Tag Archives: 2020

Movies or shows released in 2020.

Movie Reviews

Birds of Prey (2020) Review – Wasted Potential

Leave a comment
Advertisements

First of all, the full title of this movie is Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn (but in the UK it was released only as Birds of Prey, so let’s go with that) is a mouthful, even though I do kind of like it. Why am I mentioning this? Because, the same as the actual movie, it is a bit messy and bit all over the place.

What I don’t understand is, how can you make a movie about Harley Quinn played by Margot Robbie, (whose performance was one of the best things about Suicide Squad (2016)) and make it so… dare I say boring? Maybe boring isn’t the right word, predictable…? Look, this film is kind of (and by then I mean really) all over the place. Take Birds of Prey. And I don’t mean the title of the movie, I mean the group Birds of Prey. I had no idea, what the title meant before watching the movie. I didn’t know it’s also “a group thing” similar to other comic books groups like Avengers or, Suicide Squad. But in this movie, it only starts to get interesting when they get into the “Birds of Prey” thing which is… 20 minutes before the movie ends…?

I think the biggest mistake was to trying to do two things at the same time – have a standalone story about Harley Quinn breaking up with Joker, therefore becoming a target for everybody in the Gotham could have been a great standalone story on its own, with possible minor involvements of the other members of what would then become Birds of Prey. But this movie is supposed to be about the group and if you spend 70% of your movie’s time on Harley dealing with not only the break up, but also the fact everybody and their assassin mother is after her, then you are faced with two options – either make the movie over 2 hours (which probably wouldn’t work) or shorten the “B” story, which in this case should have been the “A” story though…?

Or, you know, make two movies, one fully focusing on just Harley Quinn (let’s face, if there is a character who can carry the entire movie by herself, it’s Harley played by Margot, as she’s not only having fun playing the character but I feel like she understands her really well) and then make your Birds of Prey, where we get to learn more about “the others”, where Harley can be the “side character”. As if you were to do that, you might have two decent films on your hands. But we have gotten a movie, with a big potential, but where most things felt off.

Let me give you couple of examples – Ewan McGregor is in this movie and I thought he was good enough. You know why? Because I felt like I didn’t get enough information about his character to know how well is he performing, I wasn’t sure where he’s coming from, what his motivations are… They did slightly better job with Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who almost managed to steal this movie, which is close to a miracle, given how little she had in this overall! And that is a shame, as her character was great, funny, cool and I wish we could spend more time getting to know her. Or another example – Jurnee Smollett – what happens with her character towards the end felt really out of place. I understand, that is what her powers are in the comic books, but in the movie, where we don’t really have anyone with any kind of powers, or supernatural being (yep, Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash etc. took a COVID vacation together I guess?) her big reveal at the end almost took me out of the movie completely, because I have completely forgotten that one tiny scene from the beginning, where they hinted at her powers. And that wasn’t Jurnee’s fault, because I thought she did a good job, but if your audience forgets something like this (“hey, she might have superpowers”) you might have not done such a great job of setting it up. And then it takes you out of the most enjoyable part of the movie.

Yes, as I have mentioned before, the last 20 minutes, where they actually (and finally) get together and fight the bad guy(s) are entertaining, but even those can’t redeem the 70/80 minutes prior, full of mainly Harley being all over the place and us not getting to know, you know, the Birds of Prey properly. At this point, people in charge of the DC universe should just take a hint from Marvel and actually plan stuff, trying to introduce, and hype characters, rather than throwing everything at the wall and see what sticks. That is how most of their movies feel like to me. Unfortunately, Birds of Prey is one of them. And like with most of the DC stuff prior, I am not saying it’s a bad movie. What I am saying is plenty of things just didn’t stick to that wall for me, sorry. It’s especially sad for this movie, that has really intriguing characters I would love to know more about. This could and should have been DC’s Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) where we could have been amused and possibly fall in love with quirky and unique characters in a really unique movie. What we have gotten instead are quirky and unique characters in a movie, that is mix of standalone movie about one character we knew quite well and tiny bit of setup to this super hero group she is part of. Shame, because the potential was there.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) Review – The Movie That United the Internet

1 Comment
Advertisements

Sonic the Hedgehog is definitely a strange movie, as probably for the first time ever, the online backlash to a first trailer was so strong, the entire movie got delayed because of it. If you don’t know what I am referring to, read it for yourself here. So, the Internet won, but did it? Did it actually improve the movie we got? Yes, to a degree.

This movie is definitely better than most of your family oriented movies nowadays, there is no comparison. And it’s also definitely better than most of “based on the video game” movies that came out. But it’s still just slightly better than average. I understand the movie is “trapped” within a construct of a video game based on a really popular game franchise, mainly with children and young(ish) adults, who grew up playing this game. I for one, never actually played a single Sonic game. I always heard about it, knew about a blue hedgehog who runs fast, just never owned the console to be able to play it and now (almost 30 years young) it’s probably not an ideal time for me to get into it, as it definitely seems more kids oriented.

The issue here is it’s still a kids movie, and for plenty of people in Hollywood, that means the story doesn’t have to make sense (at least that’s how it comes across sometimes). Let me give you an example – James Marsden (who’s actually decent in this film) is placed on “most wanted list” or something like that halfway through the movie, for helping Sonic. But do you think that’s addressed, or he seems concerned? Maybe for like a minute, but that’s it. A few throw away jokes and at the end, it’s no big deal. People in Hollywood seem to think kids don’t understand stakes. And I think they underestimate them. The perfect example of this is every Pixar movie ever made – even though they are animated and “kids oriented” films, they don’t dumb anything down, and their movies always have stakes. Not just that, but they deal with heavy subjects all the time, because kids nowadays can handle/process more than they could even 20 years ago. And they realise that.

Sonic the Hedgehog has some funny scenes, some entertaining scenes and yes, the extra time animators took to get the actual Sonic to look less terrifying and more kid friendly did pay off. But, if it didn’t have Jim Carrey, it would have been easily forgettable, because he’s by far the best thing about this movie. It’s not even about his performance, because what he is doing is not anything award worthy. But, you can tell he is having so much fun. I haven’t seen a Jim Carrey movie with him being off the chain like this, for a very long time, maybe since the end of the 90’s. I am not saying he hasn’t done any comedies since, he has, but I have always felt he’s never let himself go as much as he used to. I am really hoping that he will come back for the sequel (yes, there will be a sequel) as they setup his character well. That is definitely one of the best things this movie done, they did manage to get Carrey’s character quite well.

Overall, if you have kids or you yourself grew up playing the Sonic games, check this movie out and you might like it, even possibly love it. I don’t have any bond or attachments to this franchise, so I can only judge it on what I have seen, and Jim Carrey’s performance is pushing it to a slightly better than average comedy, with some moments. Definitely plenty of space for an improvement, hoping the sequel might actually offer us a bit more to chew on.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

TV Show Reviews

Fargo Review (Season 4) The Epic, That Should Have Been

Leave a comment
Advertisements

Let me get something straight right from the very beginning – the season 4 of this show wasn’t bad by any means. It just didn’t live up to the almost a standard by this point, where the TV shows (quality wise) are so up there, something like this beautifully shot and well told story could still feel like something was missing. Especially compared to the previous three seasons of this show, it’s by far “the worst” season. But here’s the thing – Fargo‘s “worst” seasons is still one of the better things you will see.

I remember being really excited about this season coming out, liked the casting, and the first two episodes were brilliant. But after the third episode, it took me a while to get back into it. Which isn’t usually me, I try to watch something as soon as it is out, but with Fargo, something wasn’t clicking. But eventually, I got around to finishing the entire 4th season and… Yeah. It felt “too epic” where it wasn’t supposed to be, if that makes sense. If not, let me explain…

I still remember the big “wow” the first season caused, as most people didn’t really expect a TV show based on almost 20 years old movie (back then) being any good, let alone excellent! And sure, part of it was great casting (but let’s be honest, every season of this show, including this one, is brilliantly casted) but a big part of it was the fact the creator Noah Hawley managed to capture the “magic” of the movie Fargo (1996) – he managed to make a “little story” feel like something extraordinary, like some sort of epic. And that’s kind of the “formula” – it’s always fairly straight forward, down to earth story (with some mystical elements) that because of the way it’s told, feels pretty important.

The fourth season felt to me like they did it (for the first time) the other way around. Like the writers decided “Hey, let’s mix up the formula, let’s tell an EPIC story in EPIC way”. And just loaded the season full of characters, who seem to have a big part (mainly Jessie Buckley as Oraetta and Emyri Crutchfield as Ethelrida) at first, just for especially these two, turning into almost an afterthought. And yeah, I know they both have a tiny part to play in the story overall, I just wanted more of those two characters especially. Because everything around them seemed… a bit boring. We have seen everything else before done prior (movies or TV shows) and much better. And that brings me to this confusing part of my review, where I need to acknowledge that although I was bored for parts of this show, I was also mesmerized by the camera work (maybe it’s fair to say it was the most beautiful boredom I’ve seen?) and most of the performances were also great, so there is that. But I can’t help but to compare to previous seasons, where I would not even think of reaching for my phone, because I was entertained that much. With this season, I was checking my phone, the time, and wondered why am I not into this?

Because I need to repeat this again, the pedigree is here. The above mentioned actresses were great, Chris Rock was outstanding, everybody else from Jason Schwartzman to Ben Whishaw did really great job, the camera work was on another level all together and the beginning and (kind of) the end worked well for me. When I say “kind of” when comes to the ending, that’s another thing – you can tell EXACTLY where this is going. And I mean exactly, who dies, who survives, what happens. The final episode didn’t feel that epic, it almost felt like “well, I guess we need to close it somehow, so we are just going to do everything everybody’s expecting anyway”. And if you think I am being mean, the last episode is only 39 minutes! Usually with last episodes of shows such as Fargo, they are at least an hour, sometimes even longer, because they have so much to resolve, so much to tell. Here, it almost feels like everybody wanted to get home, so somebody said “let’s just do this quickly and get the fuck out of here”.

You know the saying “in the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king“? You could use it to describe this season perfectly, except for the fact this season is the one-eyed man who is (unfortunately) in the country of people with both eyes functioning. Yeah, not as catchy and it is definitely the “underdog”, as without the doubt, this is the weakest season of this otherwise great TV show. It will be interesting to see, whether there will be a fifth season, what it would be about and most importantly, where would it rank in between the existing seasons. I am hoping this season was just a hiccup, even though it might be the most stunning and well done hiccup in the history of TV.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Misc

The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home (2020) Review – Delightful, Yet Slightly Underwhelming

Leave a comment
Advertisements

This is my very first book review and I am glad it was this book. The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home (what a handful to say) is from the same people, who have been bringing you the podcast Welcome to Night Vale since 2012. I discovered the podcast around 2016 and loved it ever since. I know the people behind this book wrote other books too, but they weren’t as intriguing to me as this one, as I have always liked the character of the Faceless Old Woman (narrated beautifully on the show by Mara Wilson) because of the the mystery surrounding that character. Why is she faceless? Who/what made her the way she is? So when I discovered there was a book just about her, I couldn’t wait to read it. And it’s a good book, don’t get me wrong, but I felt like it could have been better.

First of all, the book is “split” between past (where we get to know the girl before she became a woman and before she, you know, lost her face) and present, her in Night Vale, focusing on one of Night Vale’s residents, Craig. I loved all of those parts from Night Vale and about Craig and I loved the start of the book about her childhood, growing up etc. This would be really difficult to discuss without going into some spoilers, so…

BEWARE, SPOILERS ARE COMING!

When this story turns into a pirate adventure, I was just slightly confused. What should have been a cool idea, just felt all over the place. You can tell the writers could write about her and Night Vale with their eyes closed at this point, because the text felt “confident”…? Whereas the pirate stuff felt just off. I am not one of those fans who presumed the entire book would take place in Night Vale, even thought it’s surprisingly little of Night Vale there. But I get it, it’s all about the Old Faceless Woman and about how she became her… but is though?

I think that’s where I struggled with this book the most, as the book plays really fast and loose with the rules and never properly explains why she survived her death. I found that disappointing, especially knowing all the crazy, imaginative stuff from the podcast I know and love, where you have literal angels (if they exist in your universe, surely they could have had something to do with that?) and all sorts of mystical, strange creatures running around Night Vale. I do understand that it might be part of the “magic”, that it never is fully explained why she survived etc., but come on. If you write a book all about the Faceless Old Woman, I would expect to know how she became the Old Faceless Woman. And the book tells you… just because…? Or because she’s the only person ever to have been wronged, so she can take her revenge indefinitely…? Also, there is a part where she get’s hurt, but she’s already dead…? Can she die twice? Can she control when or whether she dies…? To me, this book doesn’t really answer these questions.

All I am trying to say here is I wish I would have known more about the actual why. I think the writers did a good job with her backstory, an ok job with all the pirate stuff, excellent job when comes to the present stuff and the “twist”, or the shocking ending… well, it wasn’t too shocking for me, because you can kind of see it coming from a mile away.

But I still really enjoyed the book, it reads very well, and if you like quirky writing, or you are familiar with the podcast, then this book is for you. Even though I wish we would have gotten a bit more as to why she is the Faceless Old Woman, and not just how, I would recommend you reading this. And if you haven’t already, check out their podcast(s) as they are definitely interesting people to follow.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you read this book? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

Soul (2020) Review – Pixar Strikes Gold, Again

1 Comment
Advertisements

I know, I know… “Pixar makes another great movie” is as surprising as finding sugar in Coca Cola, but even they had some movies over the past few years that were “good, but not great”. Now, I am not going to name any names, but The Good Dinosaur (2015) or Finding Dory (2016) know, what I am talking about. Luckily, Soul is one of those basically perfect movies, that children have fun watching and adults contemplate their entire lives during. 🙂

There are two reasons this movie resonated so much with me and why I think this might be one of the best movies they have ever done – the surprise and the lesson.

The surprise for me might have not been a surprise for anybody else, as I didn’t really know anything about this movie going into it, so I didn’t see the story going *THAT* route when it happened. For people such as myself, I am not going to spoil it, but let me just say, it slightly infuriated me, when it happened, because I wanted the story to continue the way it was developing, instead of that really sharp turn. But then, when the story continued to develop further, I really liked and appreciated the decision more.

The lesson, or the main idea behind the movie, really resonated with me, as that’s something I have been thinking about lately – people preoccupied by everything else, they “forget” to live their life. I really liked how Soul approached the idea of purpose, “spark”, or an idea you are destined to do just one thing. As having one thing you are passionate about is definitely great, but if you only have that one thing and nothing else, that might not be as great and can ultimately lead you to a very dark place, where it’s just you, being stuck and ultimately unhappy.

The voice casting was (as always with Pixar movies) on point. Jamie Foxx was great, Tina Fey was hilarious and surprising Graham Norton (again, didn’t know anything about this movie before watching it, not even the voice cast) almost stole the movie for me, as his voice is definitely made for animated movies (how come he hasn’t been in one prior?)

Soul is definitely one of those movies I need to re-watch, as I feel like there are thousands of different things I have missed during my first watch, because I was just so pleasantly surprised by this movie and was trying really hard to take everything in. I was surprised how the story was told, how much it had to say about life in general, how it was dark, sad and at the same time, hopeful. This is why people love Pixar movies and I am only hoping, that Pixar will keep surprising us in the future. They have managed to start the new decade very well. I believe in couple of years time, Soul will be part of the “what’s the best Pixar movie?” debate that’s so popular within the movie community, as this movie is definitely strong and has… soul. 😉

Rating: 5 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

Ava (2020) Review – All Hail Jessica Chastain!

Leave a comment
Advertisements

Let’s be blunt about this – Ava is your typical, (below) the average action movie, that’s trying so hard to ride on coattails of (mainly) John Wick‘s franchise. Except they have spent much less time and energy on any kind of world building (you know, the thing that made John Wick franchise as successful as it is) and that leaves us, the viewers with… this boring action (?) movie, with surprisingly great cast.

And that is the main advantage of this movie and realistically, the only reason I might even consider recommending this film to anybody, as the main cast is great. Colin Farrell is always a welcomed addition, even though in here, he doesn’t really have much to do, same for Geena Davis, who I like, but in this movie, she’s also acting on “auto-pilot”. John Malkovich‘s character does have more scenes, so he’s actually turning in pretty decent performance, and he’s a great mentor to Ava. This is where I need to stop and acknowledge the main character, star, and by far the best thing this movie has got going for it – Jessica Chastain. Do I have a weakness for her? Sure, but let’s not talk about that right now. As she’s the only reason (for me) to watch this movie. Don’t get me wrong, Jessica and the other great actors I’ve just named all had much better performances in much better movies throughout their respective careers, so it’s not like you’d have to watch Ava to see something spectacular from either of those actors, but mainly John and Jessica make this movie somehow watchable.

The main issue with this film is the script – we literally have seen everything in this movie not only done before, but done much better. It’s almost like somebody pitched this movie along these lines: “What if John Wick was a woman and the movie wouldn’t be as great? Everybody sold? Perfect, let me get Netflix on the phone”. Then, on basis of that pitch, they somehow got pretty great cast, and because they’d spent most of their money on those actors, didn’t have that much money left to spend, everything else was done as frugally as possible and voila, Ava was born!

What frustrates me the most is this movie could have been done differently, if only it didn’t feel the need to follow exactly the same storyline as literally every single movie in this genre for the past almost 10 years now. Only while watching this film, I had a realisation that in these movies (assassins, who are basically invincible ghosts, living double life, much smarter than your average Joe, or in this case, Jane) we have been getting only one type of story – this super duper assassin getting betrayed by their own agency/government/organisation and they have to fight the people they know to survive, go against the system that raised/train them. And with most of the other movies, they tend to be enjoyable enough, that I had not only never noticed, but was never bothered by that! But with Ava, I was bored halfway through the movie, so I started to think, why? I love this genre, I love Jessica and she’s great in this, why am I so bored? And then the realisation hit me harder than puberty hit my face some time ago – because I have seen this before, way often than I care to admit.

That could have been (alongside the casting) the saving grace Ava needed – if we did not follow in the footsteps of other movies so closely, if the filmmakers showed us more interaction (maybe even some training from the past?) between John and Jessica, this could have been much better. I can imagine it right now, half the movie would have been about how Jessica ended up with John’s character, how he trained her to be the great assassin she is now, the other half might have been about her getting ready for some important job, to show us how smart she is, what planning goes into what she does…? To me, that sounds much more interesting, we could have focused on those two characters mainly and the movie might have been at least been a bit different. I am not saying this would make Ava better by any means, but at least it would stand out.

Overall, if you are fan of Jessica Chastain (and if you are not, what is wrong with you, you monster!?! :-D) and you have watched everything else she is in, you might, just might, give Ava a shot, just to complete her filmography. Don’t expect too much though, as without that great cast, this movie would have barely been worth the piece of SD card it was filmed on.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

The Trial of the Chicago 7 (2020) Review – And The Oscar Goes To…

1 Comment
Advertisements

Your enjoyment of this movie will be directly influenced by whether and how much you like Aaron Sorkin as not only “the screenwriter”, but also Aaron Sorkin “the director”. Because The Trial of the Chicago 7 is the purest Sorkin I have seen since… maybe ever? The fact he’s behind the camera and not “just” writing a screenplay means a lot, as this movie is exactly as his dialogue – precise, entertaining, a bit of full of itself, but at the end, no matter how “sugary” that ending might have made you feel, he’s got you exactly where he wanted. At least, he got me.

The Trial of the Chicago 7 is your almost stereotypical “Oscar-bait” movie, that follows unwritten guidelines, that might look like this:

  • Based on a true story, that’s still (unfortunately) as relevant today as it was back then? ✓
  • A few really strong speeches throughout the movie, that will make you go “hooray”? ✓
  • Ending that might be too much, but it fits within that moment and makes sense, because the movie sets it up? ✓
  • Most of the cast giving great performances, that will most likely be awarded with at least Oscar nomination? ✓
  • Clear divide where everybody stands, with maximum of one character, who might be working for the “other” side, but he’s only doing it because it’s his job? ✓

I think you get the point, because this movie is definitely guilty of following a narrative, that’s well known, especially during the fall season (that’s the award season in Hollywood, where if there was no pandemic, these movies would have been the top contenders for some awards and being released in the cinemas). Fortunately for this movie, being formulaic is not necessarily a bad thing, as long as the viewer (me) only notices the formula after it happens. What I mean by that is, if I am truly immersed in a movie, I tend to forgive certain things that come to me only after the movie is over and I think about it. Whereas if I am not too into the film I am watching, I tend to get bored, and start noticing those things as I they happen. And this film had me from the very beginning.

It’s insane to think that most things that are portrayed in this movie not only happened, but some happened even worse than portrayed here – the perfect example of this would be the treatment of Bobby Seale (brilliantly portrayed by Yahya Abdul-Mateen II) that was even worse during the actual trial, than displayed here (fairly briefly, but still it makes you uncomfortable). Usually, I would give you more information, but given this is still a fairly new movie, I don’t want to spoil it, so for more information, I direct you to the spoiler section on IMDb’s Trivia page.

That leads me to my next point, why I don’t mind this movie being so “formulaic” – the performances are simply stellar all around. From Eddie Redmayne, Jeremy Strong to already mentioned Yahya, all great performances within their own right, but the highlight (and surprise) for me was Sacha Baron Cohen. I have never seen in anything else but comedies, so it was one of those “huh, this guy can act really well” moments, where by the end, he stole the movie for me, which is quite a shock, as the character he portrays, seemed to be quite a “hipster” in a real life, to put it really mildly. That is how I knew he delivered, by making me like a character, who I wouldn’t probably get along that well in real life (I know, the guy he’s portraying is no longer alive, but that’s beside the point. Also that’s not a spoiler, as he survives the movie).

There is something almost comforting about these big, “important” movies still being made “the Hollywood way”. As it became a formulaic for a reason, because it usually works. And The Trial of the Chicago 7 worked for me from the very start. I really liked the story structure (sometimes we follow the trial, intercut with stand-up routine), I really liked the flow of the movie, as it never felt dull or boring (and we talking about a movie that is slightly over 2 hours) and most importantly, I did like the ending, even though I do understand if somebody tells me they didn’t.

Overall, I would strongly recommend this film, especially if you love “historical” court dramas (the historical being in quotes, as it feels weird saying that about a film taking place in the late 60’s), Aaron Sorkin, and the old, comforting Hollywood formula. Given what we have been through lately (and the fact the pandemic is still happening) we all deserve something comforting, even though this film will definitely make you uncomfortable at some parts.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

The Old Guard (2020) Review – Highlander, But With Charlize!

Leave a comment
Advertisements

The Old Guard is based on a comic book (anybody remotely surprised at this point?) but let’s just get down to the business – it’s Highlander (1986) except without the Queen’s soundtrack, Christopher Lambert or Sean Connery but with Charlize Theron, Chiwetel Ejiofor and Dudley (Harry Melling) from Harry Potter movies, so… upgrade…? Downgrade? I will let you decide. One thing I am clear on is – it brings nothing new to the table and that’s this film’s biggest flaw.

I know, that original ideas are really hard to come by and everything is a recycled idea of something that already existed some time ago. So I am not mad or angry that they have just taken the concept of Highlander, you know what, no. This idea must have existed even before Highlander, so I will just say they have taken the concept of immortal warriors and polished it for a new generation, made it look shiny and exciting and added… a gay couple…? Which, I have no problem with, but thinking back to it, that’s literally the only new(ish) thing The Old Guard does.

Everything else about this movie you can put together in your head before it happens, and the movie feels like the director had a checklist on him, that might have looked like this:

  • Immortal soldiers, who are immortal, but only to an extent, which is not defined? ✓
  • One of them, who will definitely betray his or her group because he or she is promised death? ✓
  • Newbie, who’s just realised she’s immortal, so we can get the important info? ✓
  • Vaguely threating bad guy, who just wants to capture them and study them for his evil profit? ✓
  • At least one character, who’s hinted at being way older than everybody else, but never specified how old? ✓
  • An old friend, who’s separated from their group, mentioned couple of times throughout the movie, so they might make a “surprise” appearance at the end, setting up a sequel? ✓

And I could continue like this for a while, but hopefully, you catch my drift. If you have ever seen a movie, literally nothing about this film will surprise you. Everything is signalled hard, and even the action sequences are nothing special. Yes, Charlize kicks ass, but she’s done this for a few years now, in much better movies, so even that fact won’t give this movie any extra “edge”. I did like KiKi Layne‘s performance and I hope we will see her in more movies to come, as with what she’s been given, I thought she did well, and to be fair, most of the actors did the best they could. I am saying most of them, as I need to name one actor, who (for me) didn’t work at all and that is already mentioned Harry Melling. I don’t why, whether his character was off, or whether he received directions that weren’t that great, but he felt like he’s in completely different movie altogether. Now, I have yet to seen The Queen’s Gambit (2020) where I’ve heard he’s great, so I don’t think the problem was with Harry per say. But I do think the villain character in a movie like this should be either really sinister, or bat shit crazy. He was neither, and kind of just… there.

But here is the thing – The Old Guard‘s issue are not the actors. It’s the template like style or story-telling, where you know what’s going to happen before it happens. You know the next turn, before the movie makes it. But I can’t really blame the director, or the screenwriter for this, as I do think there is something else at play – the medium itself. Let me explain. I genuinely believe this could have been a kick ass TV show. It doesn’t need bigger than life budget, but what it needs is to give us backstories for all the members of this immortal warrior crew, and because the movie can’t be too long, you can’t really dig deep, especially if you have a crew of 5/6 people. This could have been a decent TV show, for maybe just 2/3 seasons, and the great thing about it, you don’t really have to change the story that much! First season can be spread around backstories intertwined with the newbie + the villain, the second season could be around the “surprise” villain, who shows up at the end of season one (or this movie) and their backstory, how that affects the group, and the third season… they can go to space, as that’s where the other franchises seem to be heading to? 🙂 Ok, the last part is obviously a joke, but I think that is why this movie for me couldn’t be any better, because it’s as good as the medium allows it to be. Unfortunately.

Overall, The Old Guard is perfectly fine film, that is probably the best the filmmakers could do within the limitation of the medium. Is it possible, that even the TV show I am pitching would not be any better? Honestly, yes, nothing is ever guaranteed but death and taxes, but to me, it would have been at least experiment worth trying, as this genre (people living throughout centuries) is fascinating and it should be given a proper treatment, so we can watch somebody’s psyche over period of centuries, or even millennium or two… how would that look like? I feel like there are so many ways you could take these characters, the possibilities should be endless.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke