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Movie and TV lover with opinions about everything.
Misc

The Pornhub Podcast with Asa Akira (Review) – And now for something completely different…

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Alright, let’s just get this out of the way. If you find porn or nudity (even the talk of it) not for you, please feel free to skip this article, I understand it’s not for everyone.

I wanted to do a review of this podcast for a while, as still, even in 2020, I get weird looks when telling other people I do enjoy this podcast, and I genuinely can’t wait for more episodes to be released.

I’ve always found this topic interesting, so that definitely helps with me trying this one and being open minded about it. But the main reason for me writing this review, is to talk about not so much what this podcast is, but what it definitely ISN’T. People have prejudices towards porn, and porn performers, that’s not going to change any time soon. These are some of the most common stereotypes about porn people being:

  • Crazy (daddy issues, psychological traumas, I mean, why else would somebody be doing this?)
  • Drugged at all times (yeah, plenty of drugs, and parties!)
  • Dumb (why else would you be doing this, if you could have great, even though boring 9 – 5 job?)
  • Sick (I mean, they must have ALL THE STD’s!)

And the list goes on and on. How do I know this? From conversation with people and from this podcast, where performers come in and openly discuss pretty much anything with the delightful Asa Akira (more about her a bit later).

Look, there are examples, where some porn stars definitely belong to (more than) one category of those stereotypes, just from listening to this podcast, all of them guests so far basically said they have met somebody like that! But if you actually listen to all the episodes as I have, you’d be shocked.

As most of them are actually just normal people, who are not dumb at all (plenty of them have their own companies, and the way porn shifts towards being your own boss, they need to have more of entrepreneur mindset to be able to capitalise on everything coming their way) sober (surprising amount of performers doesn’t even drink) not crazy (maybe just slightly hornier than the rest of us) and healthier (not only they are getting tested more than your average Tinder hookup, but given most of them still need to look a certain way, they tend to be in a great shape) than most of us.

This is what I’ve found out listening hours and hours of this podcast – just because somebody is slightly more adventurous than your average Joe/Jane about sex, and doesn’t mind being filmed while doing it, that doesn’t necessarily mean… well anything. I feel like some people will hate on them no matter what, and then there will be some percentage, who are just envious, as if they could do what they do, they would, but something is stopping them (usually, it’s shame, or them not feeling comfortable enough with their own body) and that’s why they don’t like them.

Let’s talk about the host – Asa Akira is charismatic and charming person, who you will not mind spending an hour or so of your time with. They probably could not have picked a better person, as she’s smart, witty, actually interested in her guests and what they have to say, she can (and does) say when she fully doesn’t understand something… I mean in all honesty, I just want to be her BFF, as she seems like a great person to grab a (non-alcoholic, as I think she doesn’t drink?) cocktail with, once this whole COVID-19 situation goes by (so in like 2/3 years) and talk to her about random stuff. She seems like a genuinely nice person.

Also, where else can you learn a thing or two about sex? Plus, this is what I love about this podcast – the porn stars will be the first people to remind you something, plenty of people still forget about – PORN IS JUST A FANTASY. Yes, this was never meant to be for “educational” purposes, how some people (still) think about it, not at all. They were conceived and should always stay as “adult fairy tales” where people might get “inspired” about a thing or two, but can’t take it at face value, where “I’ve seen this in a porn, therefore that’s how sex works, right!?” and all the porn stars who have appeared on this podcast will be happy to confirm that too.

Overall, if you want to listen to stories of people, who are definitely not living boring lives, with personified charmed called Asa Akira, give it a try and see if it’s for you. It’s alright if not, no hard feelings or anything else that should be hard and pointed in your direction :-D.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

That’s all for this (unconventional) review? What do you think? Will you give it a shot, or are you blushing red already just reading this? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

Brightburn (2019) Review – Brilliant idea, poor execution

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If you were to tell me, that this movie’s pitch started something like this, I’d have believed you:

Gunn Cousins: (Pulling up the chairs closer to the table.) “Alright, we have an idea for a great movie!“

Producers: (Looking eagerly): “Cool, let’s hear it!“

Gunn Cousins: (Smiling like crazy.) “Just imagine, a Superman movie, where he’s a total dick and everything is joyless!“

Producers: (Looking around themselves, slightly nervously): “Isn’t that just Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice all over again, minus the Batman shit?“

Gunn Cousins: (Smiling even crazier.) “Nope, not at all! Because this time, he’s a 12 year old kid! See? Totally different!“

Producers: (Looking around themselves, smiling): “Can’t argue with that, go ahead and make it! And remember, joyless, Superman-like kid who’s total dick! And no Batman!“

Gunn Cousins: (Slowly leaving the room.) “Don’t you worry, we won’t! Can we have Elizabeth Banks in the movie?“

Producers: (Already counting all the dollars they are about to make from this movie): “Sure, it’s not like she’s busy with anything, just give her a call!“

And they’ve gone and made exactly that. The biggest problem with Brightburn is the movie is banking on its own premise way too much to carry the entire thing.

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS, BE WARNED!

For a horror movie, Brightburn is not scary, as it mainly relies on cheap jump scares and not on tension building for those jump scares to work. For a “unique” superhero movie, it’s not interesting at all, as it doesn’t give you more details about why Superman… I mean, Brandon, sorry, turned…

That’s my biggest problem with this movie – why did he HAVE to be possessed with something “evil” from the spaceship he came from? Come to think of it, why would the “evilness” waited for almost 12 years to possess him…? Why did it wake up? How does it work? And why wasn’t it attached to him from the very beginning since he landed?! Why it couldn’t be something like actual Superman story, where he stands out from the crowd too much, even in the early age, but where Superman was the “bigger” man, Brandon had failed and that’s why he had turned evil?

To me, it’d have been much better (and interesting) watching almost a psychological thriller about a kid who realises he’s got basically unlimited powers, and he starts to misuse those as he was always the outcast. Where we could see the potential struggle, his adoptive parents would try to ground him to be better, to be good… but no, instead of that, we got a really ineffective “horror” film with one, maybe two alright scenes and the rest was just bland mix of something, that had a GREAT potential.

No character in this movie is properly flashed out, and that’s why even the parents are bland, so when they try to convince him to “be good”, it rings false. Like the “lesson” when Brandon and his dad went camping and the dad was trying to talk to Brandon about “the birds and the bees”. At the end of that lesson, even I was confused as fuck, let alone a 12 year old with super powers and anger issues! I can’t blame him for going right out to that girl’s room, as it almost sounded like his dad encouraged him to do that! What I did like was the ending, not the fact it tried to set itself up for a sequel, but the fact Brandon actually “won” and could (potentially) wreak more havoc.

Overall, as I said in the beginning, Brightburn is a movie with brilliant idea/concept, that unfortunately relied on itself too much and it almost seems like everything else around that idea/concept was done as generically as possible, where in the end, you’re not quite sure what you’ve just watched, but you know, it could’ve been way better.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

TV Show Reviews

The Mandalorian Review – Season 1 – This is (definitely) the way

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This review is based on the first season of The Mandalorian, some spoilers might be involved.

Something almost unthinkable happened – we’ve finally gotten a live (read, not animated) Star Wars TV show! And it only took (checks watches for some reason) 42 years! Was it worth the wait…?

Yes. I mean, I am not in the business of writing click-baits. It was.

The Mandalorian made some pretty bold choices right from the start – taking place after the original trilogy, but way before the new sequel trilogy, so we shouldn’t be seeing any familiar faces any time soon, they made the main character a guy who (almost) never takes off his helmet, and throughout the 8 episodes, plenty of things are hinted at (the way things are after the fall of the Empire, how the Guild works, what/who exactly “The Child” is) but so far, almost no explanations. But you know what? I’m fine with that.

Let’s leave the creators to build the world for now, as after the entire first season, I trust them. Don’t expect every episode to action packed, as there are some, but not all. This is more like your typical spaghetti western – slow(ish) build up, with hell of payoff. Mainly the last two episodes were not only action packed, but really well done, introducing (hopefully) a crucial villain (all hail Giancarlo Esposito, the king of bad guys, I was so happy seeing him here) for the series, showing some really cool action scenes, surprisingly funny moments… there’s plenty to like.

I need to talk about “The Child” – no, you know what, let’s call him by his real, internet name, Baby Yoda. That was not only brilliant strategy not to involve him in any marketing for this show, but make an actual puppet instead of CGI. It really works well and adds an extra layer of not only realness, but also cuteness. Yes, I openly admit that Baby Yoda is the cutest thing I’ve seen in a long time and I’m not even ashamed.

Who really surprised me in this was Gina Carano. I’ve seen her in couple of movies, and thought she was decent, but she’s definitely improved as an actress. I thought she’s definitely done a great job and I really hope to see her in future seasons.

The main reason I appreciate The Mandalorian as much, is this could’ve easily been turned into something else, something the fans were more aware of, with some familiar looking faces, or about familiar looking places/events in the Star Wars universe. And as of yet, they didn’t really do the “fan service” thing, where you feel something is on the screen just because the creators KNEW it will please the audience, get an applause, or something like that. Everything felt natural, in their place and story flew smoothly, without any major “distractions” or hiccups.

So why am I not going the full 5* you might ask, but “only” 4.5*? I’m leaving that for the following seasons (we are getting AT LEAST 2 more) as this was a great introduction to a world we’ve not been to yet, it worked and fulfilled its purpose. Now comes the harder part – delivering on the standard, expanding on the world, establishing all the rules within that universe, explaining a thing or two… but I have faith in Jon Favreau the modern day George Lucas (I might write an article about him, as I don’t think people realise how much he’s shaped the culture we live in over the past 20 years or so) so I’m almost certain after the second season, it will be the highest rating.

I have spoken.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

And that’s all for The Mandalorian! Did you see it? How did you like it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

Almost Famous (2000) Review – A true cult movie

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I need to be honest here, I was a bit afraid of watching this movie. For almost 20 years now, I’ve been hearing how incredible of a movie this is, how influential it is, how this and that it was… It’s hard finally watching something you’ve heard only absolute praise about, because what if it doesn’t hit me as it hit others? What if me not being really into music that much (don’t get me wrong, I love and listen to music, but my knowledge is on a superficial level, I’m way more confident in movies, that’s why I’ve started this blog :-)) also affect the way I’d see this movie?

Well it didn’t, as I’ve finally seen it for the first time and let me tell you something – it’s truly a great movie. First of all, this is Cameron Crowe‘s best movie, there is not even a competition, this is his magnum opus. The way he directed this film is on another level, and the main compliment I need to mention is while watching the movie, it was hard for me to believe this is new(ish) movie, as it honestly felt like something from 70’s/80’s! From the feel of the movie, to the way he shot/blocked scenes, it truly seemed like something from that era, where at the end it was truly hard for me to understand this was done in 99/2000!

This movie lets you into its world even if you are somebody like me, whose knowledge of music scene of that era is on a superficial level – that’s another smart move from Crowe – you don’t need to be a music expert, you don’t need to get every reference that’s thrown your way in order to enjoy this movie fully, as those are “just” extras, for the crowd that knows their music. And this is yet another example of how smart this movie really is – any lesser film would’ve put the music properly “in front” where it could potentially alienate people like me who’re just not experts, therefore wouldn’t enjoy this as much. But here, even though it might seem like it, the music world is actually a background to a story of growing up and becoming an adult.

Yes, this movie is more about a (really) young guy, trying to balance his way in this double-faced world, where the music world surrounds him in every way. This movie is mainly about Patrick Fugit‘s character navigating this world, not knowing how it works, what to do exactly. He nails how it is not feeling like a child anymore, but also not being a proper adult yet. That awkward stage in between is really hard to put onto a film, yet somehow Crowe had pulled it off stunningly and seamlessly.

Another thing where this movie shines is displaying loneliness – how you can be surrounded with people one moment, yet still feel like the last person on Earth the next (the best example of that would be Kate Hudson‘s character dancing all by herself after a show’s finished, just her, empty gym and some balloons and glitter), how this world gives you everything you want one day, makes you feel like a cool guy, so it can take it away from you the very next day, feeling like the biggest loser.

I’ve also loved the fact every character, no matter how small or large, is not just a two dimensional one, but has an extra layer. Everyone seems to be some kind of stereotype at first, but the more you see, the more you understand that’s not really the case, as everybody got something to say, sometimes it might be deep, sometimes stupid.

I haven’t seen a movie as great as Almost Famous in a good while, and even though the runtime scared me a bit (I’ve seen the extended cut that runs just over 2 and half hours) it flew by like nothing and passed my ultimate test. What is it, you ask? If movie finishes and I feel like I want to watch it again, that very moment, I know I’ve seen something quite special. And that’s exactly what Almost Famous is. Something quite special, that upon further viewings, might actually crack my TOP 15 of all time.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

That’s all for this one? What did you think about this movie? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore. (2017) Review – Chillingly relatable

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I remember there was a period of time back in 2017/2018 where all the movie people I follow (Maltins, CinemaSins etc.) talked about this movie and how great it was.

I finally gave it a shot couple of days ago, and to be fair, I didn’t know what to think of it for some time – not because I was lost plot wise, but maybe I was expecting a bit more. That’s not to say this isn’t a good movie, because it is, Melanie Lynskey proves she should get better roles as she can handle leading a movie (basically) by herself and she’s amazing in this one. One thing I loved about her performance – she isn’t afraid to look ugly. She’s usually stunning, lovely looking woman and in this movie, she’s almost opposite of that, as her character goes through something we all can relate to more and more unfortunately, tough times and wondering… why? Why are things the way they are? Why do people treat other people like this? What’s the point of… everything?

I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore. is definitely an interesting movie where my biggest gripe with it would be it’s not as unique as it thinks it is. Because for its entirety, I was waiting for this movie to standout from the “indie” crowd of the last couple of years and it didn’t, story wise. Respectively, I thought the story could’ve been crazier, deeper, something truly unexpected could’ve happened with Melanie’s character or with Elijah Wood‘s character (he’s living the life, as he’s choosing smaller, more interesting projects and you can tell how much fun he’s having) who almost overshadowed Melanie. But it kind of “stayed” in its lane the entire time, which is a good lane, but also a lane more and more indie movie goes towards lately and that makes them “blend in” more. To me, smaller movies should stand out bit more.

The movie’s main message is “be a dick, it will come back and bite you in the ass (or in this movie example, face…?) but if you choose not to be one, you have more chance of making it out unharmed” which I can get behind. Maybe I’ve expected bit more, given everything I’ve heard, so that’s not really the movie’s fault.

Is this film worth your time? I’d say yes, just brace yourself, as this is definitely not “the feel good” movie of the summer. Or fall. Or winter, for that matter. You will feel slightly down right after, even though it kind of finishes on a hopeful note (Gary Anthony Williams in a small, but great role tells Melanie’s character throughout the movie that him and his wife are going through divorce procedures, but at the very end he tells her “We are not doing that anymore, we’ve worked it out”) and to me, this is what the movie is about – things might look dark and gloom at times, but if you power through it and stay a good person, things might just look up. Might.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think of it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

Aladdin (2019) Review – Genie Actually

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In order for you to understand what I mean by the “Genie Actually” comment, let me talk about the original Aladdin (1992) movie first.

We all know today, that the original is a decent movie, that’s made “above-its-pay-grade” amazing by Robin Williams and him only. His stand-up comedy persona was perfect fit for the role of Genie, and he managed “to steal” this movie without going overboard and even though he’s the best thing about the movie, you still remember Aladdin, princess Jasmine, Jafar and others, because it’s not just about the Genie. And that is the most fascinating thing about the original film, even though we all love Genie, he’s not there THAT much, so we can focus on the main story with Aladdin and also see both of them bond and develop friendship throughout, where we can see Genie actually caring about Aladdin, whether he lives or dies, whether he gets Jasmine or not.

While watching this movie, I was entertained enough, Will Smith actually did a good job, but there was something I couldn’t get over, something I couldn’t put my finger on. And then it happened – the party scene, where Genie talks to Aladdin and says:

Oh, well, you gonna need to go back to the room, then. You’re not messing up my night.

That was the moment, where a tiny light bulb appeared above my head, turned itself on with a pretty cool sound effect and it all clicked (does this happen to anybody else btw, or should I see a doctor about that…?) – this isn’t Aladdin movie. Sure, it’s named Aladdin, and it pretends to be about him, but the main star is Will Smith. Ever since he appears on the screen, he doesn’t seem to go away, and makes himself focus of most of the scenes. And when your movie shifts focus like that, you kind of notice, as it halts everything else. Suddenly, I’ve noticed how because of the movie focusing more on him trying to steal the movie, we don’t really have the bonding experience like in the original movie, so when the “drowning” scene comes along, it almost feels unearned for Genie to save Aladdin.

Nobody will ever recreate that magic from the original movie, not because it’s something that genius, or because Robin Williams is sadly not with us anymore, but because they didn’t plan to have Genie “steal” the movie the way he had! Even though they recognised what they had with Robin’s unique performance, they didn’t go overboard with it, so as amazing as his portrayal of Genie was, he was still the supporting character. This movie feels split, as ever since Will-Genie comes into it, he overtakes the entire movie. And it becomes quite tiring after a while, as Will Smith is funny, but not “balls-to-the-walls” funny. Also, just noticed something else supporting my theory about him being the main star – go and look at the movie’s posters with multiple characters – whose head is the biggest on all of them? Who stands out the most? I know he’s the most “profitable” star in this movie, but still…

Other than that the movie improved on nothing, they gave princess Jasmine one song about empowerment (which I actually quite liked) but her character is almost identical to the one from the original movie. Naomi Scott tried her best though and I’m hopeful and excited to see her in more movies going forward.

One last thing – all due respect to Marwan Kenzari, (the new Jafar) but he wasn’t menacing at all – don’t know whether it was his choice, or maybe Guy Ritchie (yes, it’s directed by Guy Ritchie, I mean, why? How? What?) told him to tone it down, but he definitely seemed to be a “downgrade” from the original, as his animated counterpart was much more menacing.

Overall, Aladdin is a slightly better than average movie, bringing (almost) nothing new to the story and making over 1 billion worldwide at the box office. Wonder how long will this work for Disney with these live action remakes…

Rating: 3 out of 5.

That’s all for this fancy-schmancy rendition of Aladdin! What did you think? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

Roxanne (1987) Review – Steve Martin’s vehicle

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Some movies age like fine wine, where you can look get into them really easily, laugh along with the main characters, enjoy the story. Roxanne is not one of those movies.

20 minutes into this movie I thought “Oh no, this will be one of those films that must’ve been really funny when it was released, but now it will be a snooze fest”. Luckily, I was wrong, as after those 20 minutes, the movie improves. I think it has something to do with Rick Rossovich‘s character, as he’s the perfect foil for Steve Martin‘s character.

Let me just take a minute and go through something – this is where modern comedies make their biggest mistake – they usually cast two (or more) comedians, throw them in some situation and say “Now, BE FUNNY!” and it doesn’t work like that. The best comedies usually work because there is only ONE person that’s supposed to be funny, the other should really work like a foil, an opposite of whatever the comedian plays. In this instance, we have Steve Martin, who’s charming, intelligent, sharp and funny guy. On the opposite side, we have Rick, who’s handsome, and… that’s really it. He relies on his looks, so he doesn’t have to be witty, and he isn’t really dumb, but he’s also not really the sharpest tool in the shed (as Smash Mouth would say), and that’s why scenes between him and Steve’s character work really well, even today. For this to work, Rick needs to stay in his line and not try to be funny, as he’d just clash with Steve’s character and it wouldn’t work as well. That’s why comedies nowadays don’t work that well, as nobody wants to be the foil anymore, as it’s an ungrateful job, because if you do it well, you make the other person shine, and usually people overlook your performance.

The highlight of this movie is definitely Steve in the bar, coming up with insults about his big, big nose – where we can see the almost raw potential of his character and how he truly is, where he has plenty of opportunities to turn sour, but he never does. He manages to balance on a thin line between standing up for himself and not making his character be just about his nose, give us something extra where we can still root for him without feeling “Ok, he’s got a big nose, I get it.”

Other than Steve’s performance, the movie is pretty decent, Saturday afternoon movie, where nothing will surprise you, you might laugh once or twice, you will probably be charmed by Daryl Hannah (and since it was still the 80’s, we definitely needed to have a scene where she’s naked and running around, even though everything is covered up).

If it wasn’t for Steve’s brilliant performance, there’d be nothing memorable about this movie. But he went for it and single-handedly made this movie better, and that reflects in my rating too. Definitely a pleasant movie.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

That’s it for this one! Did you see Roxanne? What’s your favourite Steve Martin’s movie? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

Dumbo (2019) Review – The blandest Burton, ever

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If I were to tell you, you are about to watch a movie starring Colin Farrell, Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Eva Green and Alan Arkin, and that movie is directed by no other than Tim Burton, you’d be pretty excited, right? Well, I was…

I wasn’t even expecting that much, to tell you the truth. I was hoping for a nice, simple story about a cute, tiny elephant, with big ears and the ability to fly. Sprinkle some Burton magic dust into it, make it more dream like, and surely you can’t miss, can you…?

Well, Dumbo felt like a… robot. It felts nicely polished, it felt modern, all the actors named above were fine (Michael Keaton might’ve been too cartoony towards the end, and I wasn’t convinced with Colin Farrell’s accent, as he sometimes sounded like a parody) and the CGI was alright, detailed… but so, so lifeless. And that “lifelessness” somehow pierced the entire movie, where there is almost never a dull moment, but it all just feels bland, with no stakes.

Just to prevent any confusion about me being biased, I didn’t grow up watching the original Dumbo (1941), I’ve only seen it this year (2020) for the very first time, so this isn’t me being “harsh” towards this movie because they’ve remade something I grew up with, not at all.

For the entirety of Dumbo, I was asking myself one question: Why would you hire somebody like Tim Burton, an artist who’s “handwriting” is usually all over his movies, where whether you like the films or not, they feel like Tim Burton made them, just not allow him to do it here? Because that is my main complain – this could’ve been directed by any Joe Smith and the movie would’ve looked exactly the same, nothing would’ve been lost. I can only question whether it was Disney who kept Burton on a leash, or whether it was Tim who didn’t want to go all in…? It makes no sense to me at all.

In unrelated news, Nico Parker (daughter of Thandie Newton) seems to have talent and charm after her mum, so I’ll be watching her with interest, hoping there is a new talent on the horizon.

Sorry, if this review feels bland, but I find it hard to write something not bland about this movie, where everything is alright, and nothing stands out. I’d rather have Burton who shoots for the moon and misses, than Burton who seems to have checked out before the digital camera had batteries in.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

That’s all for Dumbo! What did you think? Did you grow up with the original? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke