Sonic the Hedgehog is definitely a strange movie, as probably for the first time ever, the online backlash to a first trailer was so strong, the entire movie got delayed because of it. If you don’t know what I am referring to, read it for yourself here. So, the Internet won, but did it? Did it actually improve the movie we got? Yes, to a degree.

This movie is definitely better than most of your family oriented movies nowadays, there is no comparison. And it’s also definitely better than most of “based on the video game” movies that came out. But it’s still just slightly better than average. I understand the movie is “trapped” within a construct of a video game based on a really popular game franchise, mainly with children and young(ish) adults, who grew up playing this game. I for one, never actually played a single Sonic game. I always heard about it, knew about a blue hedgehog who runs fast, just never owned the console to be able to play it and now (almost 30 years young) it’s probably not an ideal time for me to get into it, as it definitely seems more kids oriented.

The issue here is it’s still a kids movie, and for plenty of people in Hollywood, that means the story doesn’t have to make sense (at least that’s how it comes across sometimes). Let me give you an example – James Marsden (who’s actually decent in this film) is placed on “most wanted list” or something like that halfway through the movie, for helping Sonic. But do you think that’s addressed, or he seems concerned? Maybe for like a minute, but that’s it. A few throw away jokes and at the end, it’s no big deal. People in Hollywood seem to think kids don’t understand stakes. And I think they underestimate them. The perfect example of this is every Pixar movie ever made – even though they are animated and “kids oriented” films, they don’t dumb anything down, and their movies always have stakes. Not just that, but they deal with heavy subjects all the time, because kids nowadays can handle/process more than they could even 20 years ago. And they realise that.

Sonic the Hedgehog has some funny scenes, some entertaining scenes and yes, the extra time animators took to get the actual Sonic to look less terrifying and more kid friendly did pay off. But, if it didn’t have Jim Carrey, it would have been easily forgettable, because he’s by far the best thing about this movie. It’s not even about his performance, because what he is doing is not anything award worthy. But, you can tell he is having so much fun. I haven’t seen a Jim Carrey movie with him being off the chain like this, for a very long time, maybe since the end of the 90’s. I am not saying he hasn’t done any comedies since, he has, but I have always felt he’s never let himself go as much as he used to. I am really hoping that he will come back for the sequel (yes, there will be a sequel) as they setup his character well. That is definitely one of the best things this movie done, they did manage to get Carrey’s character quite well.

Overall, if you have kids or you yourself grew up playing the Sonic games, check this movie out and you might like it, even possibly love it. I don’t have any bond or attachments to this franchise, so I can only judge it on what I have seen, and Jim Carrey’s performance is pushing it to a slightly better than average comedy, with some moments. Definitely plenty of space for an improvement, hoping the sequel might actually offer us a bit more to chew on.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

The Old Guard is based on a comic book (anybody remotely surprised at this point?) but let’s just get down to the business – it’s Highlander (1986) except without the Queen’s soundtrack, Christopher Lambert or Sean Connery but with Charlize Theron, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Dudley (Harry Melling) from Harry Potter movies, so… upgrade…? Downgrade? I will let you decide. One thing I am clear on is – it brings nothing new to the table and that’s this film’s biggest flaw.

I know, that original ideas are really hard to come by and everything is a recycled idea of something that already existed some time ago. So I am not mad or angry that they have just taken the concept of Highlander, you know what, no. This idea must have existed even before Highlander, so I will just say they have taken the concept of immortal warriors and polished it for a new generation, made it look shiny and exciting and added… a gay couple…? Which, I have no problem with, but thinking back to it, that’s literally the only new(ish) thing The Old Guard does.

Everything else about this movie you can put together in your head before it happens, and the movie feels like the director had a checklist on him, that might have looked like this:

• Immortal soldiers, who are immortal, but only to an extent, which is not defined? ✓
• One of them, who will definitely betray his or her group because he or she is promised death? ✓
• Newbie, who’s just realised she’s immortal, so we can get the important info? ✓
• Vaguely threating bad guy, who just wants to capture them and study them for his evil profit? ✓
• At least one character, who’s hinted at being way older than everybody else, but never specified how old? ✓
• An old friend, who’s separated from their group, mentioned couple of times throughout the movie, so they might make a “surprise” appearance at the end, setting up a sequel? ✓

And I could continue like this for a while, but hopefully, you catch my drift. If you have ever seen a movie, literally nothing about this film will surprise you. Everything is signalled hard, and even the action sequences are nothing special. Yes, Charlize kicks ass, but she’s done this for a few years now, in much better movies, so even that fact won’t give this movie any extra “edge”. I did like KiKi Layne‘s performance and I hope we will see her in more movies to come, as with what she’s been given, I thought she did well, and to be fair, most of the actors did the best they could. I am saying most of them, as I need to name one actor, who (for me) didn’t work at all and that is already mentioned Harry Melling. I don’t why, whether his character was off, or whether he received directions that weren’t that great, but he felt like he’s in completely different movie altogether. Now, I have yet to seen The Queen’s Gambit (2020) where I’ve heard he’s great, so I don’t think the problem was with Harry per say. But I do think the villain character in a movie like this should be either really sinister, or bat shit crazy. He was neither, and kind of just… there.

But here is the thing – The Old Guard‘s issue are not the actors. It’s the template like style or story-telling, where you know what’s going to happen before it happens. You know the next turn, before the movie makes it. But I can’t really blame the director, or the screenwriter for this, as I do think there is something else at play – the medium itself. Let me explain. I genuinely believe this could have been a kick ass TV show. It doesn’t need bigger than life budget, but what it needs is to give us backstories for all the members of this immortal warrior crew, and because the movie can’t be too long, you can’t really dig deep, especially if you have a crew of 5/6 people. This could have been a decent TV show, for maybe just 2/3 seasons, and the great thing about it, you don’t really have to change the story that much! First season can be spread around backstories intertwined with the newbie + the villain, the second season could be around the “surprise” villain, who shows up at the end of season one (or this movie) and their backstory, how that affects the group, and the third season… they can go to space, as that’s where the other franchises seem to be heading to? 🙂 Ok, the last part is obviously a joke, but I think that is why this movie for me couldn’t be any better, because it’s as good as the medium allows it to be. Unfortunately.

Overall, The Old Guard is perfectly fine film, that is probably the best the filmmakers could do within the limitation of the medium. Is it possible, that even the TV show I am pitching would not be any better? Honestly, yes, nothing is ever guaranteed but death and taxes, but to me, it would have been at least experiment worth trying, as this genre (people living throughout centuries) is fascinating and it should be given a proper treatment, so we can watch somebody’s psyche over period of centuries, or even millennium or two… how would that look like? I feel like there are so many ways you could take these characters, the possibilities should be endless.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

The Grinch is definitely one of the better movies that came out of Illumination Entertainment. Yes, the studio behind the Despicable Me trilogy, that had also given us minions, and not just the annoying yellow creatures, that somehow became the template for all of your “cool” auntie’s memes (if you don’t believe me, google “Minion memes” and hate me later) but also the movie called Minions (2015), that is somehow slightly better rated than this movie…? Which I do find strange, as you can clearly tell by the animation (and partially by the “humour”) that they are done by the same studio, yet The Grinch at least tries to have a bit of heart to it, whereas Minions… is just a film, that’s one punchline joke. But on that some other time (hopefully never).

Don’t get me wrong, this movie isn’t miles better, not at all. It’s slightly better, as the voice casting is great (from the main character voiced by Benedict Cumberbatch, to Rashida Jones and to top it all off, we have a narrator who is no other than Pharrell Williams) and as I have mentioned prior, it’s trying really hard to have a heart, and a feel good message towards the end. Unfortunately, this being a classic tale, you can obviously tell where everything is going, therefore we can only judge this movie based on the way it presents the story and… I don’t think there was anything new, that’s worth it in the long run.

What I mean by that, is it feels exactly the same as the How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) except this one is animated and there is a subplot with the little girl’s mom being overworked. That’s pretty much the difference. It feels weird seeing almost the same movie, except it’s 18 years later and now, it’s animated. And that just seems really lazy to me. It’s almost like the people behind this movie had a conversation about doing something different, just for it to fell apart halfway through and they ended up realizing the first idea someone’s nephew said that one time, that is how random this feels.

The Grinch is not bad movie by any means, it’s just really forgettable. How forgettable, you ask? Well, it has been a week or so since I have seen it, and I can’t honestly remember much of it. I remember watching it, I remember sometimes laughing a bit, I remember thinking Pharell’s voice is really pleasant and relaxing and I also remember thinking the ending was slightly better, than the rest of the movie. Originally, I have rated it 3.5* (or 7/10 on IMDb), but writing this review now, trying to scramble my brain for any one particular scene, funny, serious, or anything in between… I’ve got nothing. Nada. Zilch. I can’t remember a single scene that would stood out to me. So I had to something I sometimes do, re-rate the movie after a bit of time has passed. As this movie might not be as unfunny, or average as Minions, but that’s a really low bar to climb. It’s like being grateful for only catching the “good old COVID-19” and not the new strain of it. Sure, I guess it’s better, but I would rather have neither.

Overall, The Grinch is a movie to watch, if you have kids. They will probably fall in love with it, you can catch a break and everybody wins. Unfortunately for this film, I don’t have kids, so I can’t rate it from that perspective. And from the enjoyment point of view, this movie is just slightly above the absolute average, and I think the main reason is the (voice) talent behind it. This holiday season, you can definitely watch something much, much better. Like the movie I will review this Friday… 😉

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Practical Magic is the perfect example of a movie, that has everything going for it. From the story/outline (witches exist and live among us) to casting (always had a weak spot for both Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman) everything seems to be where it needs to in order for this film to be a great one. Except there is one tiny thing this movie didn’t do properly – establish any rules! Which, if your main selling point is witches and magic, is kinda important.

What frustrated me with this movie more than anything, is I am not even talking about re-writing the entire thing, or saying the movie overall is not watchable, as it is. Literally only thing that would help out this movie massively, would be inserting two, three lines maximum about the actual powers these witches posses! What can they do? What can’t they do? Is there a limit to their powers?

The reason I am asking these questions, is quite simple. Throughout this movie, our main duo finds themselves in a few situations, where, I don’t know, maybe a bit of magic could help them sort it out within a second, yet they don’t use it…? Or if they use it, they only do minor things…? The problem with any magic being in your movie is you need to spend some time on rules, otherwise the audience can just say something like “Hey, how come they can’t magic their way out of this situation? Oh, they can’t? Because they don’t have that kind of power, huh? Ok, one more question, HOW am I supposed to know that?!”

What hurts even more with this movie is if only those rules were established, Practical Magic could have been one of those movie I would love to go back to, every once in a while, as everything else is great. The cast is great, the story is fairly compelling, but the longer it goes, the more questions you have and the end… ok, let’s talk about the ending here, because Jesus on a pogo stick, that was confusing.

Beware, SPOILERS are coming!

The entire film we see how all people in this small town are afraid of this family, how it’s “public secret” this family are witches and how some of them even hate them because of it. Yet, when they need “help” to create a coven of witches, so the last spell would work, suddenly, plenty of those same women are only one phone call away to help them out…? First of all, what?! How? How did the family manage to persuade them to suddenly help them out? Also, does that mean all the women that came out to help out are also witches, therefore were hating their own kind? And if not, if they are just “regular ass women”, would they posses any power to actually help out the witches with their spell in the first place? So many questions. I know the movie is trying to have this all empowering message about unity, womanhood and all that, which is great and all, but not in this instance, as it doesn’t feel earned. It feels like somebody cut out a good hour or so of the movie that explained everything, just for the fun of it, with no real reason behind it.

Practical Magic to me is a flawed movie, that had potential and all the elements of being a pretty great film in it, just the people making it didn’t fully grasp the potential. To me, these are the movies we should remake (I mean, if the studios really can’t come up with something original and we have to have remakes of movies in the first place) – the movies that had potential, that had good stories, that could have done with somebody different going over the material and making it better. Don’t tamper with well beloved films people already managed to make great, give chance to movies like this! I could easily imagine this today, as the story doesn’t need any changing, just again, give it to somebody, who would establish some rules within the universe and you are almost there. All the “hard work” has been done, we just need to iron out the details.

If you aren’t a fan of either Sandra or Nicole, first of all, why? Second, and most importantly of all, deduct one star from my final rating, as those two working so well together is the only reason my rating is as high as it is. Sometimes, my brain says one thing, but my heart and soul can’t fully hate a movie with two of them in it. 🙂

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Alfie is one of those “let’s re-do something, that was unique a few decades back” remakes. Unfortunately, the people behind this film failed to understand why the original Alfie (1966) was the unique hit, that put Michael Caine on the map. It wasn’t about him being the womanizing Brit, who can seduce pretty much anybody he wants. It was about that lifestyle, and consequences of that lifestyle (yes, that one scene), that didn’t shy away from talking about difficult issues, back in 1966!

Let’s take a look what these films have in common – objectively good looking English man, who’s playing the game, just so he gets “beaten” in the same game at the very end, learning (or maybe not) his lesson during it. Both Michal Caine and Jude Law are stylish, suave, and you believe them that they can pretty much get anybody who they demand. But, that’s where the similarities end.

This remake did something, that puzzled me – it took out any sense of risk, or “danger” the original had going for it. Let me explain – both movies have a subplot about Alfie possibly being sick with some sort of STD. The original spends quite a big part of that movie on this, and you actually are worried about Alfie, as everything seems dark for him. He’s in very bad place and you trust him that. Whereas this movie deals with this subplot in about 10 minutes, or what felt like 10 minutes, where it seemed like Jude Law isn’t even that bothered by that. It’s almost like this movie wanted to have all the “fun, glittery” bits of the original without any of the reality bits part of it. Which defeats the point of the movie. I do need to get into the spoilers for both this remake and the original film, so…

Beware, SPOILERS are coming!

The main thing about the original was the abortion scene. No matter where you stand on this issue, it will make you truly uncomfortable, as it is meant to do that. That is why the original made such a big mark on everybody, especially in the late 60’s! And this remake tried to do the same, except since it’s now taking place in America (oh yeah, in this remake, Alfie is a Brit who lives in New York, for reasons?) I guess the filmmakers felt like the audience was not ready to have that conversation (even though it was in 2004) so they make you believe it happens, just to undo it, and have a surprise “Alfie’s got a daughter” scene. Which is not really a surprise. And that totally undercuts anything this might have had going for it. I am not saying since this is a remake, everything needs to be exactly the same, no. It’s great when remakes try to do things differently. But maybe don’t change the most impactful part of the original movie? It’s like remaking Star Wars and instead of Darth Vader being Luke’s father, it would have been his great-uncle he’s never met and isn’t really important to the overall story.

To me, this Alfie is personification (or filmonification… that’s definitely a word, right?) of “having your cake and eating it too” movie, where they remake something, that used to be almost revolutionary, take the flashy, sexy bits, and leave everything of substance on the floor. And that is a shame, as this cast (already mentioned Jude Law, Marisa Tomei, Omar Epps, Nia Long, Susan Sarandon and Sienna Miller) is definitely deserving of a better movie. But I do need to say, especially Sienna Miller really did something here, as I don’t think I have seen her be as great, especially considering the limited time she had in this movie.

Overall, if you are looking for an easy watch, where you don’t have to think too much, you don’t want to worry about anything and watch couple of sexy people live their best and sometimes worst lives, Alfie might be for you. But if you are looking for something, that will stay with you for some time, even though it might make you feel uneasy, I would highly recommend the original version.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

I might be in the minority, but I would rather watch an awful movie, than the most average movie ever made. And I will tell you why. You will always remember great movies, so that is why I am not even going to mention them. And you will, by their nature, remember something that was just bad, didn’t sit with you well, or bored you… whatever your definition of a bad movie is. But, to me the worst thing is a movie, that’s so average, you don’t really remember anything from it a week from watching it. And that is Rumor Has It…

This movie is a textbook definition of as average as it gets. The story seems intriguing in the beginning, just for it to fall into the stereotypical (unfortunately unfunny) traps of current “comedies”, where you can not only tell what is coming, but on top of that, you can almost always predict who is going to speak up next, what they are going to say… Which is a shame, as the story was intriguing and the cast is great!

Jennifer Aniston made this right after Friends (1994 – 2004) finished their run, so she was still going strong from there, Kevin Costner is welcome addition most of the time and Mark Ruffalo with Richard Jenkins complete the list of great people, having nothing much to do here. I had purposely left one name out, because she, at least for me, made this movie watchable, stole the movie, and only because of her I am rating this movie slightly above the average mark this film deserves. Yes, Shirley MacLaine was the only person in this entire movie that made me laugh every time she was on the screen. She also looked like the only actor who had any kind of fun making this movie.

Which is definitely a disappointment, as with great names like these, you would at least expect something above the average, especially with Jennifer coming off one of the most popular comedy shows of all time. To be fair, she wasn’t bad but any means, neither of the big names I have just listed were necessarily bad, they were just… bland. And that is what makes Rumor Has It… one of the most average movies that ever movied in the history of movies. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen it and I swear I can maybe remember one or two scenes, and that is about it. Usually, that’s not a case for me, as when comes to remembering pointless things, my memory is excellent. 😉

This is also something I struggle with when comes to average movies – they are really hard to review properly. To give you an example – think of the best food you’ve ever tasted. Now try to describe it, and why you loved it so much. Now, think of the worst food you’ve tasted and again, describe what made it “the worst”. And now, tell me about that one salad you had a few weeks ago. Or that one store bought sandwich from last week. Exactly, there is nothing much to say, as it doesn’t matter if it’s movies or food, great/not so great experiences are memorable. The most mundane, average movies/food we don’t even realise consuming, as that’s just “yet another one of those”. That is why I’d have a hard time recommending this movie to anybody, even though I loved Shirley in it, because it is just “another one of those” you have watched thousands times prior. Nothing surprises you.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

I need to admit something – unlike plenty of people, I have only seen the original Zombieland (2009) once and that was the year it came out. For me, it was enjoyable movie, which I remember fondly (even though I wonder how it would play for me today) but I wasn’t really craving “seconds”, never thought this film should have had a sequel. But I am not a Hollywood producer, who were trying to make something happen ever since the first one came out, but didn’t have the script ready, or the main actors weren’t available. But finally, it happened and 10 years later, the result is… meh.

Zombieland: Double Tap is one of those sequels that definitely counts on you going in and LOVING the original. And that means you want to see plenty of the original movie to be referenced here, right? No, you don’t want that? Would you rather have meaningful story line that makes sense within that world and characters who have some growth? Well, then look way further than this movie, because this ain’t it, chief. I am not saying Zombieland: Double Tap is a horrible movie, not by any means. It’s just fairly repetitive, all the beats seemed really familiar (and I need to mention this again, I’ve only seen the first movie once, 10 years ago!) and most of the jokes were predictable. That was the case until Madison (character played by Zoey Deutch) showed up.

I don’t know how they’ve managed to do it, or whether there is just something about Zoey, but she was THE standout performance of this movie. Which is strange, as her character of super-dumb, yet friendly (really friendly) blond girl is nothing new and most of the time is actually really annoying character addition. But she reacts to everything with such a sincerity and all her line readings always landed where they had to, it’s almost impossible not to laugh at almost everything she says. I am not even overstating anything when I say I only laughed at her jokes. They also were smart about her character not becoming the annoying one, so they’ve done something, that I appreciated. Since it’s a new a movie, I won’t say anything more, but that definitely was a smart decision and played well.

The other jokes delivered by the main foursome (technically just a threesome as Abigail Breslin is basically here as almost a glorified cameo) were fine, but they all seemed kind of over this movie, mainly Emma Stone. I don’t know whether this was the direction she was given, or they just dumped a truck full of money in her garden to make this movie and she wanted two trucks, but she seemed checked out in most of her scenes. And she’s somebody who usually is the standout in most of her movies. Truly strange.

This movie also wastes perfectly fine Rosario Dawson (because Woody Harrelson definitely needed that love interest) and Thomas Middleditch, so that’s not helped to make this film’s case. What did help was the runtime, as it never feels boring, there is always something happening and as far as the comedy sequels made long after their first films, this one is not that bad. But it doesn’t stand on its own. And the world of zombies should give you plenty of choices on how to spin a sequel into something not as predictable.

If it wasn’t for Zoey Deutch, actress who I am going to follow with more interest from now on, my final score would’ve been a bit lower, and I would be forced to write something along the lines “there is no one scene or character that’s memorable”. Luckily, she’s here, so there is a reason for you to watch this and who knows? Maybe you’ll enjoy it much better than I have. Just get ready for plenty of the same where at the end, not much has changed.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke