it to anyone. Nevertheless, this doesn’t change anything about Coppola’s place in cinematic history as one of the most influential filmmakers ever.

Overall, Megalopolis is a big swing and an even bigger miss from someone who once was at the top of the world. It’s a tale (excuse me, a fable) of so many things that it feels like it’s missing a couple of hours. This should have never been a movie; this should have been a miniseries, but only if you brought on board someone Francis would listen to. As it is, it’s a fascinating exploration of someone who sees themselves as a visionary but can’t communicate it clearly enough.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke