I have always liked animated movies, but for whatever reason, Bolt has been escaping me ever since it came out. I’ve always (roughly) known what it was about (a superhero dog), but I have never seen it. That is until a few weeks ago, thanks to Disney+ (say what you want about Disney, but it’s handy to have all their films available on one platform), I was finally able to strike another animated movie out of my “never seen” list. And for what it’s worth, I wouldn’t have missed out on much had this film stayed there for a bit longer.

I loved the first 15 minutes or so of Bolt. Superhero dog, who saves the world? Sure, it’s an animated movie anything goes. And that action sequence was quick, energetic, funny. I thought to myself that I was in for a great ride. I was on board. Then, the “twist” happened. I didn’t know the film was about a dog who only acts as a superhero, not knowing he’s just a regular dog and everything around him is a movie set, almost a dog version of Truman Show (1998) if you wish. And I thought, ok, let’s see where this goes, it could be fun. But where Truman Show managed to say something about our culture managed to dig deep into existence and all that fun stuff, this film just went with the most basic plotline. That could have been still fun. After all, I wasn’t expecting this film to deal with existentialism or anything like that. But it got stale pretty quickly, and the movie got boring.

The biggest issue I had with this film was Bolt teasing the audience with “what could have been”, with the pretty fun opening action sequence, and then the film slows down. Because we need to watch Bolt trying to deal with the fact, he doesn’t have any superpowers. And that goes on for most of the movie. Until the very end, where he, of course, rescues his owner, proving you don’t need superpowers to be a hero. It’s a thoughtful lesson, but the movie takes too long to get there.

Plus, I don’t know about you, but I usually like my animated comedy movies (and Bolt is classed under Animation/Adventure/Comedy) to be funny. And this movie is, for the most part, a miss rather than a hit in the comedy department. Because believe it or not, there are only so many times you can laugh at “he believes he’s got powers, when truly he’s just a regular dog.”

Bolt might also have the weirdest “title” I’d ever given to a film – a movie with the most “I know this voice!” actors in one place. Most of the voice actors here are pretty famous people, don’t get me wrong. But for one reason or another, I could not have placed either voice to an actor. So that was yet another weird thing about this film. I’d spend most of the time going “I know this voice from someplace!” while browsing through IMDb, looking up who is voicing this and that character.

Everything about this film felt a bit weird – from the comedy to the story that, yet again I have to repeat, could have been interesting. I honestly wish we would have stayed in that fictitious world. In a world where a dog with superpowers exists. As yes, it would be a bit silly, but also at least interesting enough to watch. Instead, we get this blend of strangeness that you won’t remember in a week.

Overall, Bolt is as average as it gets. What starts as a funny, intriguing animated comedy quickly becomes a less fun, much less interesting story about a dog who needs to learn and deal with the fact he has no powers. And try to get reunited with his owner in this process. Would I recommend this film? Quite honestly? In a sea of movies and TV shows to watch, no, I would not recommend it. Bolt is but a drop in the ocean, which gets lost easily, makes no real impact, and you won’t remember it the following week.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

I know this is something I say a lot. But I don’t think it ever fit as much as with this film. Jumper could be the poster child of how it looks to have a truly great idea executed in such an average way. You almost get unreasonably angry. Because you can easily imagine a much better story with such an intriguing premise, but most importantly, different actors in it. I hate to do this, but our protagonists were either misdirected or not cast well.

Jumper is a film based on a really simple yet great premise – some people can teleport and live among us. From here, you can take this into a variety of ways. You can develop a world with its own rules (aka John Wick franchise), you can play into the “Gods live among us” thing that became popular within our current pop culture, you can take it philosophical… Or, you can make an action movie about a guy who does whatever he wants, and he’s a dick about it. He behaves like a dick even to people who he supposedly cares about. Because if you strip it down, that’s what this film is.

Don’t get me wrong this movie isn’t bad by any means. Some action sequences are shot entertainingly, the film is under 90 minutes, so it never manages to bore you, and it’s full of young, sexy people. They, unfortunately, aren’t great in this and have no chemistry. Yes, I am talking about the leading duo, Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson. Let me start with Hayden. Because if there is somebody, who might be the unluckiest guy in the history of Hollywood, who still has a career, it’s him. Most people think he can’t act because of his performance in the Star Wars prequels. And then others have seen him in Shattered Glass (2003) or Awake (2007), where he proves there is something in him. If you haven’t seen either of these films, I strongly recommend both, because they convinced me that he’s more than capable of acting. Unfortunately, in Jumper he isn’t great. I understand part of it is the unlikability of the character he’s portraying, but he can’t sell it. He comes across as obnoxious rather than the anti-hero we should be rooting for. As for Rachel Bilson… I have never watched any of her TV shows. So I am not familiar enough with her to judge whether or not she is a great actress, but in this, she wasn’t. I wouldn’t be surprised if the material wouldn’t allow her to do her best work, but this was rough to watch. And there was zero chemistry in between them.

The whole movie relies on you believing that they were “meant to be” ever since they were children. But if the actors can’t sell it on the screen, the audience won’t buy it. At least, I didn’t. As to the other actors, Samuel L. Jackson did his standard performance, that was fine. Nothing special, but nothing that would stand out either. Jamie Bell could have been an interesting character, had we known a bit more about him, or had he gotten more screen time. And don’t let yourself be fooled by seeing names like Diane Lane or Kristen Stewart. Diane has about five minutes of screen time, and Kristen about two minutes.

The main thing about this idea was the unfulfilled potential. And again, I know I keep mentioning this point a lot too, but this might have been too short. I can easily see this being turned into a TV show, with a better cast, better world-building, establishing rules and then we might have something on our hands that works. Think about it – teleporting is easily one of the most “wished for” superpowers. Every time there is a debate about “what’s the best superpower?” teleporting cracks the top 3 on most people’s list. And it is easy to see why, being able to go anywhere, at any time. Saving so much time, not being stuck in traffic, being able to go on holiday at second notice, seeing your relatives or friends literally any time you want. Anybody can imagine what they would do with it. And here lies this film’s issue – since this is such a simple yet intriguing concept, we all have imagined what we would have done, having this ability. And I don’t know about you, but this film barely scratched the surface.

Overall, Jumper almost felt lazy. It feels like your generic Hollywood blockbuster, where somebody came up with a great idea, but everything else was done “on autopilot”. From casting main characters with no chemistry, to barely defining the rules, establishing any world-building… This entire film feels like it’s been done with most people half asleep. It ticks almost every single box, so it doesn’t bore you, and when the movie is over, you feel like there was something great hidden there, but it leaves you wanting more. But not in the good sense, where you are craving for a sequel. More like in “I need to know more about this world, how it works, some history behind it, just give me anything.” This is where Jumper failed to deliver.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Before getting into this review properly, I need to start with a bit of a story from my life, that should shed some light on why this movie (despite all its flaws) is one of my favourite action movies of the late 2000’s.

When I was in high school, I was pretty decent student, but math wasn’t my favourite subject in the world, to put it mildly. And there was a real chance that I’d fail my math class in my first half of the school year (in the Czech Republic, high school works in a way that you’d get 2 result cards, one at the end of January and one at the end of June, and if you fail one subject both times, you need to repeat the entire year) so you can imagine it was fairly stressful time for me. So I’ve stayed up and studied for this really important test, and the night before, couldn’t even sleep for the most of the night, that’s how nervous/terrified I was. After the test was done, we’ve had a decently “off” day, as Xmas was approaching, so we didn’t really do much rest of the day, as the other subjects were already finished for that half a year, so we’d watch movies in school. And somebody brought this one.

I remember thinking, even though I have loved movies even back then, then I’ll just try to take a nap, as after the test, the nervousness finally disappeared and the restless night caught up with me. But the moment this movie started, it pulled me in and pumped my veins full of adrenaline, that lasted to the very end of it. I’ve felt like I’ve just had 6 coffees poured straight into my veins and the rest of the day I’ve actually felt amazing. Because that’s what this movie is.

Death Race should be judged by what it is trying to be – an adrenaline ride, that doesn’t take itself seriously at all, with some pretty great actions sequences, where the destruction of a particular large vehicle is just breathtaking, especially the first time I’ve watched it. That was my very first experience with this movie and even though it might sound weird, in relation to this movie, this is why I love movies. They have the power to take you and transport you some place else, give you the spark you might need. I don’t think I had a similar situation happen to me prior, or since that time, definitely not to that extent.

Couple of days ago, I’ve decided to re-watch this, as I haven’t seen it in about 10 years, and I still had a blast. It wasn’t anywhere near as “meaningful” of an experience as it was to me that one December day, but I still had fun with this movie, as I really respect when film don’t pretend to be something they are not. Death Race knows this movie is not an Oscar winning drama, or some sort of high art. It knows this movie is just a pure, simple “dumb” (in the best possible sense of that word) fun, that if you let it, it will entertain you too. Plus, where else you’ll see 3-times Oscar nominee Joan Allen go up against Jason Statham? Exactly, that’s what I thought 😉

Realistically, I could see this movie is not that great, but honestly…? I can’t judge this film harshly, if only because of that one day, it helped me get through something that wasn’t easy and sometimes that’s all it takes.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke