Don’t Breathe is one of those movies you hear about if you are in any way, shape or form into films at all. What I’ve heard most about this film was that it contains a disturbing turkey baster scene. So even before going in, I knew I was in for a ride. And for the first hour, I enjoyed… well, not enjoyed myself, but I liked what the film was going for. And then the last 30 minutes happened. I know “movie’s gotta movie”, but almost every single decision made by all the characters in the movie towards the end were just… so dumb, it pulled me out of it.

But let’s start from the beginning. I liked what this film was going for, having characters who are so flawed you can’t help but almost stay impartial on who to root for or, in this case, not. I always admire people who don’t see the world in black and white, and I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say there are no good people here, just a variety of shades of grey and black. Even the “best” character in this film (I am guessing it would go to Jane Levy almost by default) makes some questionable choices throughout the film. And I didn’t mind that at all, if anything, that allowed me to be a spectator in this twisted game of blind man’s bluff (is that really how that game is called in English? You learn something new every day) with a literal blind man. Well, a literal actor who pretends to be blind.

That transitions us well into talking about Stephen Lang. First of all, this man is buffed. Like his muscles have muscles. He spends his free time working out, and by the looks of him, he’s got PLENTY of free time because damn. On a more serious note, props to him for committing to this role by wearing contact lenses that restricted his vision. And his buff persona worked so well for this film, always looming around you were never sure where he might appear next. I thought he’s done a great job playing such an evil character.

I don’t think there was any “single” decision that somehow started to pull me out of the film; it was one blow after another. But it’s hard to write about those decisions without discussing some heavy spoilers, so…

Beware, SPOILERS are coming!

My main issue and where the film started to fall apart was when characters (pretty much all of them at some point) had the chance to either escape or kill the other party and didn’t do it. And the fact some characters have survived way too much.

Let’s start with the “kill the other party” side. Look, I understand Stephen Lang is a big dude, but the movie made him blind. And not “superhero” blind, where somehow he could sense more than other people. So I can understand he might scratch that, is smarter than the robbers (because they are simply a bunch of idiots), but he still should be easier for them to get rid of. Either to lose him (read, escape) or once they literally had him captured and chained up, not to chance it (they’ve already gone too far at that point) and to finish him off. Honestly, even before that, once his character learns there was more than one person in his home, it felt like especially two people should be able to “trick” him, no matter how buff he is. But since we have to have a feature-length film and them killing him would end it 20 minutes too short, they don’t do it, and he gets loose.

And the same goes for Stephen’s character called “The Blind Man” in the credits. He’s got no problem killing off the strongest out of their group, but he struggles (several times!) with somebody who is not exactly his match. And once they get down and it seems like he (The Blind Man) will kill Dylan Minnette‘s character with gardening scissors, he somehow stabs the other dead body! Which wouldn’t be that tough to swallow had we not seen him being more than aware of his surroundings very well. It seemed like the movie wanted to have its cake and eat it too with his character. You can’t make him this buff ex-soldier who kills one guy almost instantly to not only struggle against the second one but then to miss his body once he’s hovering above him!

The other “survives way too much” problem, yes, it’s about Dylan’s character again. The beating, falling, this guy survived almost everything. I half expected for him to survive even the bullets towards the end. Luckily, that wasn’t the case, but really, he should have been dead long before that.

The infamous turkey baster scene… Sure, it’s creepy and unsettling. But to be honest, I expected, I don’t know more? Maybe this is more of a comment on me rather than the film, but after everything I’ve heard about it, how people “hyped” it out as something so gross they couldn’t watch it… I don’t know. Unsettling? Yes. Tough to watch? Also yes? Will that scene stay with me for a while? Not really.

What hurts more than anything is I enjoyed everything about this film before the last 30 minutes. Because I like it when movies don’t have “heroes vs villains”. Where every character is somewhat of a twisted one, and it’s only up to you whether you will root for the “lesser of two evils” or whether you can sit back and be invested in the story without necessarily rooting for either character. Quite honestly, that was me. Once I’ve realised what was up with our “friendly buffed blind man”, that’s when I realised this movie has nobody to root for here, and it’s a good thing. I was admiring the balls on this film for doing that; it would have been so easy to make him the most sympathetic character, where we could justify him killing the intruders. But the film never takes the obvious route. It’s a shame nobody managed to step back while shooting this film and question whether the characters’ decisions towards the end made any sense.

Overall, Don’t Breathe is a movie that will stay with me for sure. Unfortunately, not for the reasons I thought (turkey baster!) but for remembering that there was a superb horror film here until the already dumb characters (and I am mainly talking about the robbers/intruders here) decided to act even dumber. I would still recommend this film but maybe make sure it’s nowhere near Thanksgiving. Otherwise, your turkey might be dry as fuck that year. Sure, that scene didn’t stun me as much as I thought, but I can still see some people avoiding turkey basters for a while.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke