I have a complicated relationship with Noah Baumbach. I like some of his movies (like Marriage Story (2019) and now this one), while the others I watched (Kicking and Screaming (1995), While We’re Young (2014) or The Meyerowitz Stories (2017)) left me cold. I don’t think they are bad movies; he just lives in a different society to me, so I find many of his stories just not that relatable, and many times, I can’t get into his films because of it. And in the first half of The Squid and the Whale, I thought it would be the same story again, him writing and directing an OK movie with great actors, but it will just miss me emotionally. But then… the second half happened.
It doesn’t happen that often you watch a movie full of unlikeable characters. And I mean that literally; not a single character in The Squid and the Whale is a good person. If pressed against the wall, I could argue that Laura Linney comes off as the most likeable out of this bunch, but that’s like saying you’d rather get shot in the leg than your arm. For the entire first half of this movie, I wondered why this movie exists. What is the point? Surely, we wouldn’t just watch a film about one of the most dysfunctional families ever just for “shits and giggles”, right? And when I feared the worst, the scene where Jesse Eisenberg visits a school counsellor and finally can see through many things because he gets him to reflect. And we do the same with him.
This movie is fairly simple if you break it down; it’s about how some people can fuck up their children by them being them, not “evolving”, just being stuck and unhappy in their life. Apparently, a big chunk of this is autobiographical based on Noah’s life, and if that’s true, I really hope he is in a much better place now. The Squid and the Whale reminded me a bit of The Lost Daughter (2021, my review here) because the themes are identical – what happens if people who shouldn’t become parents become parents? But this is where the similarities end, as The Lost Daughter goes a few extra steps in the… right direction. Wrong direction? That is the conundrum.
These two movies are unique because we don’t get many films like these, as they are (I would imagine) a hard sell. We like inspirational stories where people overcome everything and grow up to become great parents, or at least passable enough. We don’t like the harsh reality that many people should not become parents for a plethora of reasons, where they are too much into their lifestyles, don’t have the emotional capability, haven’t “fully” grown and still try to act like teenagers… pick your poison, there are many things that are unfortunately valid reasons. And the moment I started to watch The Squid and the Whale through that lens of “how would it look like if both of your parents were not fit to be parents”, this movie started to make more sense.
What I found fascinating is how, ultimately, the movie doesn’t judge either of them too harshly; it almost excuses both Laura Linney’s and Jeff Daniels‘ characters because it understands they are doing the best they can. At least, that’s how I read it, as the movie seems to acknowledge both of their issues (and they have many), but ultimately, the film asks us not to judge them too much. It is a fascinating and frankly unique look at these people, and I was surprised at how much I respected this film, especially when I doubted it in its first half.
Let’s be honest now; this is a rough movie to recommend because I can see how you could understand all the above things I mentioned and still despise all the main characters so much that you would have a terrible time with this film. And I couldn’t blame you; it’s tough to “root” for unlikeable people, especially in a family drama. The Squid and the Whale is one of those rare movies where I can understand every rating from 1/5 to 5/5. I think where I ultimately landed was due to a couple of things. Firstly, I have found massive respect for Noah to film this and rely on your audience not to judge these characters (who are, at least partially, based on your parents) too harshly. Secondly, we don’t see many movies talking so openly about how we don’t choose our family, but you should try your hardest to love them because they are also just people. I think that is universally relatable; I don’t think anyone forgets the first time they realised their parents were “also people” and saw them as such, with their flaws.
Overall, The Squid and the Whale is a hard movie to like, talk about, or recommend. And yet, when the film lets you in, you find yourself (almost) sympathetic with all these characters despite their massive flaws. Noah and I often don’t see eye-to-eye, but he’s gained enormous respect from me by putting himself (and his parents) out there for every random person (such as myself) to judge. If I were to bump into him and talk to him, I don’t think we would become best friends, but I believe he might be a fascinating person to chat with for an hour or two. If you fancy a film with no good characters to root for, and yet you might still sympathise with them at the end, try this one.
That’s all for this one! Did you see it? What did you think about it? Let me know!
Until next time,
Luke