It’s been a while since I reviewed an older movie, let alone an older horror movie. And since we are close to finishing the Spooky Season (aka the month of October), I decided to finally start one of the last horror franchises I haven’t seen yet, Hellraiser. Despite its age, I didn’t know much about the movie except for the iconic character of Pinhead. But I didn’t know anything else, the crux of the story (or the franchise); I didn’t know how beloved or not the sequels were; I just knew it’s one of those with many, many, many sequels (nine sequels, one remake so with this original film, it accounts for 11 movies in total). As I write this review, I just finished the fourth one (Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996)), but I won’t review them all here, as this franchise already managed to devolve into a mess. An enjoyable, grizzly, R-rated mess, but still a mess; however, the original is worth talking about.

The biggest surprise of the original Hellraiser was the absence of Pinhead. I don’t think this is a spoiler, and he is definitely in this movie, but he isn’t the villain, at least not in this movie. He is treated almost like the shark from Jaws (1975) – you are aware of his existence, and he pops up here and there with his Cenobites, but this movie isn’t as much about him as it is about this family, who seems all happy and fine, on the surface, but there are secrets. Especially with Julia, played by Clare Higgins, we are in for a ride. So, from the start, I was shocked by the unexpected, but I liked this element, focusing more on the characters, building up the story and why we should be afraid of Cenobites.

The film does that well; I liked following this family and loved all the imagery. Speaking of that, I must discuss the main crux of this franchise – the body horror element. I was shocked how a movie from 1987 with all its practical effects can still be as effective now when it’s soon to be 40 years old. The Hellraiser franchise helped define and make this genre more mainstream, without any doubt and therefore, unlike other horror films, this won’t play well with many people. Your tolerance must be high towards hooks pierced through various parts of the human body, tearing it apart, or this near-dead person who slowly grows back, and we can see all the veins, flesh, blood… I am not squeamish, so I didn’t mind all that stuff, and I admired how it still looks great even today, but I totally get if this movie is too graphic for others. If you can watch slashers but don’t like anything more detailed, gory and over-the-top, maybe skip this franchise.

I will admit I don’t think this movie is perfect. I thought there were parts that could have been potentially cut (especially in the middle), and some performances can be a bit over-the-top (I am not going to name any names, Sean Chapman knows who he is). But here is the thing about that, it’s all so delightfully different. Hellraiser is one of those movies that can be described as “vibe”. You can tear it down here and there for some details, but if you accept the atmosphere and the world they built and “just go with it”, you will have a blast. And towards the end, you won’t care about those tiny blemishes; you are fully in this metal, over-the-top body horror movie that doesn’t pull any punches. At least, that was my experience. For the majority of this movie, my rating was around 4*, but the longer the movie played, the more I found myself captured by this world and its unique atmosphere. This is why I love horror movies; they don’t have to be perfect for you to love them; they should make you believe in their world and convince you why their “big bad” is the biggest and baddest of them all. Hellraiser succeeded in this category, as well as its sequel, Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988). I am not sure whether I would recommend the sequels (at least the two I have seen), but I know my completionist ass will finish this franchise one way or another.

Overall, Hellraiser is a perfectly imperfect movie you will love if you let the movie take you on a wild journey. I admire how, in 1987, when the world was already familiar with Jason, Freddy and Michael, Clive Barker showed up, said: “Hold my meat hooks”, and delivered a character who is as iconic as the most iconic horror movie villains. I would recommend this movie, as long as your stomach can digest body horror pushed to the limits (of what 1987 allowed). Don’t sleep on this movie for as long as I have.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

This movie and I had a weird “journey”. When I first saw the trailers for The Creator, I wasn’t convinced, but the more time I saw the trailer (as it was running in front of most of the films I watched in the cinema), the more I became convinced this could actually turn out decently. So, by the time I was seated, I had some expectations. And the movie delivered, but also did not deliver…? Yeah, this will be a weird review, but bear with me.

Let me start with the positives first. The Creator might be the best-looking movie of 2023, especially when we consider the budget of “only” $80 million. I loved the rough, not clean aesthetic of this “future world” whilst all the robots and locations looked real. I had no problem believing this was the future, and I don’t think there was ever something (effects-wise) that would pull me out. If there were one “area” The Creator won, it would be the CGI, and big companies like Disney have no excuse for producing $150 – $200 million movies that look messy, unfinished and sloppy.

The other thing I must compliment is the performances, or, better said, the chemistry between John David Washington and Madeleine Yuna Voyles. Especially Madeleine as Alphie gives a great performance, given she is a literal child and this was her first role ever, she did spectacularly. John David had a challenging role, where despite him being a lead actor, he wasn’t given much and had to rely on Madeleine and their chemistry. Had that not worked, this movie would have fallen apart, but luckily, it worked. You will buy their “dad/daughter” relationship, where they struggle at first, but eventually, you believe they became close, and John’s character grew because of Alphie.

Now, where this film lost me was everything else. There is a saying in Hollywood that goes: “If you want to steal, steal from the best.” This refers to screenwriters stealing ideas for movies and putting their own spin on them. Unfortunately, it seems like Gareth Edwards (the director and co-writer of this movie) and Chris Weitz only heard that saying without the addendum of adding your own spin on things, as this movie presents you with ideas that have been explored in a plethora of different and much better movies. From Blade Runner (1982, my review here) to The Terminator (1984) and many more, I am not exaggerating when I say there is nothing original about this film or in it. Every idea has been explored much better and more deeply in different movies. Every theme is just a surface-level idea that, yet again, you would have seen executed a hundred different times across many other films and shows. I understand it’s hard to come up with something new, but unfortunately, if you make a sci-fi film and stake your entire plot on these big ideas and neither goes deep enough, you are in trouble.

You need to connect with those themes to be impacted in any way, shape or form by what is happening on the screen, and since there was nothing new to grab onto and everything this movie wants to talk about (sentient AI, the idea of rights for the AI, how the AI can be used for or against us), I have seen done before countless of times, everything that happened in this film didn’t resonate with me at all. Every major scene, every “big” death that should have impacted me simply did not do anything for me. That is why this feels like the most “meh” movie of this year, and if it weren’t for the stunning CGI and good chemistry between the two lead actors, I would have rated it much lower.

Hopefully, this explains the title of this review to you, as The Creator is not a bad movie per se. It has a decent cast, but except for the titular duo, everyone feels wasted in their roles. I could possibly make the argument for Ken Watanabe having at least some character development, but that is about it. Allison Janney gets nothing to do. And The Creator joins the ranks of movies like Don’t Worry Darling (2022, my review here) for having Gemma Chan in the movie and wasting her completely. On top of all that, every idea or theme seems shallow, barely scraping the surface level and almost lazy. In a weird way, it feels like the more detail and care that went into the CGI to make this film look stunning, the less amount went into the story elements and trying to say something new. That doesn’t make The Creator a bad movie; it just makes it… well, a movie. It makes it one of many movies that will be forgotten, only to be “rediscovered” 10/15 years from now, with clickbait articles titled: “How was this hidden gem ignored when it came out! You need to watch it right now!”

Overall, The Creator wants to be an epic sci-fi with deep themes and messages about AI. What this film ended up being was a stunningly looking sci-fi whose themes are as shallow as a kiddie pool. Every idea this film presents has been done better, and you can see every story element or twist coming a mile away. If you want a visual feast where you can “switch your brain off”; I would recommend this movie cautiously. If you are looking for something more challenging or want to watch a great sci-fi, this ain’t it, chief. This movie is as average as it gets, and if it weren’t for the CGI, my rating would have been lower.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

The third movie in “Kenneth Branagh can make any movie he wants, so he makes Poirot films” series, and it seems this might be the best one yet. Whether you like his movies or not (and I liked both previous ones, yes, even the “horrible” Death on the Nile (2022, my review here)), one thing is for certain; they each have their unique feel and impressive casting. A Haunting in Venice also adds another, less seen element into the Poirot mix – horror. Yes, it’s PG-13 horror, so don’t expect anything too edgy, but it is still a good way of keeping this “franchise” fresh.

It was the horror approach with the practical setting (the movie was mostly shot in Italy, which was a nice change after the CGI fest of the previous movie) which uplifted A Haunting in Venice and made it stand out from the previous two films. Let’s talk about the setting first, as I have no notes about that aspect. It was lovely and seemed “old-fashioned” enough (the movie takes place in the 1950s) that it worked and transported me into old Italy right after the Second World War. I also liked the setting of the building where the majority of the film took place, as it worked for the spooky stuff; it was big enough where we could conveniently lose some people but not large enough that you’d get lost and wonder where we were.

The horror theme worked as well as it was allowed to work. As mentioned above, this movie is PG-13, which makes it a very mild “horror”. You can almost think of this movie as an entry barrier to horror films, where it’s perfectly safe for most people to watch it without worrying whether they will be able to fall asleep afterwards. Therefore, if we judge by that standard, it’s fine. But part of me almost wanted them to go “harder” and turn this movie into a full-blown horror. I am not talking about slasher, but I believe one thing that could keep this franchise going for a couple of more movies is to try to play around with different genres. It was also intriguing to watch someone as logical as Poirot question himself despite you, as the audience, knowing there must be something else in play. And there is a shot towards the end that leaves it open-ended whether there might or might not be something more to these ghosts that are supposedly among us…

Regarding the cast, I thought everyone did well. Kenneth’s take on Poirot is more whimsical, but I always found him delightful. I was shocked by how much I enjoyed Tina Fey‘s performance in this movie. She has been such a strong comedic presence for the past two decades; I was slightly worried about her being “disruptive”, but she worked perfectly with Kenneth, and their back-and-forth banter was amusing, and it never felt forced. Also, this is the first-ever non-comedic role for Tina Fey in her almost 20-year career. Yep, until now, she hasn’t appeared in a movie or a TV show that wasn’t labelled “comedy”. I also need to highlight Jude Hill, who yet again acts under Kenneth’s direction and plays Jamie Dornan‘s son. They must have enjoyed their time on the set of Belfast (2021, my review here), and it translates into this movie as well because both performers did a great job, and especially Jude nailed his role. I hope he has a long career in front of him.

My only real issue with the movie was the non-commitment to the horror genre. I understand you must sell tickets, so Poirot can never be rated R, but it would be nice to push it even further. Especially with a great whodunit mystery, where we talk about a couple of murders and ghosts, the horror genre feels more natural than ever, and all we get are a few pretty predictable jump scares. But other than that, I can’t fault this movie. It’s possible I might rate it slightly higher on a future rewatch, as I did enjoy myself with this cast and setting, and I hope Kenneth has a few more Poirot films in him. As long as he is having fun and trying new things whilst introducing this character to a new audience, I will be there, seated.

Overall, A Haunting in Venice is a great movie that takes the Poirot we know and puts him up against ghosts and, to a degree, himself. He needs to figure out not only “whodunit”, but his core beliefs also get questioned in this slightly spooky continuation of this detective franchise. I liked the cast, the camera work and the setting; I just wished they would commit more to the horror genre. But, if you have a chance to watch this movie, I think you should do it. This film is definitely the best Poirot movie we’ve gotten from Branagh yet, and I hope the next one (if there is a next one) will be even better.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

If there was a movie I felt indifferent about this year, Dumb Money was possibly it. Yes, the trailer looked fun; I like every actor in this film, and I was aware of the GME situation, although I didn’t participate in it. However, I felt like it was a bit too soon to make a movie about it, given how “fresh” this story was. And after watching this in the cinema, that would be my only big complaint.

Where Dumb Money shines is in understanding the Gen-Z meme generation. It’s hyper-edited, Cardi B’s WAP plays many times, and the word “retard” is used frequently… Welcome to the Internet in the year 2021, but honestly, not much has changed since. This story focuses mainly on the “leader” of this GME uprising of young people, who pretty much decided to beat the Wall Street guys at their own game. Now, I won’t pretend I still understand every single detail of what exactly happens on the actual stock market, but the movie explains it clearly enough that you won’t ever feel “left behind”. I would compare this movie to The Big Short (2015), except this movie is 10x wilder.

By embracing this meme generation, the movie precisely did what the people on Reddit did at the time – embraced their shortcomings and wore them proudly as badges of honour instead of pretending to be something they were not. You will see many comments and memes about “apes together strong”, and they call each other “retards”, but in this movie’s context, it’s almost a term of endearment rather than an insult. They knew that once this story got big, the mainstream media already had an idea of who your “stereotypical Redditor” was, so they jumped ahead and incorporated chicken tendies, making themselves into a laughing stock whilst making GameStop one of the hottest companies, at least for a while.

What I liked was that they didn’t just focus on Paul Dano‘s character. The writers smartly gave us several different people in different stages of their lives from many backgrounds. It’s easy to root for someone like America Ferrera‘s character, as we all know a mom who is just like her. No matter what she does, she somehow is still in the shit, but she never gives up and continues fighting. Her story arc was also the most heartbreaking, without going into spoilers. I also liked Myha’la Herrold with Talia Ryder, as their relationship was cute, and they provided the window to the core “audience” of Keith’s streams and how influential he became. I can’t forget to mention Anthony Ramos, whom I like more every time I see him in a new film. I can see him becoming a great leading actor at some point; he definitely has the charisma.

As I alluded to, the only problem I had with this movie was that it felt “too instant”. This entire GME saga (at least the portion this movie covers) only happened in 2021. I get that you need to strike the iron while it’s hot and want to make a statement about big corporations against the little guy, with a “little” thing called COVID-19 thrown into the mix, but… I can’t help but think this is too early. Even The Big Short had at least 6/7 years, where we knew much more details about what happened. Plus, the real-life protagonist kind of disappeared, at least from the online world. Wouldn’t it be better to wait a few more years, catch up with him and incorporate that into the movie? Because when the movie is over, it weirdly feels incomplete. Mostly due to the big corporations happily chugging on like nothing happened, but still…

But that is my only “real” complaint. I thought this film was much better than it had any right to be due to the people behind it understanding this generation the movie is about, the Internet culture, and focusing on several people from very different backgrounds living different lives, but ultimately, having the same goal – getting a bit more of that pie that seems to be shrinking every year for us, and each year, the rich get an even bigger slice. Somehow, this film makes that point without coming across as preachy, and I think that should be applauded.

Overall, Dumb Money surprised me on every level. From the great casting to the story and how they told it, I had a fun time. Sure, at times, this movie can be “too much”, but guess what? The world is too much; people nowadays have to deal with so much on their plates, and it reflects everything accurately. I wonder how this movie will age and whether we will look back at it in about ten years and cherish it as a time capsule of the “COVID-19 times” mixed with the resilience of the common people. I would recommend this film, even though I still think it’s a bit too soon for it to exist.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

If you scroll through my ratings (for example, on my Letterboxd account) and reviews, you will see I have an affinity for action movies. I grew up on 80s and 90s action, and for the longest time, my favourite actors were Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis. This fact alone should tell how much I adored (and still adore) the action genre, and I might or might not have rated a few of their movies much higher than they deserve. The Expendables franchise therefore meant a lot to me as I loved the concept of the “old guard” coming together and kicking some ass. But, this one… Where shall we start with this movie?

Let’s talk about the title first. It’s The Expendables 4. I implore all the studios who do this nonsense, for the love of anything and everything that’s holy to you (read: money), stop doing this shit. Expend4bles is such a cringy title. It may look cool on a poster, but if you talk about this movie to anyone, you will never say this title. Because it doesn’t roll off the tongue, it is simply The Expendables 4.

You might think to yourself: “That’s weird; he usually doesn’t discuss movie titles.” And that’s true, but in this instance, it’s almost like the title foreshadows the quality of this film. Or, as it happens in this case, the lack thereof. I went to the cinema ready to forgive the mediocre The Expendables 3 (2014) and with some hopes that this fourth movie will bring this franchise to some level of quality. I know, how naive of me, but what can I tell you… I love action films. And this movie kicked me in the balls and pissed on me while I was down. That’s how it felt. And if you think I am being too gross, just wait until you hear some of the dialogue in this film!

I don’t mind crude dialogue; I am not a shy sunflower who needs to be shielded from “foul language”. Therefore, I don’t mind swearing in movies. Was I expecting dialogues about golden showers in this film? I would be lying if I answered ‘yes’ to that prompt. And yet, we have them here as Jacob Scipio, who is supposed to be the son of Antonio Banderas‘ character from the previous movie, was given the ungrateful role of being a quippy young guy who only seems to be there to bring down the age average of the group under 60. Almost everything his character says in this film feels like he is in an entirely different movie. I purposely write “his character” as I don’t want to blame the actor; I think he did everything he was asked to do to the best of his abilities. I think that’s entirely the script’s issue. Speaking of those issues, let’s talk about Megan Fox.

Talk about a character that was written to fail. Megan gets introduced as someone in the midst of a heated argument with her boyfriend (Jason Statham) and comes across as bitchy, unlikable and hard to root for. Again, I need to make the distinction here; I am not talking about Megan Fox, the actress. I am talking only about her character, Gina. Gina was (I guess) potentially supposed to be the “leader” of this franchise moving forward. But since she is written by three men who don’t know how to write her, the audience is against her from the second she appears on the screen. What makes this even worse is that in the movie, Gina is quite literally useless. She leads the team, and they get captured almost instantly. And in the final showcase, she kills maybe two people…? You have Megan Fox; she has the third billing in this movie, and this is how you treat her character. The fuck? Make it make sense, anybody!

Wasting or mistreating characters should be this movie’s tagline. They got Tony Jaa and Iko Uwais, two actual martial arts Gods who would destroy anybody in the fight, and they… Give them little to nothing to do. Iko is the main villain, who tries his hardest to villain “as hard as he can” but ultimately has one pretty decent showdown against Statham, and that is it. Jaa was by far the best part of this film; he even delivered some comedy, but… those “highs” should have been higher. Even his character and I will repeat myself, the best part of this entire film, still felt underused, half-cooked and wasted. I don’t understand this; you get these two martial arts legends and then give them such average action sequences… what a waste.

I must mention the CGI, as that might have been one of the worst CGI effects in a big-budget Hollywood movie ever, and this film had an estimated budget of around $100 million!?!?!?!?!?!!! There was a plane landing scene in the first half that genuinely managed to take me out of the film. I am not even kidding; I was watching it in the cinema, and those effects looked so bad that I wondered whether the CGI artists had no money, time or all of the above to render it properly. And that wasn’t the only problem, just the most glaring one. I know I start to sound like a broken record, but make it make sense… please?

The last point I will make is the main plot. I will discuss it without any spoilers, but it will be tough. The movie spends most of its runtime convincing you one of the core members is dead. Everything that has happened since then has to do with his death, and by the end, that character might or might not come back alive. I was not sure whether I was more mad about him coming back alive or that was the plot they decided to go with in the first place, as it never worked for me. The whole thing felt unearned, stupid and honestly hollow.

And that is, unfortunately, the best way to describe The Expendables 4. The comradery we got to know and appreciate from the previous movies is gone. The group (or what’s left of it) felt weird, tired and out of gas, but not because of their age; most actors came across like they didn’t want to be there and did it for a paycheck only. Everything in this movie felt tired, empty and done in the most generic way possible. I rarely do this, but whilst writing this review, I changed my mind and will re-rate this retrospectively, but you won’t see it. When I left the cinema, I rated this film 4/10 on IMDb and 2/5 on Letterboxd, so I was ready to give it this rating here too. And now, whilst reliving the movie through this review, I will knock it down a full star. There were some “okay” moments in the end, but this film doesn’t deserve a better rating. It may be time to let this franchise die, and I don’t think you understand how much it pains me to write this. The Expendables 4 was supposed to start a new era for Expendables, but I think this movie alone managed to bury this franchise.

Overall, The Expendables 4 might be one of the biggest letdowns of recent years. I wasn’t expecting a masterpiece; I was hoping it would be better than its predecessor, and in a world of John Wick movies, the people behind this sequel would understand that they have to evolve too. Instead of that, they’ve gone backwards, and this movie made the previous one look like one of the most sophisticated action movies of all time. It pains me to write this, but avoid this film that doesn’t know what to do with either of its characters, how to shoot action around people who know some stuff (like Iko Uwais and Tony Jaa) and has one of the worst CGI of the recent Hollywood history.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke