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All of my movie reviews…

Havoc (2005) Review – Between Drama and Cringe

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Movies like Havoc are really hard to review. Not because they are so hard to follow, have super convoluted story, or some great idea behind it you’d have to watch the film five times to fully understand/appreciate, no. It’s more to do with the fact that this is one of those “even rich kids have problems” movies, which can be “a bit” cringey. And this one definitely goes to the cringe territory hard (did somebody wanted to imagine, what it would look like, if all white cast acted like the toughest gang ever, acting all “gangsta”? Nobody? Yeah, same.) but at the same time, there is a point to that. Whether it’s good enough (or a new enough) point, that’s up to us to decide.

Havoc is definitely an indie film with some big actors just before they became big (Anne Hathaway, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Channing Tatum) and it is definitely the first movie, where Anne Hathaway showed us, what she was capable of. She definitely shakes off the “princess” films and is the reason to watch this one, as she is the single reason this movie stays on some sort of tracks and doesn’t go fully into the cringe town. Her character is nothing new under the sun, spoiled, bored, rich girl, who is bored. She does dumb stuff, because she’s young, privileged and doesn’t suffer almost any consequences. But Anne does her thing and somehow, she makes her kind of likeable, especially towards the end. What I also liked about her character was the fact that even though she was everything I’ve just written above (spoiled, bored etc.) and more, she was given two choices to “snitch”. And both times, she refused, and not because she tried to be cool, no. She did it, because deep down, she understood, that what her character was doing, wasn’t right. Especially her second “not to snitch” choice was really impactful, as she had a skin in the game and there were actual stakes for her. Long story short, Anne is the reason to watch and finish this film.

Your overall enjoyment of this movie will be entirely derived from a simple question – whether you can empathize with people, whose boredom stems from them being white, privileged and not happy with their life, so they just try to be somebody else. And somebody else in this instance are black people, because this group perceives them as cooler. And that is pretty much the entire movie – bunch of young, bored students get themselves into trouble, because their lives are so dull, they are looking for that spark, that excitement, that fix. Which we can judge as being just “first world white problems”, because, yes, that’s exactly what it is. But at the same time, I can 100% believe people like this existed and still exist. And if you try really hard not to cringe, especially during those scenes, where they talk to each other, like the members of the lamest gang in the world, and look slightly deeper, you might find a bunch of scared kids, who are still trying to figure out everything.

I have also hit the age (almost 30 now) where I see what’s popular on YouTube or TikTok and can’t wrap my head around it. And of course, naturally, my first reaction “10/15 years ago, when I was that age, my generation was way cooler!” But deep down, the honest truth is – this how it always goes. Most of us can be (and were) really embarrassing while we were growing up, as that’s part of life. And the generation that matured before us, looked at us disapprovingly, saying how more cringe we are, because when they were young… see that circle of life? Every generation believes they were the shit, the peak of the civilisation and once they reach a certain age, when the trends stop making sense, they can’t believe “what these Gen eXers are into”, but are the young people truly much worse than you or I, when we were growing up? No, I don’t think so.

And I think that’s what Havoc is trying to be about. Deep down, underneath all that “glitter”, gang-like behaviour, it is all about just bunch of teenagers, who are looking for something, yet they don’t know, what that something is. Does the movie go about it in engaging way? Not really. As mentioned prior, if this movie didn’t have Anne giving her all to make it work and hold this movie together, it wouldn’t have worked at all. Who I thought also did a great job was Bijou Phillips, whose character goes from intriguing to flat out spoiled fast, but that is who she was underneath. I also liked her fixation (and I think the movie is hinting at more than that) for Anne’s character, how they depicted that friendship and the ultimate “resolution” of that friendship. That was done really well.

Overall, Havoc is definitely a movie, that won’t leave you feeling cold. You will either feel sorry for most of the characters portrayed, or feel an unhealthy amount of rage towards them, for having the means to do pretty much anything they want to, and yet, most of them are still incapable of making any sound decisions. For me, it honestly reminded of a pendulum swinging from one side to another as (I know, I keep mentioning this) mainly the scenes, where they pretend to be tough, “gangsta” and try to talk/look like black people, was a cringe fest. But without those scenes, you wouldn’t have the other ones that give you “access” to some of these characters and what they are all about. Of course that is, if you want to know, if they haven’t annoyed you prior. This might be one of the hardest movies to “recommend”, as it’s not exactly great, but Anne Hathaway is giving a great performance and for what it’s worth, I liked the ambiguous ending. Watch it with zero to low expectations and maybe, you will be rewarded…?

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

The Angry Birds Movie 2 (2019) Review – Everything and Nothing

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I have told you. If you read my review for the first The Angry Birds Movie (2016, my review here) I mentioned there was a pretty big chance of me watching the sequel, as I am usually a completionist by trade. I have finished almost every single TV show I’ve started. When watching movies, if I know the movie, I am about to watch, has 3 more sequels, I usually check to see whether I can watch them all in a row. That’s why I watched this film, even though I didn’t really enjoy the first movie that much. I was hoping, that somehow, this will be different, better, or at least funnier. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.

The Angry Birds Movie 2 feels like they somehow managed to cram every single animated movie into one. I don’t believe there is a single original idea in this film, we wouldn’t have seen done (and better) before. And yet, or maybe because of that, it really feels disjointed, all over the place and believe it or not, more boring than the first one.

The premise is simple – some time passed since the first movie happened, so there is a prank war happening between the birds and the pigs. But what’s that, a THIRD island…? Who could have seen this comi… everyone. Everybody could have seen this coming. I don’t want to berate a kid’s movie for being too simplistic, as I get it, that this movie knows very well what it is, but Jesus. This sequel is the literal definition of “it’s animated, it moves and your kids will love it while you will suffer”.

My main problem with The Angry Birds Movie 2 is just the overall boredom. I am always fine with some dumb, animated fun. As I always say, there is no need for every animated film to be “Pixar-like”, in regards to learning an important lesson, getting something deeper from a movie, no. Sometimes, all you want is to laugh for 90 minutes and have a good time. But with this movie, I found myself constantly falling to sleep, that’s how “funny” it was.

And here’s the thing – if the movie itself is boring, you can’t even enjoy the pretty stellar voice cast this movie somehow has. As if you are not in it, you aren’t really focused and as a result, most of the voices blend together. So then you take away something, that might have been a saving grace for a different film (“this movie isn’t that great, but Brad Pitt voicing the alien poop was hilarious!” For the record, this is an example, I don’t think Brad ever voiced an alien poop. But I am also sure, it would have been hilarious.) but in this case, it’s just isn’t as you are so bored, you are past caring.

The only tiny (some pun intended) saving grace and one joke, which actually worked for me, was the baby birds’ storyline, about them getting the eggs, they have managed to lose, back on their own. They go on a small adventure throughout the film, and that pay off at the very end of the film was pretty good and I had a decent chuckle. But as I’ve mentioned, that was about 5 minutes from the entire film – if somebody cut that out and made it into its own short, that alone would have been better, funnier and more enjoyable than both Angry Birds movies combined.

Overall, The Angry Birds Movie 2 is an unbelievably precise example of throwing everything onto a wall and seeing what sticks. Every joke, every character you will recognize from some other movie. There is zero to no originality involved and most importantly, it’s really boring. The animation is as always decent and the baby birds’ storyline was pretty funny, but that’s about it. If you have enjoyed the original movie, you might enjoy this one too. If you are more like me and you weren’t that impressed, do stay away from this one.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

When a Stranger Calls (1979) Review – Have You Checked The Children?

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When a Stranger Calls is one of those films, where I have unintentionally seen the remake first (When a Stranger Calls (2006)) that was… pretty average movie with a great idea. And knowing what I know, I had an inkling, that the original should be much better film, so it’s been on my ever growing “to-watch-list”, that includes thousands of movies (yes, that list might just be an imaginary one, inside my head). Well finally, I have stumbled upon it recently, and I immediately pressed play, to see how much the remake took from the original, and whether the original was really that great. Turns out… the remake only took the concept and modernized it, and the original is just slightly better, but not miles better.

The first 15/20 minutes are almost perfect. The way this film builds up tension, the constant phone ringing (remember, this was long before caller IDs were a thing) and the ultimate “pay off” – I was hooked. But then, the movie makes a really interesting choice that just didn’t work for me. There is no way for me to talk about that without spoiling pretty much the entire thing, so that is what I am about to do. But before putting the spoiler tag on, let me just say that overall, I see what this film was going for, but I don’t think the idea worked. And in some way, I wish somebody took the best parts from both versions (this movie and the 2006 remake) and made them into a one, “ultimate” film, because I think both movies just scratched the surface of what could have been achieved. With that being said…

Beware, SPOILERS are coming!

Let me make myself clear – the parts of the remake I really enjoyed was the idea that someone can trap you within a house, where they can see your every move and they always seem to be a few steps ahead. Not giving you plenty of outs. That is what I thought I am going to get here, that the entire film will be about the babysitter dealing with this weirdo on the phone. But no, that’s only the first 20 minutes, and then, we suddenly get to not only see the weirdo, but also get to know him. A lot. And not only that, there is a time jump and suddenly, right after the opening 20 minutes, we jump to “seven years later”. And you know when you get to know the “big bad” in movies, what motivated them to do what they’ve done, it usually makes them less scary? Unfortunately, this would be the prime example of that.

When the movie focused for most of it on the “stranger” and what makes him tick, tried to give us exposition about him, all tense atmosphere just went out of the window. And the time jump didn’t make sense to me. It almost felt like the people behind this movie weren’t too sure if they’d manage to make this film work within just one set/house, so they’ve decided to take the “easy” route and give us some backstory about him, just so we “re-unite” with the babysitter 7 seven years later, only this time, she herself has a babysitter…? Circle of life metaphor? Why? And for some reason, this guy is really fixated on her, even though we don’t know why.

That’s the thing that bothered me the most – if you stop your film dead in its tracks to give us the entire backstory of somebody, who kills two kids in the opening scene (and apparently, he didn’t need any tools, he just ripped them apart, so he must have superhuman strength) they didn’t really say or suggested why would he go back? Why was he so fixated on Carol Kane‘s character to come back and haunt her…? If there ever was an example of “having your cake and eating it too” in movies, this would be a perfect one, as we get this backstory, really “exciting” chase scene and yet, when comes to the movie’s finale, we are just supposed to accept he’s back, because we have seen her character in the beginning…? Honestly, the movie really falls apart for me in the middle.

Let me just say, even though it didn’t make sense to me (or to formulate myself better, wasn’t explained well) the last 20 minutes or so were really enjoyable and I wished the movie just picked a lane. It almost felt like someone directed the beginning of this film, got fired right after that, somebody else overtook the movie, but since they shot the “boring” parts, they also got fired, and the original person was re-hired to finish the film, hence the last 20 minutes we have a great tension again. This movie confuses me on so many levels.

Overall, When a Stranger Calls is a story of two films, actively battling each other. The first and last 20 minutes can be viewed on their own as sort of masterclasses on how to build up tension. How to do a lot with a little and I really liked that. Unfortunately, the middle part of the movie stops the film and any tension dead in its tracks. Which brings me to a strange position – the remake was quite an average film that was still watchable, the original has highs, but also lows, so it balances itself out. But I can’t say just because the original came first, it’s much better than the remake, as it is simply not. Don’t get me wrong, when this movie operates in its peak, it’s great. But that middle part just drags everything down. This might be one of the rare instances, where I would say if you liked this film, you might (to a certain extent) like the remake too. That doesn’t change the fact that both could be improved. If you think about it, most successful thriller/horror movies worked, because they made us afraid of everyday things (like Jaws (1975) made sharks scarier than they were, or Psycho (1960) made us afraid to take a shower). This concept (stranger won’t stop calling you and makes you isolated in a house, you don’t know) is a great one. But neither of those two movies explores it well enough.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004) Review – Stay Classy, San Diego

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Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy is one of those movies, that just grows on you, or better said, it did on me. I still remember my very first time watching this film, I wasn’t ready for the amount of craziness, that’s in strange, chaotic comedy. I am not saying I didn’t like it at the time, but this movie became one of those everybody around me loved, and I just liked. I’ve recently re-watched it, just to see how this film plays out now and I am definitely more on board with this entire craziness. Almost to the point of loving it, or at least very, very close.

One thing I have totally forgotten, it’s how many people are in this movie. Obviously, you don’t forget the “main players”, but I was pleasantly surprised to see the likes of Kathryn Hahn, Seth Rogen, Danny Trejo or Jack Black in mostly tiny roles, most of them could be classified as “glorified cameos”. And yet, they all have a scene or two, where they manage to squeeze a joke (more often not just one).

The main thing about this film and why I might have been so surprised the first time watching it, is how it takes itself seriously in its abstract humour. How they have taken the Airplane! (1980, my review here) approach, and just went nuts, but they took the craziness even further. The prime example of what I am talking about, is the now infamous “battle of the reporters” scene. Specifically, how Brick (brilliantly played by Steve Carell, just before he became THE Steve Carell we all know and love) suddenly, in the middle of this chaotic fight (he starts with a hand grenade, because of course he does) has a trident and kills one of the reporters with it. Later on, they allude to that fact, acknowledge it happened and Ron (aka Will Ferrell himself, who was born to play this role) just says in this really calm, matter of fact manner: “Brick, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you’re probably wanted for murder.” But then, this gets forgotten about and the movie goes on, like nothing happened. And that’s the kind of madness I enjoy or had to “mature” in some way to appreciate.

What I think is not talked about enough regarding this film, is how “woke” the film is, before being woke was popular. They not only displayed various forms of prejudices and sexist behaviour towards women at work, from the obvious ones, to the “tiny ones” (calling woman “honey”, “sweetie”, telling her to calm down, etc.), but they also address them and what’s more, the movie gives Christina Applegate the chance to prove herself. The best part is, her character isn’t tricking anybody, she isn’t scheming, she doesn’t have to sacrifice her integrity to succeed or anything like that, she’s just really good at what she does and when she finally gets that one chance to prove it, she nails where she can’t be ignored anymore, no matter how “old fashioned” the station’s management is.

I have really enjoyed re-visiting this film, but I still can’t give it the highest marks just yet. For me, the reason is simple – the movie slows down massively towards the end. I understand it’d be near impossible to have a comedy movie, that doesn’t have some slow spots, but the last 20 minutes or so, I thought the movie took the foot from the gas maybe just a little bit too much. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still one of the best (maybe even the best) comedies of the 2000s, as plenty of different quotes worked their way into our vocabulary, there are quite a few memes from this film too (which believe it or not, is also how to measure film’s/TV’s success nowadays) and most importantly of all, it’s funny. They really struck gold with this casting, nobody feels out of place, they all work together perfectly and you just sit down, relax and go along for the ride.

Overall, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy is a really great, fun movie, that will make you laugh, you will fall in love with basically everyone in this cast (as it’s impossible not to) and I think if you haven’t seen it (either ever, or in a long time), give it a watch. It definitely holds up. I am planning to re-visit the Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (2013) at some point too, as I have watched it just once too and remember not hating it as much as everybody and then catching good chunk of the film on TV a few years ago, and laughing way more than expected. That will be a good one to re-watch, as I know most people were really disappointed by it. But you won’t be disappointed by the original, I almost guarantee it.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

The New Mutants (2020) Review – The Accents, The Delays and Anya

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Finally, here it is. The movie, that got 5 (yes, FIVE) release dates, finally arrived in 2020 and after everything we’ve heard about it, how there were supposed to be reshoots, but the cast got “visibly older” (the movie was shot around 2017, if I am not mistaken) so it was re-cut a bit… talk about too many cooks making a stew. But the funny thing is, that usually is a death sentence for any movie, because every time you hear stories about test audiences not being satisfied, new release dates being implemented, you kind of expect a bit of shit storm. And this movie, while not great by any stretch of imagination, it’s actually not that bad. It is also not that great.

I find myself typing this a lot lately, but The New Mutants is yet another instance, where I can see the overall idea, the movie is based on being really interesting, but it didn’t translate that well to the movie itself. Respectively, the movie doesn’t know, what it wants to be. It’s blending genres like it’s nothing, but not everyone can blend them well enough to actually create a palatable film. It’s like when cooking a meal, just because you use 20 different ingredients with 15 various spices, that itself won’t make it a delicious dish. This film wanted to be teen angst drama, mixed with horror, mixed with X-Men universe on the side. The result is… all over the place. For a horror it’s not scary, it doesn’t know how to build up tension properly, so most of those “horror” scenes end up being laughable, rather than scary. The only decent example of getting really close to the horror element, the film desperately wanted to have, was the “Smiley Men” sequence, but even then the entire thing was over, before it started and the build up wasn’t quite there, so it “comes and goes” fast.

Let’s talk about the accents – they were really all over the place. There are 3 characters with strong accents – Anya Taylor-Joy with a Russian accent that was… ok at best? It wasn’t distractingly bad, just it wasn’t great. Then we have Charlie Heaton and something I like to call “the Kentucky fried accent”, that’s was really one note, but at least the accent seemed to be the same one throughout the movie. But the award for “the most distracting accent I’ve heard in a while” goes to Maisie Williams, and it’s not even close. I swear with her character, I was so distracted trying to place her where she was supposed to be from, it took me out of the film almost every single time she opened her mouth. Believe it or not, throughout this entire film, nobody actually mentions, where her character is supposed to be from. Only thanks to the IMDb’s trivia section, I’ve learned her character was meant to be Scottish. As someone, who lives in the mighty Scotland for almost 10 years now, nah. I am sorry, I actually liked her character (more about that in a second) but Maisie went to some sort of bizarre “Tour De UK”, as at times, she sounded Irish, other times almost Welsh, and some other times English with Scottish influence. I am not a dialect coach by any means, but it’s been a really long time since accent took me out of the movie so much. At least Anya’s and Charlie’s were kind of constant throughout.

It was definitely a shame, because as I have alluded to before, I actually liked Maisie’s character. Wasn’t my favourite, but she was intriguing, I understood her backstory and minus the accent, I thought Maisie did a good job. My two favourites from this film were Blu Hunt and already mentioned Anya Taylor-Joy. Blu managed to be a great lead, I would definitely love to see her in more movies, as I thought she did the best with what she’s been given. But Anya seemed to be the only one, who tried and went for something. She almost seemed to be in a different movie from the rest of the cast, as she struck me as the only one, who kind of played more into the whole “X-Men” aspect of the film (could easily imagine her doing some cool things, as even her superpowers weren’t something generic, we’ve seen thousand times before).

By far the biggest issues with this film is its unevenness, when comes to the narrative. The script just jumps from one cliché element (killed my dad/killed my girlfriend) to another (girl, who acts all cool for school was molested and that’s why she killed 18 men), without having the length, or means to go any deeper beyond that. On paper, it sounds pretty intriguing, a low-budget superhero movie, that focuses on young people, who because of their powers, have been through some stuff and need to work their way through variety of issues. But it didn’t translate well onto the big screen, as it comes across as half-baked something, we’ve seen done before and better. Sometimes (actually more often than not) the simpler the better, is the rule of thumb. Not every film needs to combine/blend a few genres to work, if they just focused on the thriller/horror elements and went with hard R rating, this could have been pretty awesome. Unfortunately, what we’ve gotten was a mix of genres, which should work on their own, but mixed together, they just didn’t.

The one thing that swayed me for slightly higher rating, is how they dealt with one gay couple and didn’t make it into a big thing. I won’t tell who this couple was (even though while watching the film, you will know pretty much straightaway who I am talking about) but all I will say is – bravo. It didn’t feel tacky, forced or “we need to be inclusive for inclusivity sake, we need some gays in here, ASAP!” They dealt with them as with any other couple. Really liked that approach.

Overall, The New Mutants is a strange film. On one hand, after some many delays, some reshoots, plenty of jokes, how this movie will never come out, it’s arrived and I think it surprised me, by simply not being “as bad as we all thought”. Which is not a praise by any means, but it also feels slightly underwhelming. I always say if there is something I really don’t like, is a really average movie. Because I often forget them. Think about it – if film is great, you will remember it. If it’s bad, like honestly really bad, you will also remember it, it will stay with you. But average movies, at least for me, they come and go within a couple of weeks, where after a month or so, I won’t remember most of what happened in them. The New Mutants is definitely prime example – a really average film, that mixes a few different genres and the only thing, that saves it from even lower grade, was the genuinely great way they dealt with the one gay couple this movie had. It’s a shame we need to count that as a plus, as some movies still feel the need to pat themselves on the back for doing the bare minimum, and this movie deals with that like it’s nothing. If there is one element, other movies need to take from this one, please let that be it.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Charlie’s Angels (2019) Review – As Average As It Gets

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This review will be quite hard for me to write, as I will try really hard not to come off as some sort of incel, who hates women in leading roles. That’s a great introduction to a review about a mediocre action movie, isn’t it? Well, believe it or not, but I didn’t want to go there, but the movie really forces your hand, as it lets you know, how men are just the worst by using the worst stereotypes you can think of. Don’t get me wrong, you can use stereotypes to get your message across, but most (if not all) men in this are based in these lazy, Hollywood way of stereotype, where you either have bad men, who are bad, or occasionally some pretty good, nerdy, weak(ish) men. Nothing in between, it’s black or white. And to me, that’s just lazy.

Before actually moving on and reviewing this film, let me make this argument – I know we can’t compare them “like for like”, but take Promising Young Woman (2020, my review here) and Charlie’s Angels. Both of these films are about women, how hard and dangerous it can be (and is, let’s face it), being a woman in “the man’s world”. However, the first mentioned film uses stereotypes to its advantage, it makes you feel uncomfortable, without shouting “girl power, all men are trash!”. And that movie is really out there, really great, uncomfortable, yet much needed watch for many men, to help them understand, how their behaviour might affect all women in their lives. Whereas in Charlie’s Angels, we just see this weird thing, that’s not really about empowerment, more about putting somebody down. What also doesn’t help your case is the director, producer and one of the main actresses, Elizabeth Banks, blaming men and comic book films, as apparently, we hate women led action movies…? You know, except for Wonder Woman (2017), the original (or should I say the first remake) of Charlie’s Angels (2000), the Alien franchise, The Terminator franchise (until they focused on Arnold‘s character only and binned Sarah Connor). I hope I am getting my point across, this film for me could have been a great, light-hearted fun/action film, with women kicking ass. Instead of that, they decided to take it in the “we kick ass BECAUSE we are ladies, take that!” and it just feels really dumb. Even the already mentioned Charlie’s Angels from 2000, wasn’t a masterpiece by any means. But it was really enjoyable, re-watchable movie and what made it enjoyable, was the fact all three main actresses kicked ass and they never focused on this “we kick ass despite and/or because we are women”. They just did, didn’t ask question, weren’t there to explain themselves, because they what they did.

Anyway, sorry for this rant. But it ties in with my overall enjoyment of this. The main trio I thought worked really well. The more I watch Kristen Stewart, the more I admire her for being so versatile. I thought she killed it in this role, as she was the perfect blend of crazy and sensible. It would have been so easy to make her character “dumb, with good intentions”, but luckily, the movie never went overboard with that. I have only seen Naomi Scott in Aladdin (2019, my review here) and Power Rangers (2017) which I have to admit, I didn’t really remember she was in, as that movie just went through my head, that’s how forgettable that was. In here, I thought she did a great job being the “fish out of water” character, where she avoided going into the annoying territory of being too all over the place, and she could handle herself in a fight too, so props to her. As most, I’ve been introduced to Ella Balinska and… damn. She can do it all, she can be funny, tough, emotional, kick ass, she is the complete package. But here’s the thing – I think they complement each other really well, I can’t even say one was my favourite over another, as they all had their roles to play and they played them well, but most importantly, the complimented each other maybe even better than the 2000 movie.

When comes to Elizabeth Banks, I honestly believe she’s much better actress, than director. Especially action in this film was… hard to follow. I am not going to hold it specifically against her, as it wasn’t any worse than your average Hollywood action movie these days, but that’s not really a compliment either. I do think if they really wanted to have a woman director, why not try to get this into capable hands of somebody, who had proven themselves in the past, like Kathryn Bigelow or Patty Jenkins. Especially Kathryn, I would love to see her spin on Charlie’s Angels, especially with this cast, I would actually pay money to see that on the big screen.

As mentioned prior, I do think the biggest problem of this movie is the script. The “message” aside, it’s as basic as it gets, we have this miraculous gadget, that can help people beyond anything ever invented, or can kill everyone, so of course, rich people want to take advantage of it, we need to stop them, Bob’s your uncle. Honestly, even the fake twist halfway through the movie, where the film is desperately trying to convince you that this *something* happening, you know, it’s not happening. Also, thinking back, there was no memorable scene from this movie. Even as unbelievable as it was, the Charlie’s Angels from 2000’s had the big heist from the white safe, where you could see their minds, their craft, their attention to details, it sticks with you, even though you question how possible or not would it be, to pull something like this off. But this movie doesn’t have anything like that. It does have some decent enough set pieces, but I think I won’t remember either one in months’ time, whereas I still remember that white safe heist, and it’s been a lot of years, since I’ve seen that version.

Overall, Charlie’s Angels is a film, that could have been really fun. Instead, it decided to go with this weird “empowerment” route, that’s not really about empowerment at all. And when it failed (and boy, did it fail hard, remember the rule of thumb, where movie has to earn roughly 2.5x its budget, before it becomes profitable) the movie’s director tried to blame everyone, but herself. You might think I am happy this film failed, but actually I am not. Why? Simple – I want movies to succeed. I love movies, so wishing for them to fail, that just doesn’t make sense to me. Plus, I genuinely enjoyed the main trio, so I would want them to have another chance to make a great action movie. But whoever would take on directing this, they need to make a decision – are they making a cheesy, light-hearted action movie? Or will it be more R-rated, “hard ass” action film, with some laughs, but more drama about feminism? Because this movie tried to do kind of both and the result is… let’s just say, not that great. If you were to take this film apart, all the elements are great, but the overall result is far from enjoyable. Which is irritating, as again, the main trio worked really, really well together. It’d be shame not give them one more chance, with better script and a capable director, who knows thing or two about action.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

The Crow (1994) Review – Questions, Cocaine and One Unfortunate Death

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This might be one of my most controversial reviews, so buckle up. I’ve heard a ton about The Crow. I mean who hasn’t at this point? This is definitely one of those films, that is engrained in modern pop culture and vocabulary, but not because of the movie being so great (well, some people seem to really love it) but mostly due to the unfortunate death of Brandon Lee and the fact they had to deal with it during the shooting, as he didn’t shot all of his scenes yet. So, honestly I only have respect for the filmmakers to keep going after such a tragic accident. That being said… the movie is a mess.

Just to clarify it, it has nothing to do with the CGI, that’s used to cover up the fact Brandon wasn’t shooting some scenes. I haven’t actually noticed which scenes he’s not in, so as far I am concerned, that doesn’t account for what I am about to write. The main thing for me was the fact, that the story is all over the place and even though they setup some things (crow brings your soul back, if it’s super sad I guess?) they really leave plenty of things “on the table”. Was he only “back alive” for one day/night? Or until he has his revenge? Why him and not her (his girlfriend) too? Her soul would presumable be also unrest and sad…? How does he know that is time to go back, once he has had his revenge…? Did he know he needed to, or did he decide there was nothing for him on Earth, since his true love is still dead?

At this point, I need to quote a piece of trivia directly from IMDb, that once I’ve read it (after this movie was over, that was the first thing I did, as that’s what I usually do, read about movies I’ve just seen. Yes, I am very fun at parties, thanks for asking :-)) it cleared pretty much everything for me:

According to Empire Magazine, cocaine abuse was rampant on set, with cameramen shooting whilst high, crew going into the toilets to snort between shots, and people cutting around. One crew member recalls hearing the sound of a sneeze on the set one day, and an annoyed Brandon Lee quipping “someone just lost $50.”

Source: IMDb.com

Plenty of times, when movie reviewers are trying to be funny, they always go for some sort of “did they make this while doing all the drugs?” joke(s), as those work and are fitting surprising amount of times. But I swear I don’t recall a movie, where it was so obvious plenty of people involved must have definitely been on something. The Crow is just so all over the place, so chaotic, it’s trying to be so dark, edgy, poetic, that it comes across like a really cringey friend, who even though is almost 28 years old, is still convinced being EMO, anti-everything popular and listening to the bands “they’ve definitely heard first, before they became popular” is the way. It’s not.

And that is the thing – this movie might have just missed me. Had I seen it when I was around 14/15 years old, I would have probably adored this film. Part of me kind of understands, why this film has such a cult status even today. It almost seems sacrilegious to say anything bad about this film or its soundtrack. Well, I will have to, as no matter how hard I tried, I never got into this film.

I strongly believe if it was not for that tragic death of Brandon Lee, this movie would not have pretty high 7.6/10 rating on IMDb. I honestly believe this would have been one of those films, we would see articles about, how it’s underrated and how it’s worth another re-watch, because it’s secretly genius and we all have missed it, when we seen it the first time. But we didn’t. The Crow gave me something, that if done properly (maybe, just maybe, minus all the cocaine, slightly better CGI, explain the rules more, establish the world properly, etc.) today, it might just be pretty great. Come to think of it, I could easily see this as a really dark HBO or even Netflix show, and what’s more, I would kind of welcome it. If you ever read my opinions on remakes/reboots, you know I am not a fan, if they are remaking/rebooting movies, that worked in the past, just to make some extra cash on that sweet sweet nostalgia we all seem to be craving (weird, it’s almost like the entire world is slowly collapsing, why is it we want to go back so much…? Such a mystery…). Instead of that, I am all for taking movies, that had some potential, but for variety of reasons (different era, new way of thinking about the story/characters, better/cheaper CGI, hopefully less cocaine available on movie sets etc.) failed to capture us. I honestly think this might work, because I could see glimpses of potential. And I can’t deny it influenced the gothic, dark aesthetic for some time to come. But everything around it just didn’t work for me.

Overall, The Crow is one of those cult movies, that just simply missed me and I don’t understand the love for it, except for the very obvious reason of death of Brandon Lee. It almost feels like people who love this movie, love it either because they grew up watching it, so they understand it’s not that great, but can’t help themselves (which is fine, I also have movies like that, where I objectively know they are bad, but I just love them), they haven’t re-watched it recently, so they still remember it fondly from “back then”, or they are afraid to rate it any lower, because of Brandon’s death. And I hope that’s not the case, because we should be able to separate those two things. Let me put it like this – The Dark Knight (2008) is an excellent movie. And when I first watched it, in the cinemas, knowing about Heath Ledger‘s unfortunate passing, I also wondered whether I might have overhyped my enjoyment of the film, because I really liked the guy and enjoyed his performance. But every since that, I’ve re-watched it several times and the movie just works on several layers, and Heath’s performance is just a cherry on that cake. Whereas The Crow, I am sorry, but almost nothing worked for me here. The lack of any direction, cohesion… I don’t think I will re-visit this film any time soon, if ever.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

The Angry Birds Movie (2016) Review – Birds, Pigs & Boredom

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Ok, let’s get something straight – did I expect any kind of masterpiece from a movie, that’s based on one of the most known mobile games in recent years? No, I didn’t. But with such a stellar cast of funny people, I expected to at least be mildly amused and what really happened was… I was bored. It’s really strange, when a film called The Angry Birds Movie doesn’t really make you angry, instead of that, you just feel bored and empty inside, wondering how come this movie isn’t funny. And then you also wonder “wait, is the end actually pretty decent, or is that because I know, it’s almost over”?

I genuinely believe the main issue with this film was the script. Not necessarily the jokes (even though you could probably count the number of times you’ve laughed on fingers of one arm man, who somehow lost most of his fingers on his still attached hand) but mainly the “story”, if that’s how you want to call it, didn’t work for me, as it was way too bloated. I understand they were trying to give these birds some characters. After all, you need something to make them standout, as the game couldn’t be any simpler (do you remember playing Angry Birds? Exactly, that wasn’t a game you’d remember because of great characters) but that also means there are no characters to attach ourselves to. And I think they went overboard on the main bird’s (simply called ‘Red’, because why the fuck not, creativity is dead anyway) backstory – we get it, everything wrong that could have happened to him, did happen to him, and that’s why he’s the way he is. But that could’ve been a montage, possibly funnier one that what’ve gotten, as opposed spending almost 40 minutes mainly on him and his struggles as the main story. It takes a lot before the pigs (aka the main villain(s) of the movie) even show up to get this movie rolling.

That was something I was fascinated by and don’t remember last time this happened to me – the movie did get slightly better, when the pigs arrived. And the last 20 minutes, when it actually goes and resembles the game (spoiler, but not really, when the birds are attacking the pigs, to get their eggs back) the action sequences were actually pretty cool and fun to look at. Unfortunately, it takes you most of the movie to get there. Which wouldn’t be that big of a problem, if the film gave us something really funny, intriguing or interesting to look at in the meantime. But it didn’t. Just your run of the mill dialogues, “jokes”, nothing you wouldn’t see thousands times before, except this time, it’s birds!

Here’s the thing – I honestly don’t want every animated movie to have “Pixar level quality”. No, I am more than happy to kick back, relax and just laugh and have a good time with animated movies, that don’t really have that much going on underneath the surface, but they are funny and you enjoy the ride (latest example would be The Emperor’s New Groove (2000, my review here). I knew this will probably not blow my socks off by any means, but I was bracing myself to at least have a good time. Even if it was dumb good time, it would still count as something. But what I have gotten was just a mess, that might have worked as 30 minute demo reel, rather than full on feature film, as (surprise, surprise) film based on app does not have too much meat on those bones. But, the movie made money and that is just the theatrical run, I would not be surprised if the total sales with toys, merchandise etc., grossed over one billion dollars easily, as I have seen plush toys, mugs, you know the drill. That’s probably why we’ve gotten The Angry Birds Movie 2 (2019). Yep, there is a second one and knowing myself, the curiosity will get the better out of me and I will end up watching it, just to see whether they improved it, or not.

Overall, The Angry Birds Movie will probably be a good time for your kids, if you have some. I can easily imagine them enjoying this movie, especially if they grew up playing the game. But when comes to entertaining adults… I would doubt most adults would have fun watching this film. And given the fact we have so many other animated movies to choose from, I would rather sling shot your way the further from this the better. Or watch just the last 20/30 minutes or so, as again, the action sequences are (surprisingly) entertaining enough. Everything else is just a boring waste of ones and zeros, that created this film.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke