Holy shit. One does not expect much from a film called Moonfall. You might be surprised, but I expected a fun disaster movie where, not such a spoiler alert, Moon is falling towards the Earth. And as long as you make it campy yet fun, I was on the board. Except this film decided on two things, first it will be over two hours long (why?!) and second, let’s take ourselves way too seriously. And those were definitely… choices.
Moonfall is yet another creation of Roland Emmerich, the master of disaster. Maybe it hurts me more than usual because I tend to find ways to have fun with his films. Most of his movies I like, some I even love more than your average film person. For example, I might be one of only a few people who unironically loved his film 2012 (2009) because it is just loud, dumb fun with unhinged characters who are fun to be around. In more than one way, 2012 and Moonfall are similar; both are about something that is total bullshit, both rely on CGI too much, and both are more than two hours long and feel grand. The one major difference is the fun aspect – I was able to have fun with 2012 because no matter what you think of that film, it takes itself seriously, but never too much. The movie lets you in and allows you to have fun while watching it. Moonfall does not.
And this is where the cookie crumbled for me the lack of levity in this film. Sure, we have the KC character here, portrayed by John Bradley. But since he is the only one who is allowed to have any fun (given the fact he is this film’s comic relief character) and the rest of the story and characters around him are playing it so straight, it feels like he is in a very different movie. And this is something I don’t get. Roland has made his name making spectacular disaster films full of levity and humour, and for some reason, he decided to go straight. Why? It is not like this specific story demanded it. It was hard taking this film seriously, given how some elements unfold, for the movie to play it straight almost at all times.
Another thing that dragged the film down was the runtime which is 130 minutes. Yes, Moonfall is a disaster film made by Emmerich that takes itself way too seriously and is over two hours long. Those three things should never be in the same sentence one has to go. But with the runtime, it would be easier (than ever before) to establish what should have been cut – everything related to their families getting to safety. I could not care less about either of those characters. If we were to cut them out from the film, suddenly the movie becomes 40 minutes shorter, at least. I am not saying that would save everything, but it would definitely help.
How would cutting them out of the film help, you might ask? Well, I am glad you asked. The last big issue this film has is it takes too long to, you know, Moonfall. It takes more than an hour before we start with the CGI spectacle we all came in for. And by cutting the unnecessary weight out of this film, we get to the action sooner. That would 100% help, and maybe this film would have been accepted more by not just the critics but movie fans too.
The only redeeming quality Moonfall has to offer is the decent CGI and Halle Berry, whose character might seem like she is in a different film, but at least it is still Halle Berry. What can I say; I have a weakness for this ageless beauty, and she is one of those that light up the screen for me, no matter how bad the film is. But everything around her is just awful and dumb. I am usually one of the biggest proponents of big dumb movies, and I have defended many of those because they have a place in cinemas. But with Moonfall, I can’t think of anything else I haven’t mentioned already. The movie is just that bad.
Overall, Moonfall is a misfire of gigantic proportions. I don’t know whose idea it was to make a movie about the moon falling and make it into a “message” movie (technology might turn against us!) that takes itself way too seriously. Whoever that person was, he; or she shouldn’t have a say in any movie ideas for at least a couple of years because Jesus, man. This film could have been a big, dumb, fun movie. And to give Moonfall some credit, it managed to be two out of those three. The only problem was that the “fun” was supposed to be the largest element of this movie. And without that element, everything fell apart quicker than this film at the box office. Yes, on the presumed budget of $150 million, this film made $44 million WORLDWIDE. Talk about a failure bigger than… the moon?
That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!
Until next time,
Luke
