Another year, another Disney live-action remake of their beloved animated classic, just so they can keep the copyright on those characters and sell you the same merchandise in new, updated skin. This year, the wise “wheel of all the movies we haven’t remade yet” stopped at The Little Mermaid, and this film made the news instantly when the casting was announced due to Disney making this fictional mermaid black, portrayed by Halle Bailey. Unfortunately, in the year 2023, you can imagine why it made the news, and you can also imagine the “certain people” who were “very upset” (to put it mildly) by this the most. Anyway, enough about racists. I didn’t catch this movie at the cinemas, but I heard “okay-ish” things to be intrigued, and when I finally checked it out myself, it was… overall, I have to put “meh”, but it might be the most complex “meh” of my entire life.

Let’s start with the positives and, by far, the biggest and (quite frankly) the only thing Disney did correctly was to bet their money on Halle Bailey. Not only can you tell she loves the story and is stoked to be a part of this, but this girl will be a star. She has a presence, feels royal (a great choice for a princess), and, most importantly, can sing. And I mean, she can sing where she sends shivers down your spine. Halle might be tiny (IMDb has her height at 5′ 2″ (or for us Europeans, 1.57 m)), but she has got some lungs and voice on her. Every time she sang, this film was worth watching. I can’t judge her acting as much, as she did a perfectly fine job as Ariel, but as far as her singing… she should be a household name at some point.

What I also liked was diving more into Caribbean culture, making this film (or at least parts of it) bright, colourful and vivid. I also enjoyed performances by Daveed Diggs and Melissa McCarthy, who were both much-needed comic reliefs, even though Melissa had to dig deeper into her darker side, playing the main villain and all that, and I thought she did fine.

Now, where this movie lost me was… well, everything else. By far, the biggest issue was the length and with that pacing. I don’t mind longer films, but every film must justify its length. The Little Mermaid had no justification for being 135 minutes. Especially the middle part, where you have this massive talent, and she can’t speak (I know it’s part of the story, and it had to happen, but still) felt out of place, the pacing was slow, and it almost felt like Rob Marshall made some bizarre deal with Disney, like had he managed to stretch it over two hours, he would get a bonus.

Also, when I praised the vivid Caribbean culture above, the end of this film is… dark. The CGI mostly didn’t work for me, and weirdly, The Little Mermaid made me appreciate Avatar: The Way of Water (2022, my review here) much more. You can tell how detailed the underwater scenes in Avatar were and how they seem “smooth” and life-like, unlike this movie, where everything and everyone seemed, for lack of a better word, smudged and slightly distorted.

I briefly need to mention Awkwafina, or, better said, her character Scuttle. I know many people don’t like her, and I am not one of them. But, there is a line where her Scuttle character became just annoying, which is rare nowadays. In most kids’ movies made today, the filmmakers know where the invisible line lies and usually make sure that no side character goes beyond it. But there was definitely too much of Scuttle in this movie. I did like the first couple of scenes, but the more this movie went on, the more forced and less funny those jokes became. Again, this isn’t because Awkwafina voiced this character. I can imagine this character being voiced by anybody else and still being as annoying.

This critique can, in a way, sum up how I feel about this film overall. The Little Mermaid isn’t a flop; it is not a bad movie either. It did a few things very well (especially relying on Halle Bailey), but every other choice the people behind this movie made felt unimaginative at best and lazy at worst. Realistically, the only reason I rate this film slightly above the average is the one and only Halle and her singing, as that was worth it. It’s too bad the entire movie didn’t rise to her quality.

Overall, The Little Mermaid is a perfectly fine movie your kids might love, and you will tolerate it. The beginning gives you hope that this might not be that bad, only for the middle part to bore you to tears and the end to be pretty dark (literally) where you can’t really distinguish much. Unlike many, I have seen the original movie from 1989 a few years ago, so it wasn’t a Disney movie I grew up with, so I don’t have a bias that they would “ruin my childhood” with this remake. However, as far as these life-action Disney remakes go, this one ranks amongst them as “one of them”. For me, most of those were exactly, like The Little Mermaid, pretty average experiences with maybe one or two things that would uplift it. It bears repeating after all the hate she had to endure, Halle Bailey is that someone here. She elevates and carries this monster of a movie on her tiny frame, and it would be purely on her singing; I could see myself cautiously recommending this to anyone.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

This movie and I had a weird “journey”. When I first saw the trailers for The Creator, I wasn’t convinced, but the more time I saw the trailer (as it was running in front of most of the films I watched in the cinema), the more I became convinced this could actually turn out decently. So, by the time I was seated, I had some expectations. And the movie delivered, but also did not deliver…? Yeah, this will be a weird review, but bear with me.

Let me start with the positives first. The Creator might be the best-looking movie of 2023, especially when we consider the budget of “only” $80 million. I loved the rough, not clean aesthetic of this “future world” whilst all the robots and locations looked real. I had no problem believing this was the future, and I don’t think there was ever something (effects-wise) that would pull me out. If there were one “area” The Creator won, it would be the CGI, and big companies like Disney have no excuse for producing $150 – $200 million movies that look messy, unfinished and sloppy.

The other thing I must compliment is the performances, or, better said, the chemistry between John David Washington and Madeleine Yuna Voyles. Especially Madeleine as Alphie gives a great performance, given she is a literal child and this was her first role ever, she did spectacularly. John David had a challenging role, where despite him being a lead actor, he wasn’t given much and had to rely on Madeleine and their chemistry. Had that not worked, this movie would have fallen apart, but luckily, it worked. You will buy their “dad/daughter” relationship, where they struggle at first, but eventually, you believe they became close, and John’s character grew because of Alphie.

Now, where this film lost me was everything else. There is a saying in Hollywood that goes: “If you want to steal, steal from the best.” This refers to screenwriters stealing ideas for movies and putting their own spin on them. Unfortunately, it seems like Gareth Edwards (the director and co-writer of this movie) and Chris Weitz only heard that saying without the addendum of adding your own spin on things, as this movie presents you with ideas that have been explored in a plethora of different and much better movies. From Blade Runner (1982, my review here) to The Terminator (1984) and many more, I am not exaggerating when I say there is nothing original about this film or in it. Every idea has been explored much better and more deeply in different movies. Every theme is just a surface-level idea that, yet again, you would have seen executed a hundred different times across many other films and shows. I understand it’s hard to come up with something new, but unfortunately, if you make a sci-fi film and stake your entire plot on these big ideas and neither goes deep enough, you are in trouble.

You need to connect with those themes to be impacted in any way, shape or form by what is happening on the screen, and since there was nothing new to grab onto and everything this movie wants to talk about (sentient AI, the idea of rights for the AI, how the AI can be used for or against us), I have seen done before countless of times, everything that happened in this film didn’t resonate with me at all. Every major scene, every “big” death that should have impacted me simply did not do anything for me. That is why this feels like the most “meh” movie of this year, and if it weren’t for the stunning CGI and good chemistry between the two lead actors, I would have rated it much lower.

Hopefully, this explains the title of this review to you, as The Creator is not a bad movie per se. It has a decent cast, but except for the titular duo, everyone feels wasted in their roles. I could possibly make the argument for Ken Watanabe having at least some character development, but that is about it. Allison Janney gets nothing to do. And The Creator joins the ranks of movies like Don’t Worry Darling (2022, my review here) for having Gemma Chan in the movie and wasting her completely. On top of all that, every idea or theme seems shallow, barely scraping the surface level and almost lazy. In a weird way, it feels like the more detail and care that went into the CGI to make this film look stunning, the less amount went into the story elements and trying to say something new. That doesn’t make The Creator a bad movie; it just makes it… well, a movie. It makes it one of many movies that will be forgotten, only to be “rediscovered” 10/15 years from now, with clickbait articles titled: “How was this hidden gem ignored when it came out! You need to watch it right now!”

Overall, The Creator wants to be an epic sci-fi with deep themes and messages about AI. What this film ended up being was a stunningly looking sci-fi whose themes are as shallow as a kiddie pool. Every idea this film presents has been done better, and you can see every story element or twist coming a mile away. If you want a visual feast where you can “switch your brain off”; I would recommend this movie cautiously. If you are looking for something more challenging or want to watch a great sci-fi, this ain’t it, chief. This movie is as average as it gets, and if it weren’t for the CGI, my rating would have been lower.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

After being stuck in production hell for almost ten years, The Flash has finally seen the light of day and come out. Of course, that omits many other things, mainly how problematic (and fighty) Ezra Miller has gotten in the last couple of years. If you don’t know what I am talking about, you are lucky if you want to know more; Google is your friend. But we are here to talk about the movie, not them (Ezra is non-binary) being “a bit” of a nuisance. And after the epic trailers and all the talks about how this is one of the best superhero movies ever made, it was… ok.

Look, you definitely won’t have a bad time with The Flash. If you can separate the art from the artist, get past some PlayStation 2 level of CGI and make peace with the fact that nothing you see in this movie matters because the DCEU is being rebooted under James Gunn‘s supervision. And I think all of these factors combined have contributed to my enjoyment of this movie, respectively, the issues I had with it. When I was in the cinema, I laughed a few times, but never too loud. When some of those emotional scenes came about, I was touched (luckily not by Ezra), but nothing that would ever stick with me long-term. And when the movie tries to end by teasing us: “Hey, there could have been a sequel!” and you remember that there is no chance in hell that will happen, you get… not underwhelmed, more like whelmed.

That’s why I stand by my title and will say the biggest issue this movie has is being the fast food equivalent of a film. It does the job and will “fill you up” when you need it, but it doesn’t give you anything nutritious or anything that will stick with you for a long time. When I got home from the cinema, not even an hour after the movie’s ended, and I reflected back on it, I discovered this feeling of “meh”. I mostly enjoyed myself at the moment, but even those cool moments didn’t stay with me for too long after it.

What also didn’t help was the trailers gave away too much. I have seen many scenes frequently in front of other movies (like the shot of Supergirl punching through the missile) and therefore lost all the impact they could have had. For example, imagine for a moment a world where you would sit down, not knowing Michael Keaton was back as Batman in this movie. Imagine how awesome that would be, and I know I would have enjoyed myself more. But the marketing campaign was built on that, and with that, I’ve also seen many of his scenes/lines that could have been much better had they been left out of those trailers. I understand why the studios felt like they “must” market this movie like this; after all, he is the biggest star in this movie, but still…

The movie plays with the idea of time travel, multiverses and how changing one tiny thing in the past changes everything. I imagine when they started the development of this movie, it would have been a pretty rad and new concept, but when there is still a movie in the cinemas playing alongside The Flash that takes this concept and talks about it in a more nuanced way (yes, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023, my review here)), it’s difficult for this movie. And let’s not even talk about the Oscar-winning movie Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022, my review here) that quickly made its way into my top five movies of all time. That’s the thing The Flash was stuck in this development hell where the idea that was once new and fresh now feels stale and done much better by other movies.

I enjoyed the others, not advertised cameos, but even those felt like: “Hey, look here, you like this actor/character, so here they are!” without having any meaningful impact on the movie. You could argue the last cameo at the very end should have been impactful, but again, knowing we will never get a sequel that would expand on it, it feels pointless and falls flat.

I have enjoyed Sasha Calle (Supergirl), even though her character had to have the “development speed run”, so she could stand with our protagonists in the final battle. I wouldn’t mind having a movie with her, and it seems there is one in development already, but honestly, with the state of DCEU… I wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t happen for another decade. I thought she did a great job with the relatively little she was given.

Also, let’s talk quickly about CGI. Yes, I understand that (apparently) it was a choice to have the movie look like it, but… That’s like me saying: “I choose to paint horribly.” when in fact, I don’t know how to paint. Somebody pointed out that (especially in the scenes where Flash travels back in time) the characters look like from PlayStation 2 era, and that comparison is spot on. And I say this as someone who has never owned a PS2 but has seen many games from that era. Intentional or not, it was a questionable, “rubbery” choice.

Overall, The Flash was over-hyped, and that’s saying it mildly. The movie is not bad by any measure. Well, except for the CGI, the cameo fest that didn’t matter, and the fact the entire film doesn’t matter… ok; actually, it might be bad. But I had a good enough time in the cinemas and some moments worked for me that I will be “nice”. Had this movie come out 5/6 years ago, it might have been an event. Now it feels stale, awkward (because of Ezra), and the brief flashes (some pun intended) of greatness remind us what could have been. The Flash is truly the McDonald’s of films, it does the job for 140 minutes, and you will forget about it the next day.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Olivia Wilde‘s follow-up to Booksmart (2019, a film I enjoyed) was supposed to be brilliant. I remember when the first trailer dropped, and I couldn’t wait to watch it. But then, the behind-the-scenes drama started to unravel (google “Don’t Worry Darling behind the scenes drama” or “Don’t Worry Darling Shia LaBeouf“), the second trailer dropped and didn’t do much for me, and then, the awkward promos for this movie, trying to pretend like everything is/was fine whilst they were making it… Oh yeah, the fact this movie got middling reviews also didn’t help, and I just kind of forgot about this movie until it arrived on one of my streaming platforms, where I finally caught it the other day. And… yeah, there are some issues.

I can’t decide whether this movie’s biggest problem is its predictability or whether it’s the fact that the film is as deep as a kiddie pool. Don’t Worry Darling desperately wants to be a movie about something larger than itself, but it doesn’t “walk the walk”; so to speak. Every time I thought we were finally examining something (an idea, story element, side character) in depth, the movie said: “Nah, forget about it!” It was frustrating as there were some hints of brilliance, but everything was very surface-level.

For example, a big part of this film is knowing something is wrong here. And if you have seen literally a few movies in your life, you can safely predict the big “twist”. Which is fine; sometimes, it’s not about the destination, it is more about how you get there and the road you take. That is when I thought the movie has to put the cards on the table and will finally explore its main characters for us to understand them. And no, that doesn’t happen. We see glimpses of something that should give you everything you should need, but that fell flat for me. For a film that wanted to be this big piece about freedom and feminism and seemed to be exploring ideas of leadership, faith and ignorance, it does very little work, and instead, it focuses on the aesthetics of the 1950s more than anything else. Don’t Worry Darling may be one of the best examples of “style over substance”, unfortunately.

The one major thing this movie had going for it was Florence Pugh. Her character carries this movie on her tiny frame, and at times, it feels almost undeserved. I would love to compliment other actors, as there were many great ones here (from Olivia to Chris Pine, KiKi Layne, Gemma Chan or Timothy Simons), but unfortunately, neither made an impression because they were not given anything compelling. Take Chris Pine and Gemma Chan – they play a couple in this movie. We understand he is evil, but do we ever learn why? Without going into spoilers, no. We never find out why he does “it” or how “it” came about. Gemma Chan had two decent scenes, and her final one was supposed to be impactful, but it wasn’t because we don’t know anything about her! Is she also evil? Or did she spot her chance? There are a couple more questions about her character, but asking those would be “spoilery”, so I won’t. But her final scene was wasted because we have never learned anything about her or Pine’s character. They just exist.

That brings me to Harry Styles. Look, is he the best actor? No. Was he bad? Also no. He was… ok. His performance was perfectly “serviceable” in this film, but again, we learned next to nothing about him. And we should have, given what we find out about his character later on, really should have spent more time on/with him to understand his motivations besides the five-minute scene that was supposed to give us all we needed. The problem with that scene was it felt very two-dimensional. Don’t Worry Darling wants to play this complex 5D chess game about life, freedom and choices (or lack thereof), but it shoots itself in both legs when we are given the bare minimum about all our characters. And don’t get me started on that ending that pretends to be hopeful (?), but in reality, it’s not, and I don’t think the movie realises that.

I feel like Olivia has bitten more than she could chew for her second feature. I like her, but I have to say, she shouldn’t have directed this movie as it felt… weird. There were choices made that would every now and then take me out of the film (like having the camera spin in circles when a few of our characters are having a conversation) but most importantly, this feels like a movie that we have seen so much already, you have to bring something new. Subvert the genre, do something different, don’t give us the bare minimum with barely two-dimensional characters and call it a day. Imagine how this material would have looked in the hands of someone like Jordan Peele or Christopher Nolan. You know, directors who understand how to subvert expectations and take you on a journey you won’t forget. Unlike this movie, I struggle to remember now, and it hasn’t been even a week since I saw it!

Overall, Don’t Worry Darling is one of the luckiest movies ever because it had Florence Pugh, who singlehandedly, uplifted it above average. If it weren’t for her, my rating would be just average, as that is what this movie is – a fine movie with some pretty visuals and flashes of intriguing ideas, but nothing that would stick with you for too long or get explored any further. It’s also one of those movies where the behind-the-scenes drama would have probably made a better movie than the one I just witnessed. I hope Olivia’s next directorial attempt will be better as I still have hope (and I also really enjoyed Booksmart and hope it wasn’t a fluke).

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

I don’t remember a mainstream film being as controversial as Blonde in some time. What’s more interesting about this controversy, it seemed to have started by casting Ana de Armas in the titular role of Marilyn. And after the first screenings happened, people were split on this movie, some calling it an achievement, many more a failure and horrible exploitation of Monroe’s legacy. Blonde has been on my watch list for a while, but when (seemingly out of the blue) Ana de Armas got nominated for an Oscar, I had to sacrifice almost three hours of my time to see what that controversy was about. And let me say this was a hard film to digest.

This film was purposively designed to shock, to facilitate a reaction, to break through the mould of the everyday averageness of most of today’s movies. There are many things, scenes and images from this film which won’t leave you any time soon, so in that narrow instance; you can call Blonde a success. You can call it many other words, but one thing is for sure, you won’t forget that you watched this film, for better or worse.

The issue is whether that is enough for you. Blonde is based on a book that states it from the get-go is a piece of fiction. It’s supposed to be a mere “What if this happened in Marilyn’s life”. And there were a few things this film is talking about that can be argued are possibly correct, like mistreating Marilyn when she was alive, almost “tossing her around” like some sort of human-sized toy. Where the issue for me (and many others based on reading some reviews after watching this movie) lied was that this film does the same thing it’s blaming its audience for. There is a scene which almost breaks the fourth wall and puts the blame onto us for what’s happening to Marilyn. But isn’t it a bit hypocritical? Isn’t the idea of making a film showcasing Marilyn in a certain way based on a work of fiction doing the same thing, just using her name to sell itself? It is because if you were to remove the name Marilyn Monroe from this film, nobody would care about it. Or its viewing audience would shrink by 50%.

Let’s talk about Ana’s performance. I had no problem with her portraying Marilyn, despite the fact she “had an accent” (one of the most common criticisms you can read about her casting is that she sounded too Cuban). I will judge her based on her performance rather than the fact she happens to be Cuban because Jesus fucking Christ. Anyway, I thought she was outstanding. There was no moment where Ana wasn’t in this 100%, for better or worse. It didn’t matter what the scene demanded, she gave the film all she had. Is it an Oscar-worthy performance? Honestly, you can flip a coin at this point for me, more likely not; however, I wasn’t mad/annoyed she got nominated. She carries this film not because she plays the main role but because she becomes the film. You needed somebody as strong as Ana to lead this film and never once flinch. There more I think about it, the more I am talking myself into Ana being rightfully nominated, as she was one of two things that made this movie stand out. The other is the cinematography.

As I stated above, Ana’s nomination wasn’t expected (for me), but I wouldn’t have been surprised to see cinematography nominated. That aspect was the other thing that couldn’t be denied. How beautiful this film was, despite what was happening on the screen. The beautiful cinematography by Chayse Irvin lifts this film for me; despite having a hard time with the story or the hypocritical message, I was stunned many times looking at the film purely because his work was so excellent. It is a shame he didn’t get the recognition he deserved.

At this point, it’s so hard to distinguish what is fact and fiction regarding the one and only Marilyn Monroe. From some reading I did about the actual Marilyn, she was ahead of her time on many social issues and not as dumb as she was portrayed. However, she seemed to have many demons, and her entanglement with some of the most powerful men of that era also didn’t help her. The biggest irony of it all is that this film thinks it’s somehow in Marilyn’s corner when in reality does to her memory what others did to her when she was alive, profiting off of her name. Since there are so many stories, books, movies, legends and myths about Marilyn, she seems almost like this mythical being rather than just a being. I am not sure what the purpose of the fictionalised “what if” book about her life should have achieved, and maybe the book itself is a masterpiece; I don’t know, as I have not read it. But the film based on that book succeeds in shocking you but fails in almost every other aspect, as it seems painfully unaware of the irony of what its mere existence does to Marilyn’s legacy.

Overall, Blonde is one hell of a depressing film that showcases Ana de Armas and her talent. We can discuss whether she deserved that nomination, but one thing is undeniable. She gave this film her everything and then some. I admire that. The cinematography is also stunning, and based on those two facts alone, I am almost willing to cautiously recommend this movie. What is stopping me are the scenes that mix reality with pure fiction and how many people will go into this film, not knowing it’s not supposed to be viewed as reality. Also, the fact it blames the audience for what happened to Marilyn whilst doing exactly the same thing is a choice. I would say, read a thing or two about this book and then about the actual Marilyn. And then, and maybe then, go check out this film if you want to see something unique; something that will stay with you for a while. But get ready to be disturbed.

That’s all for this one! Did yous see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

I went into this movie blind, not knowing anything about it. And when I learned it’s a fantasy story, I hoped I would end up loving it because it’s been a while since we got a truly great fantasy film. And the story got me hyped, I thought there were elements of something magical (even if it kind of reminded me of The NeverEnding Story (1984)), and I was hoping for it to pay off. And it did but only halfway? The rest, unfortunately, got lost in this overabundant mess of CGI.

Let me clarify – Slumberland is a beautiful movie visually, for the most part. At least for the first 30 minutes or so. But after that, the film suffers from everything being CGI, so nothing stands out anymore. It’s like if you order a really spicy meal at a restaurant. The first couple of bites will stand out because it’s new and spicy, and you weren’t expecting to be that spicy. But after several other bites, your mouth will go numb, and since you know what to expect now, it will eventually not surprise you as much. But unlike spice, CGI (and especially CGI that looks kind of “samey”) is something many movies still use because it’s easy and cheaper, and it shows. No matter how beautiful the scenery gets, deep down, you know it’s too shiny; too pretty, and therefore it’s all fake. And that took me out of most of the film. Maybe that is just a “me thing”, but I would rather see practical effects/sets, no matter how laughable they can sometimes be, than CGI effects that make the film feel the same throughout it.

This film is centred around three performers – Jason Momoa, Marlow Barkley and Chris O’Dowd. And I feel like they all deserve to be mentioned, at least briefly. Since Marlow is the youngest one, I was not familiar with her at all, but I thought she did a great job. If her character didn’t click, the movie would have fallen flat. Luckily that wasn’t the case, and Marlow gave a really solid performance. I was happy to see Jason Momoa going for something new, pushing “the silly” in his performance because we don’t often see him as silly, but I thought it mostly worked. But the one who truly surprised me was Chris. He gave probably the best performance of his career (at least from the films of his I saw) and crushed this role. At first, it seems unlikely, given his role is the “boring one”, the responsible boring adult who has the most boring life/hobby possible. And then, the film starts to unwrap his character, and the highlight, the peak of his performance, was him watching a video of his youth and talking about his brother. I wasn’t expecting Chris to ground this film that much, but he did, and that was the shining light in an otherwise vast sea of CGI that gave me hope. I guess what I am trying to say is; we all know and love Chris O’Dowd as the funny, quirky guy. But goddammit, somebody needs to cast him in a proper drama because there is way more to him than what we have seen. I believe that even Slumberland barely scratched the surface of his acting capabilities.

And unfortunately, I could write the same about this entire movie. Slumberland has nice visuals and an intriguing story with a positive message, but… The whole thing feels like it’s only scratching the surface. It never dares to go too deep (besides that one scene with Chris), and we could have used more scenes like that and less CGI. I understand the primary purpose of this film was to be as imaginative as possible, given it is “Kidception“, but the lack of anything creative besides CGI was ultimately where the film failed for me.

If it sounds to you like I am hung up on the CGI element of this film, you are correct because most of it doesn’t look even that believable. So if the majority of your movie consists of questionable CGI and you want to tell this touching family story with a message about not losing that childish spark, it’s hard to focus on that when everything surrounding it looks fake. It’s a shame Slumberland couldn’t have a bigger budget with somebody at the helm insisting on trying some practical stuff, as that could have given us an amazing film. Instead, we ended up with something that will get forgotten about amidst thousands of Netflix movies that should have been better, but they were not.

Overall, Slumberland is a decent film with great performances by our main duo and one excellent performance by Chris O’Dowd. The overreliance on the cheap/samey looking CGI is, unfortunately, what kills a lot of momentum for this film to do anything meaningful, like stay with you for longer than a couple of hours. I get why, for many filmmakers, fantasy equals CGI nowadays (any CGI is still cheaper than sets, locations etc.), but I miss those days of fantasy movies at least striving for something bigger. And I secretly wish somebody who wields power in Hollywood would bring that genre back “properly”. Say what you want about Game of Thrones (2011 – 2019) or how it ended, but in its prime, it was the fantasy show to beat. And a big part of it was the fact they shot on real locations with as many real props as possible.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Have you ever had one of those afternoons with your friends where you randomly decide to see what’s playing in the cinema after a nice meal and some shopping? Well, I had never experienced it until a few weeks ago, when we did just that and, lo and behold, Black Adam was playing (meaning the trailers for other films just started, so we walked in, not interrupting anybody, and we caught the entire movie). I thought this should be fun to see in the cinema; I heard some rumours about an impactful post-credit scene that got me hyped, and… it’s gone (spoilers for the after-credit scene). As it’s almost tradition at this point, that the post-credit scene in DCEU no longer matters, but guys, trust DC, this time they REALLY have a plan! Pinky promise they won’t just cancel everything like they did several times!

Let’s put this mess some people call DCEU aside for now and focus on Black Adam. The film starts epically; we get a historical exposition followed by an action set piece. After that, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson finally makes his long-awaited appearance as the titular (anti)hero, and another action sequence happens. Everything is epic; everything feels epic. And this doesn’t stop for the remainder of the film. It felt like one prolonged action sequence with a bunch of Justice League rejects (I will get to those soon) and almost zero stakes because you just watch things go “boom” and Dwayne looking for his charisma. I hate to say this, but The Rock isn’t that great of an actor. Of course, he doesn’t have to be, because he is an action superstar and could literally brake me in half with just one hand, so… But I always forgive all action people that they aren’t the “best” actors as most of them have charisma, charm, something that makes us love them and forget that they can’t act and rely on that charm. Can you see where I am going with this? If Dwayne is forced to play this “tabula rasa” character with zero charm, he’s got not much going for him except his exceptional physique. It makes sense storywise why Teth Adam would be like this, but for him, this was mostly an exercise of walking with the same expression for the majority of this film.

Back to the action, sometimes it works to make your film about one place where it looks like almost one giant action set piece. The perfect example would be both The Raid (2011) and The Raid 2 (2014) – movies with very little story happening, but you don’t care because what you are watching is some kick-ass (literally) action set pieces, many shot with minimum cuts and in ways that make you say: “Hey, how the fuck did they do that?” So take those low-budget (estimated budget for the first film is just over one million dollars and for the second one 4.5 million dollars) movies and compare them to Black Adam, this Hollywood beast of a blockbuster whose budget is almost 200 million dollars. You will find many epic action scenes scored with a genuinely kick-ass soundtrack alongside a lot of CGI. That is understandable; not even The Rock can crash literal rocks, even though I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried. But these are the same action scenes we’ve been seeing over the past almost 15 years now. There are some cool shots and sequences, but it’s hard to pick one, given how the film doesn’t give you any time to breathe. Everything is so “cool” and loud and CGI all the time; you remember less and less about it, and nothing sticks out. Well, the Justice Society does, but not in the way they were supposed to.

Have you ever thought about how the MCU would have looked had we gotten The Avengers (2012) as their first movie? No Iron Man (2008), Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) or Thor (2011). The story would make zero sense because those films built up towards The Avengers, and most importantly, we wouldn’t care if any of them died because we would have no history with these not-so-mainstream characters, right? Yep, that’s how I felt watching the Justice Society in this film. I understand at this point, DCEU is unwilling to take notes from the MCU purely out of spite, it seems (even though now under James Gunn, things might change?). And, of course, they had to have more characters to go up against Black Adam to provide us with those glorious CGI action sequences of people mostly punching each other, but… I didn’t care about any single one of them. The fact I didn’t care is kind of shit, given there is a sacrifice towards the end of the film made by one of them that was supposed to be impactful on the film and the group itself. But since we have only met them in this film, the emotional pay-off of that sacrifice is rendered effectively mute. Black Adam feels like DCEU’s The Avengers if the MCU did everything wrong and had to redo their timeline five times.

And just to be crystal clear, I am not blaming any of the actors. I loved to see Pierce Brosnan still being somewhat cool at his age, and for what it’s worth, I liked Cyclone and Quintessa Swindell. Was she just DCEU’s Storm from the X-Men movies? Yep. Was she also the only Justice Society character that intrigued me? Also, yes, the fact she is stunning is just a plus 😉 But neither Aldis Hodge nor Noah Centineo were bad at their roles; the problem with their characters was just the simple fact they felt like a derivative of many other comic book characters we got to know much better over the years. Nobody gave a lousy performance (at least I didn’t think so); they were all just playing characters nobody except comic book-reading fans recognised. So I (and it seems like many other fans) have had a problem distinguishing them from their other, more famous, and better-executed counterparts.

The one thing I have to compliment, and I honestly believe this made the movie enjoyable on another level, was the soundtrack. Forget about Dwayne; it was Lorne Balfe; who, for me, carried this film on the shoulders of his epic music. Because I noticed all these issues I am talking about while watching the movie in the cinema – Dwayne can’t display his charm, so he feels “off”, CGI that makes everything look the same, Justice Society and their members whose identities have been so secretive I literally didn’t know anyone. And yet, I could never say I was bored or bothered (well, at least at the time). Halfway through the film, I realised it was because of that epic soundtrack that kept me pumped, hyped, whatever you want to call it; I was “it”. So, bravo, Lorne. That was one hell of a job.

Overall, Black Adam felt like it was supposed to be something epic, the start of a possible new journey for the DCEU. Instead, we got an ok introduction to a character we might not see again, a team of brand-new superheroes I couldn’t care less about and a post-credit scene that genuinely intrigued me enough that I was willing to watch a sequel. But now, knowing that even if somehow there is a sequel to Black Adam, the post-credit thing will never happen (at least not as teased by this film), this makes me sad and retrospectively makes me want to deduct some “points” from my overall rating. I won’t because the film still works as this “big, dumb fun” movie that can thank Lorne Balfe for creating that OST. If you are looking for two hours of non-stop action with no stakes and brains, Black Adam will be your favourite movie of the year.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke