It’s been a while since I have seen The Wicker Man (1973), but I remember liking it. Yes, it was weird, creepy, and slightly all over the place, but there was this almost hypnotising beauty to it. Well, this movie seems like it was ahead of its time (a bit) and took it as almost a challenge to remake this film into something much weirder. Do you remember, a couple of years ago, there were (and to a point, still are) challenges for everything (cinnamon, planking, knife etc.)? It seemed like this movie went ahead and challenged itself that they could do a film that’s much weirder than its predecessor. Even though nobody wanted it, needed it or even challenged them…? And that’s how we got The Wicker Man. The myth, the legend of a film… for all the wrong reasons, unfortunately.

First of all, let’s address the Cage in the room. I mean, eleph… never mind, we all know. Even if you have never seen this film, you have probably watched the infamous “Not the BEES!” scene on YouTube. I know I had. And imagine my absolute disgust when I realised the awful version of this awful movie DID NOT have that scene? Yes, there are apparently two versions of this film, and somehow I have seen the one without that glorious scene? How is that even possible?

The Wicker Man is, to put it mildly, a terrible movie. And not because it’s weird or hilarious at times when it doesn’t mean to be (the flashback scene Nicolas Cage keeps having, mainly on the boat, is the most I’ve laughed in a while), no. It’s a terrible movie, because and I don’t say this lightly – nothing works here. The story drags on even though it’s supposed to be “mysterious”. Everybody’s acting dial is turned to 11, when the movie required maybe six, possibly seven at times. The dialogue is wooden. The camera looks off. And then we have Nic Cage. We need to talk about Nic Cage.

Look, I like him. I am one of those people who admires the choices he makes, even though they are often unconventional. I 100% agreed with him winning the Oscar for his performance in Leaving Las Vegas (1995) because I thought that even though, at times, it might have been “out there”, I believed him. But in this film, it’s like he’s not on the same planet anymore. It’s like he took some new drugs that transported his soul onto a different, parallel universe, and he made all the choices based on that skewed universe, where they might have made sense. But in our universe, his performance stands out so much movie fans often talk about Cage being awful, resulting in this movie being rubbish. But I would argue the film might be even worse, but somehow, Cage’s performance is so distracting we (the viewers) often forget how awful everything around Cage is, so he is the final nail in this coffin of a movie.

I go into every film trying to find something positive, to like it. You might have noticed that I often rate movies higher than other film people. But in this instance, I can’t do it. The only “good” thing I can say about The Wicker Man is, at times, you might find yourself laughing. But unfortunately, even that is wrong, as what you will laugh at wasn’t meant to be funny.

Maybe one more thing before I sign off – this movie made me realise how much I miss seeing Leelee Sobieski in films. As with everybody else in this film, she wasn’t great. But she’s always had this presence about her in every movie I’ve seen her in, and there is something mysteriously charming about her eyes; I simply can’t get over it. I know she’s retired from acting, but I hope she might reconsider and come back. There is simply something about her, even in this abomination.

Overall, The Wicker Man is a disaster masked as a film. If you want to see something unique, do yourself a favour and watch the original instead of this remake. And I am not saying that as somebody who would be “crazy in love” with the original either (it was a solid 3.5* for me). But this film… it’s honestly spectacular how every choice they’ve made was somehow wrong.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

I went into Encanto knowing absolutely nothing about it. I’ve only heard it’s a new Pixar movie, seen the poster, and that was it. I didn’t know who was voicing the characters, what the story/themes were, nothing at all. And maybe that is why I loved it.

I like the approach Disney/Pixar seems to be taking lately, focusing on stories from all around the world, exploring different cultures and giving actors from that culture/part of the world the chance to voice the characters. I am 100% behind this, and Encanto proves; why this is a clever move from Disney. Because if you strip everything down to its bare bones, it’s a pretty simple story about family and the pressure facing kids, specifically if your parents (or in this case, pretty much everybody around you) has something you don’t have. How that can make you feel self-conscious, wrong and how hard it is to “live up” to somebody else’s standards. In this case, it’s more mysterious, as this film deals with magic and how everyone in this big family has magical powers except her.

Strangely enough, this might be one of the most light-hearted Pixar films we’ve seen in quite some time, even despite these pretty weighty themes. The movie is colourful and, for lack of a better term, living. Maybe that is why I haven’t had issues as others had (given by IMDb’s rating of “only” 7.3/10). Yes, Encanto isn’t going to crack my TOP 3 or even 5 of Pixar films. But the thing is, it doesn’t have to. Sometimes it is fine having the conflict resolved fast as we can focus on the family part of the film and how important forgiveness is. To realize just because you aren’t doing what your family thought you might do with your life, that is fine. As long as you are happy, they are (hopefully) happy for you, and more importantly, with you.

I need to go back to the animation style. I know saying: “Look how gorgeous it is” might seem like a waste of time, letters and data on the Internet, but I need to say it because not only this movie looks stunning, it feels alive. I think that is something people are not talking about enough – the magic here doesn’t just serve to “shame” our main protagonist, who has none of it. Everything is magical, including the house. And the animators had a lot of fun with that, and in turn, I had a lot of fun watching this film. I loved how playful everything felt, how the colour tone felt warmer and more personal, and everybody’s powers were unique.

Also, let’s talk about voice casting. I will never get used to the fact Stephanie Beatriz sounds like this. For those of you unfamiliar with her, she played Rosa Diaz on Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013 – 2021, my review here), and she decided for the entirety of that show to lower her voice registry, unbelievably. So every time I hear her actual voice, whether it’s in interviews or here, I can never recognise her. And she’s nailed the performance. I was not familiar with María Cecilia Botero, but I thought she was perfect. Why? Because I believed/wanted her to be my grandma. She seemed to put a lot of warmth in her performance, even in the scenes where it didn’t necessarily show and even though I am not Colombian, I think we could all relate to having a grandma like her. And Diane Guerrero, one of the most stunning women on this planet, portraying a flawless character? Simply a great decision to have her, and her voice is also pleasant to listen to.

I will show my cards here – I have seen the “other” Pixar film that came out in 2021, Luca. And to a degree, you could say they are identical. Not regarding themes or stories, but both are more light-hearted in tone, despite their stories still dealing with some heavier themes. But seeing Luca a few days after Encanto made me realise that Encanto did this better…? Or maybe it’s fairer to say I connected more to this film and the family theme more than with Luca? Yes, I think that’s a bit fairer. And don’t worry, I liked Luca, and a review is coming your way.

Overall, Encanto is a stunning and heartwarming movie about the importance of forging your own path, forgiveness and most importantly, family. How yes, where you come from is important, but at the same time, it’s not everything, and if you want to forge a path of your own, you need to embrace yourself. It also serves as a reminder to stop comparing ourselves to others; it does not matter if they are your friends or family. I will happily revisit this movie as I have enjoyed spending time with this magical family.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

This is the kind of review I always feel the need to state that I have never consumed drugs. But I think if I had, I would perceive time and space kind of like this movie. It reminds me of David Lynch, who is one of my favourite filmmakers ever, where you are not sure what you are watching. Whether it’s a dream or reality. Is it a horror, drama, psycho-thriller? Comedy? Tough to say, for the most part. And yet, you can’t look away, and the movie never bores you. That is if you are into movies like this.

The Strange Colour of Your Body’s Tears (original title L’étrange couleur des larmes de ton corps) is a fascinating movie. Mainly because it starts in so innocently straightforward way. Just read this summary below:

Returning home from a business trip to discover his wife missing, a man delves deeper and deeper into a surreal kaleidoscope of half-baked leads, seduction, deceit, and murder. Does anyone in the building know something?

Source: IMDb.com

And the first 20 minutes or so seem relatively simple to follow. But then this movie starts to delve into… I don’t even know what. Dreams? Surrealism? Time travel? Honestly, I could answer all three of those with “yes”, and it would somehow make sense, and at the same time didn’t at all. And this is the beauty of this film.

Because to me, movies like these are the reason I love cinema. Nothing else manages to transport you into almost another state of mind, another dimension just like these “balls to the walls” films. They are going for something, and it’s fully up to the audience, whether they are on board with it or not. I don’t mind these films if they give me hints throughout them; that would point me in some direction. And in this film, I believe there might be some. That’s why I mentioned time travel, as I have a theory, that somehow our protagonist is stuck between present, future and past? How? Why? Am I right? I don’t know how, why, and I wouldn’t be surprised if I was mistaken. But guess what, that’s ok, to be wrong.

I always wonder, if I were to take drugs before watching something like this, how would it affect me? Would I enjoy myself, to the point I would be shouting from the rooftops about this movie? Or would I go into a deep spiral, where the different eye close-ups would haunt me until I’d sober up? I’ve heard stories about people who enjoy the occasional weed and how they watch movies like this to enjoy themselves more, and I always wondered about how would I enjoy myself? See? The art of cinema truly has the power to take you to some unexpected places, where you wonder whether or not you should start smoking weed.

As you can tell, it’s almost impossible to write a review for this unique film. But I wanted to, even if I convinced one person or put this film on their radar and they would watch it, I would be happy. It doesn’t happen too often that movie ends, and I want to re-watch it straightaway. Even with A++ films, it rarely happens, the feeling of “I need to watch it again, now!” But it happened with this film. I didn’t end up re-watching it, as I had things to do that day. But I think that’s the best I can say about this film. I had no idea what I was watching, yet I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen. And when it was over, I was so fascinated with the visuals, the story, the characters, I wanted to watch it again. Just to see whether I could figure it out. This beautiful looking mess.

Overall, The Strange Colour of Your Body’s Tears is as trippy as if David Lynch got high on coffee and cocaine at the same time. It can be disturbing at some points, kind of funny at other times, and the movie engages you for its entire length. What’s more, this might be one of the most unique looking and beautiful movies I have seen in some time, and that is saying something. If you are like me and enjoy films that make you question whether drugs are a good idea or not, give this a try. I can’t guarantee you will like it, but I think you won’t forget it any time soon.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

I understand I might be in the total minority, but I enjoyed Mortal Kombat (1995) for what it was. Did it make sense? No. Was it cheesy (some might say delightfully, others might say something about too much cheesiness can kill you and your movie) and 90s as fuck? Yes. And I say that as a person who hasn’t played the original games. Maybe that’s the reason I was never too disappointed, or possibly I just wanted to see a film, where people would fight each other while some 90s techno would blast loudly and proudly. I would love to say it’s my guilty pleasure, but I don’t feel guilty watching it.

When I saw the first trailer for this new version of Mortal Kombat, I was delighted. It looked like it would be fun while “fixing” the biggest flow with the 90s version – no blood/fatalities. But then, when the movie got released, the movie got mixed reviews. So my initial enthusiasm faded a bit, and I forgot about this film until it arrived on one of my streaming services. The moment I saw it on there, I immediately knew. I was watching it right then; no more waiting. And I was surprised, how much I have enjoyed myself.

Mortal Kombat has managed to “fix” the issue its predecessor had and delivered a lot of blood and fatalities. But funnily enough (and this might be a bit of a SPOILER, but hey, it’s a Mortal Kombat movie), it created a different “issue” that didn’t bother me but seemed to bother others – there is no Mortal Kombat. Because as we all know, that is the name of the tournament, where everything is at stake. The fate of humanity. Yes, it’s precisely, as it was in the previous one, humans didn’t have great fighters, so they (yet again!) lost nine consecutive tournaments. If they lose one more time, that’s it for planet Earth. Except in this newest reincarnation, the “other side” doesn’t want to wait until the tournament starts, and we watch this movie about the Outworld trying to cheat its way, trying to eliminate the fighters before Mortal Kombat even starts.

And here’s the dilemma for the viewer. You can either complain about the rules not being clear, or the fact that technically the movie doesn’t deliver on its fundamental premise (no Mortal Kombat), or you can enjoy the ride. For example, if the Outworld are not worried about the humans, why not wait and eliminate them at the tournament? Or why would the “Gods”, who are supposed to watch over the rules, allow this to happen? But I didn’t worry about that and enjoyed the ride and what a ride it was. I liked how all human heroes had to discover what their arcana was (each heroes’ ultimate power move). I liked the fight sequences and the fact they weren’t shying away from the blood and gore.

What surprised me the most was how much I enjoyed the cast. Specifically, I need to name the two standouts in my eyes – Jessica McNamee (Sonya Blade) and Josh Lawson (Kano). Ladies first, so let’s talk about Jessica. She doesn’t have a muscular physique like Gina Carano/Ronda Rousey and (as far as I know) doesn’t have their background fighting-wise, but she is no less convincing in her role of tough woman, who could take down pretty much anybody. Jessica commands the screen, and in her fight scenes, I have 100% believed she would be one bad-ass fighter. But and I can’t believe I am saying this, Josh Lawson stole the movie. His Kano is one of those characters who could have easily been so annoying, one punch line figure who is just there to be cheeky and in between good and evil. And he undoubtedly starts this film very much like this. But the more screen time he gets and the more his character gets fleshed out (aka he chooses his alliances), the better he gets. Don’t get me wrong, nobody here is giving an Oscar-worthy performance. But his asshole Kano was so fun to watch; you don’t want to root for him because he is a dick. But Josh plays him so well, and he knows when to lean more into the “goofy/annoying side” and when to switch to the more threatening side of that character; he made him stand out for me. And that is almost a miracle having a character like him, who is the definition of “love to hate him”. Bravo.

When the movie finished, I was hyped. I thought the film delivered on everything I hoped it would… well, minus the actual tournament. And yes, even though it seems silly in a movie called Mortal Kombat to forget to show us the literal tournament, I ultimately liked that decision. Because I enjoyed the journey and wasn’t too worried about the destination. I thought this was a great first film in something I hope could become a trilogy, possibly? Because for my money, they built this world quite well in this film so in the next one we could focus more on our characters, introducing new characters (the fan favourite Johnny Cage, who was “hinted” at the end of this film would be a great addition) and get to the tournament.

Overall, Mortal Kombat delivered on everything I hoped it would. Nowadays, we get a bunch of movies that try to hide behind the “we are just simple action films, switch your brains entertainment”, but rarely do those films entertain you. But there was something about Mortal Kombat that, put it in pretty straightforward terms, just worked, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. The action sequences were great, the cast was promising, and the world-building was done well enough that you can easily see a movie or two that could expend on what this one set up. If you are looking for a simple “punch first, ask questions later” film and don’t mind the occasional cliche or two, then Mortal Kombat might be for you.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Believe it or not, but until recently, I have not watched a single Muppets movie or TV show. Yes, I did see the occasional YouTube clip, and I am aware of Muppets, but it’s not something I grew up watching. But sooner or later, being a movie fan, you can’t escape the Muppets. And when I was looking at some Christmas classics I have never seen, The Muppet Christmas Carol showed up on my list. After checking with a few good people at SiftPop (I wanted to make sure this would be a good one to jump into if I have never seen any other Muppets movies), I gave this a chance. And I was surprised how much I loved it.

First of all, I know of the book A Christmas Carol even though I’ve never read it (believe it or not, it’s not that adored in the Czech Republic, but I remember learning about it and Dickens). Then, I had seen A Christmas Carol (2009, my review here) starring Jim Carrey as Scrooge and thought it was a great story in a decent film with Carrey over-acting at times and dated CGI. That was a few months ago, and I hadn’t thought about it until I’ve watched this Muppet version of what probably is the most famous Christmas story. And who would’ve thought everything here would work so well?

I can’t say The Muppet Christmas Carol is the best version of that story, simply because I have not seen the other versions. What I can say is I can’t imagine what could possibly be improved upon now. Because this story starts and ends with Scrooge, and if you don’t have yourself a great Scrooge, the movie won’t make any impact. That is where Sir Michael Caine steps in to deliver one of his best performances…? In a Muppet movie? Yep, I couldn’t believe it, but it is true. From the beginning of this movie, you feel his presence, and he is the standout of this film. He never lets his guard down; he never winks at the camera or acknowledges the fact that he is acting “against” the Muppets. And that was a very conscious choice of his that could have made him look like a fool. Except, it’s Sir Michael Caine, and he understood why he made that choice. He understood that if we didn’t trust his character being an evil person at the start, we couldn’t buy into anything else. Muppets or no Muppets, the heart of the story is Scrooge and his redemption. And he delivered.

Another thing that surprised me was how much I had enjoyed the “actual” Muppets. They fit in the story, the film, their style of humour wasn’t clashing with the narrative. On the contrary, having two Muppets narrate the story was a genius idea, and it helped to deliver “more Dickens” on the screen. And even if this was meant for the kids, I could watch it today (being 30 years old) and laugh at it too while being invested in the story. I often write about this “phenomenon” of some kids movies being too dumb because the adults behind them think children will eat anything up. And this movie proves that no, you can have a balance. You can make silly jokes, but at the same time, you can have some meat on your bones in the kids’ movie because they can handle/process much more than you think. And this was in 1992!

On the technical side, if you are like me and watch it for the first time on Disney+, make sure to watch the deleted scene “When Love is Gone” under Extras. And instead of me trying to explain it, see it for yourself as to why producers felt the need to remove it (a wrong move, btw, the song works and shows us Scrooge’s emotional depth):

The song “When Love Is Gone”, sung by Belle, was dropped from the theatrical release (over the objections of producer and director Brian Henson) at the request of Disney chairman Jeffrey Katzenberg, who considered it too sad for young children.) The last-minute decision resulted in a jarring edit in the scene from which it was removed, and caused some confusion about Scrooge, Gonzo, and Rizzo’s reactions. The scene was restored in the VHS, LaserDisc, and first DVD (full screen) releases, but it isn’t used in television airings, Blu-ray releases, or the Netflix or Disney+ version. However, it is available as an “EXTRAS” option on Disney+. In mid-December 2020, Brian Henson announced that the original negatives for the removed scene had been found and would be re-instated (back) into the film, hopefully in time for its 30th anniversary in 2022.

Source: IMDb.com

I don’t know why I avoided any Muppets films. I think there might have been a part of me that thought I wouldn’t appreciate them. Thinking about it, yeah, I might have thought to myself that since I didn’t grow up watching the Muppets, now it might be too late to get into them, trying to catch up. But it seems like I was wrong. I was genuinely surprised by how heartwarming, funny and entertaining this movie was. So, yeah, I might get to watch more Muppets movies in the future. And I can’t wait to see them.

Overall, The Muppet Christmas Carol delivered everything I didn’t know I wanted/needed. The movie is funny, heartwarming, has a lot of catchy songs and at its core, it has Sir Michael Caine, who delivers one of his best performances. If you are like me and have never watched any Muppets film or you might be looking for something to watch during the holidays, this movie holds up beautifully. And to be clear, this wasn’t the last time I’ve seen this film, that is for sure.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Throughout my first (and probably last) ever watch of this Santa Clause trilogy, I’ve repeatedly asked myself a question: “Am I too old for this? To see past this trilogy’s flaws and just enjoy them for what they are?” And while watching The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause, I felt like the Principal Skinner meme (“No, it’s the children who are wrong!“) because they simply are. Look, I can somewhat see how people can enjoy the first two films (The Santa Clause, 1994, my review here and The Santa Clause 2, 2002, my review here) of this trilogy, but with this one… if you can enjoy it because you grew up watching it, great. I am honestly happy for you. But we need to be honest here and admit that this sequel is the one that stretches everything to the maximum, mainly our patience.

The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (that’s a long title) felt like a movie pitch someone made as a joke, and the studio was so desperate for another Christmas movie with already established IP (intellectual property) they just said: “Sure.” And didn’t ask questions like: “Are we sure we have a story to support a feature-length film?” or “Are we sure this makes sense and isn’t too contrived even for a kids movie?” And that was 100% a mistake because that was precisely how I felt watching this film. Through its entire length (only 97 minutes, but it felt like double that), the movie spends most of its time setting up a villain in Jack Frost (played by Martin Short) because… he is mad nobody takes him seriously? On top of that, we get the family plot-line with pregnant Elizabeth Mitchell and her parents (how did they get Ann-Margret and Alan Arkin to star in this film, I will never understand) visiting the North Pole. Except, they don’t know it is the North Pole, and everybody is pretending it’s Canada. And look, it’s kind of funny the first two or three times, but even that joke overstays its welcome.

Unfortunately, that sentence could be the real sub-title for this movie, “The Santa Clause 3: Overstaying its Welcome”. If you think about how hard is it to make a decent comedy sequel that doesn’t feel cheap, and it’s still funny, imagine that, but times ten. Because I think they set themselves up with an almost impossible task – not only to make a sequel but to make a Christmas movie sequel. They were trying to replicate not only the laughs but something that can’t be duplicated – the spirit of (mainly) the first film. Here’s the thing – the creative people behind this realised that, but it was too late to do anything. So what can you do if you can’t recreate the Christmas magic? You double, no, triple down on the “comedy” of everything. Farts, kids like farts, right? Let them rip Puns about Canada! Sold, what’s next?! Seeing Jack Frost sabotaging everything? Hillarious! Also, you can bet that everything gets resolved within a minute.

You might have noticed I didn’t talk too much about the “plot” yet. That’s because there isn’t much to talk about, as everything in this film felt random. Suddenly, snow globes are not only important, but they are a vital part of being Santa, and you can always take it back…? Take back being Santa? What? How? And the way Santa is “tricked” into saying the one phrase that can activate it is just beyond ridiculous. Look, I understand the concept of “It’s a kids movie.” But I honestly believe that people behind this film still thought kids are so dumb, they will go with whatever they serve them. If the rise of Pixar proved anything, is the kids can handle much more layered themes and stories without the need to dumb everything down for them.

Thinking about how surprisingly great this cast is (everyone but David Krumholtz returned) for this final movie, plus we have two “new” great actors to portray Elizabeth’s parents, and this is the best they had? What could have (and should have, to be honest) been one last hoorah for most of the cast and crew just turned into a messy “adventure” that doesn’t make sense, tries to earn some cheap “sentimentality points”, and doesn’t work on any level.

The only saving grace for this movie is the cast, mainly our titular duo – Tim Allen and Elizabeth Mitchell. I can honestly say they both seemed to be doing their very best for this film not to end up like a disaster and didn’t seem to be “over it”. Everybody else (Martin Short included) did their very best with what they were given and had some moments but not enough. But I wouldn’t blame them. Because again, this idea would have been much better for a short movie (maybe some reunion special) that’d run for a maximum of 30 minutes, rather than a feature-length film.

Overall, The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause is one way, how not to finish your trilogy. All the elements and cast are there, but the main ingredient (a story that makes sense) was missing. So prepare yourself for a villain everyone should see through instantly, for pregnant Mrs Clause (will the elves deliver the baby?), and some weird time travelling stuff. I can’t imagine anyone enjoying this film unless you grew up watching it every Christmas. And even then, you’d know this was, without any question, the weakest one out of this trilogy.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke