Tag Archives: 2020

Movies or shows released in 2020.

TV Show Reviews

The Mandalorian Review (Season 2) – The Force, Grogu and… A LOT More

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This review only covers Season 2 of The Mandalorian. If you want to read my review of the first season, please click here.

Well, looks like it’s official – The Mandalorian is the best Star Wars content ever since X (please fill the X based on your preference and how much you liked/disliked the prequel or the sequel trilogy) as for the most part, it’s quest-of-the-week kind of show, that doesn’t rely too heavily on the Skywalker saga… until it does. And then it goes there hard. It’s impossible to talk about this without going into some heavy spoilers, so before that, let me just say that I am fully on board with this show, some of the spin-offs that have been announced and can’t wait for the season 3 of this show, patiently waiting where will the story lead us. Having said that…

Beware, SPOILERS are coming!

Overall, I liked almost everything they have done with this season. I did like the approach of “one episode = one quest” for our Mando to do, and this allows him to get closer to finding out who should take care of Baby Yod… ehm, sorry, I meant Grogu. Before we reveal the identity of the Jedi who will train our precious Grogu, we learn that Boba Fett has managed to survive the Sarlacc Pit in the Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983, my review here). I was shocked and happy with that, as a few episodes later, this TV show finally does something unbelievable – shows me for the very first time, why has Boba Fett been considered such a bad ass. I have never understood the hype around his character in Star Wars universe, but that episode, where he’s back and “reunited” with his armour, is definitely a cool one, that fully showcases him and his appeal.

Then we are introduced to Bo-Katan and Ahsoka Tano. If you are not familiar with either of those names, that just means you haven’t watched Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008 – 2020) TV show, where both of these come from (to be fair, I am not certain whether Bo-Katan might have appeared some place else, but I am more than happy to be corrected) and since I am going my way through The Clone Wars, I am familiar with Ahsoka and was glad she was portrayed so well by Rosario Dawson. That episode would have probably been the highlight if it wasn’t for the very last episode.

I really, really liked almost everything about that final episode, except the digital… Luke. That’s right, Ahsoka tells Mando and Grogu to go to this planet, where Grogu sends his signal for all the Jedi to hear, and the most powerful Jedi that’s alive heard him and it just happened to be Luke Skywalker. Which, at first, I thought it was bit of cheating, I mean… why go back to Skywalker saga? We already have Boba Fett, come on! But then, I remembered this takes places after the episode VI and about 25 years prior the sequel trilogy, so it had to be Luke. And again, I didn’t even mind that fact, after all, we have finally gotten a great scene of him against the Dark Troopers and actually cutting through them and crushing them using the Force. It all reminded me of the end of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016, my review here) and I am pretty sure that was on purpose. Only thing that truly bothered about this choice was the CGI on Mark’s face, as it takes you out of that moment. I would almost rather have somebody, who resembles young Mark Hamill, Mark could provide the voice…? I know, I know, am I truly suggesting re-casting Luke motherfucking Skywalker? No, but aesthetically it would have been way, way better than what we have gotten.

I feel like this might be breaking point for this series, as the second season of The Mandalorian has managed to supersede the first one, while it was building on something that was solid and building towards something really great. Now, where some part of the story seems to be finished (will there be more Grogu?) and the end gives us teaser for the first (I swear I can’t keep track of which one of those 256 Star Wars spin-off shows that have been announced will come out first) spin-off show, The Book of Boba Fett, I honestly wonder and hope this wasn’t the peak of The Mandalorian. As I have some inkling of what the season 3 will be about (Bo-Katan vs. Mando, possibly his struggle with the Dark Saber and the “power” it holds and Mando missing Grogu…?) but I can’t see how would they manage to make a full season out of that. But then again, so far, they (Jon Favreau and Dave Filoni) haven’t disappointed me yet and I they have earned my trust.

It will be interesting to see, where does this show go from here, which ones of the spin-offs will work and which ones won’t and how this will finish. But one thing is becoming clearer and clearer – this is the way. And I don’t mean just for this TV show, I think for Star Wars in general. I don’t know whether this is (un)popular opinion but this show proves Star Wars works much better as series. The stories don’t have to be these big, space battles between the good and evil all the time. Just contain the story to something on a smaller scale, give it decent budget, some talent behind and in front of the camera and get people passionate about this universe, who can name you any obscure character from different books, games etc., that will fill it in with references that if you understand, that’s great, but if you miss, that’s not that big of a deal. That might be the way for this massive franchise in the future.

Overall, The Mandalorian season 2 has delivered big and didn’t disappoint. I honestly am looking forward to the season 3 next Christmas and will probably check out The Book of Boba Fett too. In the meantime, I need to finish The Clone Wars and probably get Star Wars: Rebels (2014 – 2018) watched right after that, just to complete every Star Wars thing there is, at least filmed. Yes, I am one of those people… 🙂

Rating: 5 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

The Hunt (2020) Review – Very Fine People on Both Sides

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I can’t seem to remember last time a movie was considered as controversial as this one was. If you don’t know, ever since The Hunt has been announced, it’s been panned as it was the liberals hunting people, not the other way around etc. Then, it got pushed back because of mass shooting, then the pandemic hit… It seems like nothing was going this movie’s way. Which is a shame, as it’s a delightfully charming satire.

I have seen a few movies in my life, and the older I get, the more I appreciate a movie, that can surprise me in any way, shape or form. The Hunt definitely does that and more. Not only the premise is not what you might expect (after all, the liberals are not really the “side” known for loving guns or hunting) it also introduces you couple of big stars in the beginning of the movie (the only one I have recognised was Emma Roberts) just to pull a rug under you and have “gotcha” moment. It’s really hard to talk about this movie without going into the spoiler territory, so let me just say I did enjoy this film and I just wished they would’ve given us a bit more backstory to the very main character, and maybe established what happened right after the end. Having said that…

Beware, SPOILERS are coming!

The element of surprise is definitely the main advantage of this movie. If you watch it the same way I have (not knowing almost anything about the story, or who the main character is) the first 20 minutes or so will be pretty wild for you too, as everybody you get introduced to, dies almost instantly, keeping you on your toes. From then on, the movie still finds a way to tell pretty simple story (not everything is black and white, especially when comes to people and politics, too much of one thing can be bad) in interesting way, where you just go along, hoping to get a bit more of news (but not those fake ones) about what is happening, who is behind all of this and why. Once you discover that, it is pretty funny and also sad, when you think about it.

I have not yet seen The Glow (2017 – 2019) so I had no attachment or prior knowledge of Betty Gilpin, but she can definitely act. Hers was the most intriguing character, as I do believe (and movie even gives you several clues about this) they have picked her up by accident, as you can tell she doesn’t “fit the type”. She is highly trained bad-ass, she’s obviously experienced with war and combat, she’s really smart… Without trying to hint at anything at all, the other people around her are definitely slightly different kind. But maybe that is the point, maybe she was “the correct one”, but they just underestimated her? Maybe her being this smart bad-ass, that is the message of this movie…? I did hope the movie would hint a bit more about who she actually was.

Having said I think this movie brilliantly displays America. Now, more than ever, seemingly 2 large groups of people with very opposing views, believing their group is the correct one and the other group is the devil are always fighting. Which is fine, but then guns enter the debate and this is where it gets slightly scarier. The movie illustrates quite well how that element just complicates everything, and how we (or at least Americans) should try to unlearn seeing other people as certain groups, with one being the correct one, and the other being the wrong one. This two party system sure is fun.

Overall, I did enjoy The Hunt more than I thought I would. The only thing that was missing for me was a bit more information about Betty’s character and I wouldn’t mind knowing what happened to her after she’s boarded the plane. Did she manage to get back home? Did somebody else wait for her at the airport, to make sure she can’t say anything about what she’s just been through? Would anyone believe her…? The more I am thinking about it, the more I believe this might make even better limited series. If you can put your own personal bias aside, I believe you should have a pretty good time with this movie.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

Fantasy Island (2020) Review – Lost Meets Boredom

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Ok, right from the start I need to address something – I know the inspiration behind this movie is the TV show Fantasy Island (1977 – 1984) and that is where, to a certain extent, the TV show Lost (2004 – 2010) borrowed some elements from. But I haven’t seen the original TV show, and the movie really reminds you Lost, except really boring double episode, that wants to be a bit of everything, that results in… nothing much. Some might say “Hey, that’s exactly like Lost!” but I am not one of them (I do need to re-watch it and write about it at some point…)

Fantasy Island starts up promisingly, a group of random (OR ARE THEY?!) people are brought to an island, where everything is possible, so you get to act out any fantasy you might have. So far so good, as the name of the movie is the premise, nice and simple, brilliant. And with such an intriguing premise, you might spin it in variety of ways. The way people behind this film decided to spin this one… well, doesn’t make sense to me and feels almost wasted. Especially the longer you think about all the different twists and turns that this movie tries to justify (but does it though?) the more it doesn’t make sense, on the potential re-watch. Yes, this is one of those twisty movies that lives (or dies) on how strong those twists and turns hold up upon re-visiting the movie and I don’t have to re-visit it to know it wouldn’t hold that well. But of course, we need to go to the spoiler territory, so…

Beware, SPOILERS are coming!

I really liked the idea that there is something connecting all these random people and that even though they think they are acting out their fantasies, they are actually a part of a bigger, revenge fantasy. But, once you get to know the actual story behind that revenge fantasy (a girl, who had ONE date with a guy, who dies in a fire, is pissed off and wants all people involved either directly or not directly to die and pay) it just seems like a bigger stretch than winning a lottery while, at the same time, getting massaged by Kate Upton. First of all, she’s had one date with the guy and she’s ready to kill for/because of him? I know we are supposed to believe she’s got issues, but that seems a bit far. Also, how did she discover everybody involved? How did she discover (for example) the police man, who, just for the record, isn’t a fireman, therefore was he really to blame for not running to a burning building…? That logic seems a bit murky to me…

I think that is what is the most infuriating thing about Fantasy Island, the potential was there. The cast was solid, even though I only knew a couple of people prior (which usually is a good thing, as you don’t have such attachment to actors from their previous movies, so you can focus on the mystery at hand) the location was beautiful and until we learn the truth behind this movie, the story was intriguing enough.

What also doesn’t help this film out is tonally, it’s trying to do a bit of everything. It starts out as almost a comedy mixed with a fantasy genre, slowly touches on some action, drama and thriller notes, just so we can go to wannabe horror genre at the very end…? Which, don’t get me wrong, I don’t need movies to be one singular thing, but if you decide your movie will cover several different genres, maybe think about how they enhance the experience…? This didn’t seem to flow naturally, so the horror element for example is almost non-existent, except for couple of really cheap and not effective jump scares. The same with the drama, there is some, but it’s not done effectively, so the moment you think we might have something here, it moves to the thriller part of the story. It’s like trying to bake a cake, that has bit of strawberries, bananas, lemon, raspberries and for a good measure, you sprinkle some chillies on top. Now I am not saying that combination can’t work, but it takes somebody with a clear vision to execute it properly.

What could have been a potentially decent start to a franchise (or possibly a TV show, the same like the original, or the before mentioned Lost) has unfortunately turned out to be a subpar movie, that doesn’t know what it wants to be first and foremost, so it’s a mix & match of a few things, where it doesn’t shine enough in either category/genre to stand out in between other movies. Which would be bad enough in a normal year, but in 2020, where this film had next to zero competition because of COVID-19, that’s even worse and quite sad, to be perfectly honest. You won’t be too bored and some ideas are pretty good, but overall, you will forget this movie in about a week’s time.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

Bloodshot (2020) Review – Soulless Copy of a Copy

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Bloodshot is a great movie, until it reveals its hand, which happens about 10/15 minutes into it. Ever since then, it just gets over the same old same old of the genre, that seen this kind of material done way better and in more interesting way not that long ago (did somebody say Edge of Tomorrow (2014) mixed with Universal Soldier (1992) and a couple of other movies?)

This film is quite frankly, all over the place and is trying really hard to be everything – cool, touching, really cool, fresh, really really cool, dynamic… did I mention really cool? You think I am being funny, but I am not trying to be funny, as much as this movie is really trying to pretend how it’s innovative, cool and while doing that, it takes itself way too seriously. I could forgive a movie that doesn’t really bring anything new to the table, after all, the already mentioned Edge of Tomorrow wasn’t anything revolutionary in a sense that they took the idea of repetition and put it into a war scenario. But it was done cheekily, focused bit more on the story rather than actors taking themselves too seriously and that is why it worked and Bloodshot didn’t.

Look, I will be brutally honest here, I like Vin Diesel and have nothing but deep, genuine respect for everything he’s done throughout his career and the kind of success he’s had. That said, I think he was miscast in this film. He was sticking out like a sore thumb for some reason. He usually plays the action characters well, but I honestly think this movie needed somebody who has got bit more… acting chops? And I know Vin can sometimes act, but he hasn’t showed that side of him in a while, as the type of movies he makes, don’t require him to “act”. And I think this one needed somebody, who can kick ass and, at the same time, show a bit more of acting. Especially now, when six-pack is almost mandatory “condition” for any younger actors, you could throw a stone in Hollywood and hit 52 different actors, who would be more suitable for this role and had the same, maybe even bigger star pull than Vin Diesel has.

That would be my main thing against this movie but unfortunately, everything else kind of goes from here, as if you have a problem with the main character, the rest of the movie can be the most original thing you’ve ever seen (which this movie isn’t by a long shot) and you would still not enjoy yourself. There were cool sequences that are enjoyable, there a few different twist to this story, some of them I didn’t see coming that I liked and I really enjoyed Eiza González (but Jesus, give her something to do, not just one really cool scene) and Lamorne Morris was really welcomed entertainment in otherwise really serious movie, that shouldn’t have been as serious.

It’s been couple of weeks since I have seen this movie and I except of the premise (which I only remember because I have seen it done so many times prior), the one cool scene featuring Eiza and the occasional funny scene with Lamorne, I can’t recall anything of entertainment value. Bloodshot comic books (which this movie was based on) might be great, I have never read them. But this movie is as original as forgery and is as memorable as the lunch you had that one time, at that one place… you know which one I am talking about, right?

Rating: 2 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

Underwater (2020) Review – Waste Of… Everything

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On paper, Underwater looks like a decent movie. It’s only 95 minutes long, happening in an environment that’s foreign to a lot of people, which lends itself to having almost a free range of ideas, where you might even alter some “rules” as to what might happen under such a pressure, deep, underneath the ocean.

Well, this movie took a different path of… not doing anything interesting, shooting everything in total darkness and having the editor consume 16 cups of coffee a day, as that editing was… something else. Let’s break each of these points down, shall we…?

First of all, the story couldn’t be any simpler. Which it’s not an issue, plenty of great films have really simple premise. But what those movies have Underwater doesn’t have are characters! You can have the simplest of stories, if you give us something (or somebody) to root for! I challenge anyone who had seen this movie, name me 3 characters and tell me something about them… Exactly, I have seen this movie yesterday and literally can’t remember Kristen Stewart‘s character name and the only interesting (character) thing about her was she had a dog…? That’s another thing, before you even get a chance to meet some of these, boom, they are dead. And if they don’t happen to die, you still don’t know much about them to root for them.

The darkness element is definitely not just this movie, so I will (try) to go easy here, as it’s unfortunately, the trend of last 10 years or so. It’s almost like there was a meeting we, mere peasants, didn’t know about, where there was established that any newer horror/thriller movie NEEDS to be shot in the dark, so you can’t see anything. It’s incredible, how the times have changed. I have recently re-watched the original Halloween (1978, review coming soon) and realised that even though the main action is happening at night, I never got lost, didn’t have to squint my eyes, trying to distinguish shapes on my screen… and on the budget of $80 million dollars (WHAT?! How was this movie anywhere close to $20 million…?!) I would expect to actually see what’s happening on the screen. This movie doesn’t look like $80 million movie, I am so sorry, but how…? I can’t get over it. Just for a comparison, Arrival (2016) much better movie, in every way, shape, form, dimension, looks more like $80 million movie, but it “only” costed around $47 million!! I really hope Kristen got payed well.

The editing… Look, plenty of people are making fun of Marvel movies being chopped to bits, and yes, that would be their biggest flaw. But compared to Underwater, any Marvel movie looks like it was shot by zombie Sergio Leone as that’s literally day and night. I swear there were sequences literally every second had a cut. I usually don’t notice editing, unless it’s great, or really, really bad. And this unfortunately was the latter.

What makes me the angriest is I could still see a decent movie with the same exact cast, story (well, tweak it a bit, so it’s not exactly exact) if only somebody more capable was behind the camera. Somebody like Drew Goddard, or even better, Ridley Scott as the potential is here, the cast is solid, the setting lends itself to pretty much anything. The wasted potential is always the worst offender. What could have been…

I think that sums up Underwater – wasted cast, wasted potential, no characters, and don’t even get me started on the “aliens”, more precisely on how generic/non-threatening they looked. I there was a competition to design “the most average looking alien you can think of” and then they’ve used the person’s design, who ended up third, that’s how average they looked. And who/what are they? What motivates them? Are they aliens or are they creatures from the earth? Well, fuck you for asking questions like these, the film won’t tell you. I am having a hard time to recommend this movie to anybody, even if you are the most hardcore Kristen Stewart’s fan, this movie you might want to skip. And yes, I am still mad about the $80 million budget…

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

TV Show Reviews

Hoops Review (Season 1) – Unsure Start, Promising End…?

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It’s tempting to jump on the bandwagon of “everybody get’s a Netflix show nowadays”, especially when talking about Hoops. Especially after really weak start and this one was a bit… not great, let’s just say that. Usually, the first episode sets a bar and the rest of the TV show follows, luckily with this one, if you stick with it, it does get better, albeit not that massively.

Don’t make any mistakes though, so far, after watching the entirety of the first season, would I recommend it? Maybe, but with a warning – this is not something “deeper”. Take BoJack Horseman (2014 – 2020) – a quirky, sometimes bit too filthy and darker TV show that started like a typical quirky comedy, just to pull the rug under you half way through the first season, where after that you knew this show will be different. Hoops is not that. Hoops just… is. At least, for now.

The first two episodes or so feel like the writers just discovered swear words, so they are trying to utilise them all as much as they can and (I never thought *I* will write something like this) but it was a bit over the top. And that’s coming from a guy who swears a lot. Luckily, soon after there was an actual humour not just based on the fact the main character is a proper looser, who had never amounted to anything in his life, and the show does get better. But so far, it hasn’t reached level of quality we’re used to with the TV shows lately and that’s why all the reviews I’ve seen for this TV show are what they are. Because Hoops just kind of is there, with a few decent laughs per episode, but at the end of it, where you are waiting for something more to happen, you’ll find there is not much meat there.

And maybe that is the point of this show? Maybe we are so used to everything being some sort of parody, social commentary and anything in between, a show like this one feels a bit odd, as everything it wants is just to make you laugh in any way it can. Sometimes it works (the 8th episode entitled Death was my favourite) sometimes it doesn’t (the very first episode was just really awkward and not really funny episode to begin with) and after the 10 episodes that are available so far, I am intrigued as to whether there will even be a second season and if so, will it be any better…?

That’s why I don’t want to rush to any “definitive” judgement, as we only have 10 episodes to judge this show on. And if the TV show world has taught us anything, sometimes, it takes a season or two for a show to find its strength and get going properly. Will this be the case for Hoops? Maybe. Would I recommend it based on what I’ve seen so far? Only to somebody, who doesn’t expect anything more than dumb humour and is fine with characters, who are on the shallow side. Is there a massive room for an improvement? 100%. Will I be watching season 2, if there is one? Yep, to see whether Hoops will evolve into something better, or whether it’s a one trick (or in this case, dead) horse.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

TV Show Reviews

Middleditch & Schwartz Review (Season 1) – Give Us More!

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I love any kind of comedy, but I have got a special place in my heart for an improv comedy. I know that is really “in” thing to say right now, so let me just put it this way – I am not only still watching Whose Line Is It Anyway? (yes, it’s been back since 2013, on CW!) but before this, I have stumbled upon some clips from the “old” Whose Line Is It Anyway?, with Drew Carey and that resulted in me watching the ENTIRETY of this show. Yes, I, to this very day, have seen all Whose Line episodes, I had even tried watching the original British version (how many people know the American version isn’t the original?) but the thing about it… it’s too “classy” for me and this might have been one of the few instances, where bringing an IP (intellectual property) to the USA to make it “bigger, better, swifter” actually worked for the show, rather than destroyed it. Anyway, point of this is, I really love a good improv show. And Middleditch & Schwartz is definitely worth watching.

If you are (like me, how we’ve just established) a fan of improv and especially Whose Line kind of improv, be aware, as this is something completely different. There are two major differences between what Middleditch & Schwartz are doing – the length, and the format. Let’s break it down…

The length – unlike Whose Line, Middleditch & Schwartz are almost an hour episodes, where they don’t play “games”, or do anything “too crazy”, they try to combine improv within a story from an audience member. That mostly works, but because of this, it also creates a constraint, that you can’t cut around a joke, if it doesn’t work/land as much as they’d wish.

That leads me to the format of the show. Given the almost sitcom like nature of Whose Line, you can tell they only use the best takes/jokes from any recording session, so us, as the viewers, are always entertained. And since they play several different games during each episodes, there always should be plenty of material to make each of the performers look great. Whereas Middleditch & Schwartz are taking on much bigger risk by making the format different, harder, by trying to tell some sort of story, remembering names, trying to set up jokes that might or might not pay off 10/15 minutes later…

That is why I admire both of these gentlemen – their balls must be the size of… something really big, to be able to go out on the stage, knowing somebody will tell them a few details and for the next hour or so, they need to make something really funny out of that, where there are no breaks, there no saving graces, nobody else to hide behind and because of this, you know there will be some places, where the jokes will not land as well, or where they don’t know, where to move that particular story even further.

That is why I was really impressed with all 3 episodes, as I have laughed a lot and most importantly, you can tell they have done it a lot, and I don’t mean improv, but working with each other. Their connection is so strong, they can often tell if the other person has forgotten a name, or something else in the scene and immediately mocks him for it, or they’d pick up on a really small detail and that would give them an extra bit to spice up the scene (the toiler paper scene in the 3rd episode comes to mind).

The only reason I am not giving Middleditch & Schwartz the full rating, is I do believe they could make laugh even harder and I honestly can’t wait for Netflix to give us more episodes. Especially in these (still quite weird) times, comedy is important and these two will make you laugh, if you let them. So Netflix, once this whole COVID-19 goes away (by the latest estimates, the year 2356 looks pretty promising I’m hearing) please give them the resources for an extra shows, as I’d love to see what these two can come up with. Because from the glimpse of what I’ve seen so far, I’m impressed and entertained.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke

Movie Reviews

Artemis Fowl (2020) Review – Seriously…?

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Before jumping into this review, I do need to admit my possible bias – I’ve watched this film about 3/4 weeks after it dropped on Disney+ (that doesn’t seem that bad, but in today’s world, where you are supposed to watch everything the first minute it comes out and have a review ready the second minute it’s out, it almost feels forever ago). I haven’t read any reviews for the movie, but I’ve heard pretty much everybody and their grandma saying that this was a huge misfire on all cylinders. So I’ve braced myself for the worst and one Saturday afternoon, pushed the play button… what I’ve gotten was something so uniquely bad, I couldn’t believe and it brought me back almost two decades.

Why? Because at the beginning of 2000’s, I do remember these movie being really popular (even though I’ve never seen it), I remember similar movie called Agent Cody Banks (2003) existing and again, I’ve only watched the trailers for that movie, that to this day stayed with me for being so cheesy and bad, that while watching Artemis Fowl, I got a reminder that set me back almost 20 years ago. I can’t comment on quality of Agent Cody Banks (maybe it’s a hidden gem for all I know, even though the IMDb rating of 5.0/10 says a different story) but I can comment on this movie and… where should I start?

This movie feels like there were simply too many cooks in the kitchen, as you won’t convince me for a second, that Sir Kenneth Branagh directed this in the exact way he wanted. I’ve seen a few movies in my relatively short life to be able to tell when the studio interfered too much, and this is unfortunately the prime example of that. Which is something I’ll never understand – they (studio, in this case, Disney) buy the rights to really popular book series, and than they kind of ignore the story of each book and do a bit of the first one, a bit of the second one… this approach always puzzled me, as I don’t think this approach has ever worked (The Dark Tower (2017) has entered the chat). And I am not saying the need to adapt the books precisely in the way they are written, no, as even Harry Potter movies leave out bunch of details, but the main reason the movies worked as well as they have, is they respected the story elements! If something happens in the second/third book, there might be a reason to use it in those movies, not trying to mix it into the very first one, because it’s a cool idea. I have read the Harry Potter books before the movies were done and I am a fan of both.

And I am writing this as a person, who has never read a single Artemis Fowl book, but from what I’ve read after I’ve watched this movie from the fans who love it, that’s exactly what they have done here, they have taken certain parts of first 3 books and mixed them together. Unfortunately, it does feel like that.

This movie just feels like a childish wanna be adventure, where some parts of it are inspired by Harry Potter (ferries/magic exists) mixed with Men in Black series (where they need to keep it a secret, so they can manipulate time in order to erase our memories) sprinkle some big budget on top of it with Colin Farrell and Judi Dench and you have… a big mess of a movie, that’s all over the place tonally, story wise (plenty of times I wasn’t sure whether I’ve missed something, or movie relied on me knowing the books…?) and it just feels more cringey than the filmmakers intended.

What pains me the most is I 100% believe that the books are way, way better than this and if Artemis Fowl was done right, we could’ve had a new franchise on our hands. But this has flopped really hard, where the chances of this movie getting a sequel are slimmer than Kanye winning the 2020 presidential race (even though, with 2020 being the year of everything goes, I wouldn’t be surprised by anything anymore).

Rating: 1.5 out of 5.

That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!

Until next time,

Luke